How am I supposed to interpret this guy? ANY feedback is appreciated.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    I did not want to bring my personal problems onto this website, but I figure that this site could provide me with great insight through the diversity of the guys here.

    So I recently met a man on Jack'd (yes I know) while visiting family in the bay area. He is 28, has a great career, and is in tune with his own life. I am 19, have a minimum wage paying job and am still going to college trying to figure out myself. We have been talking for a little less than two months, a very short time and I find that he is very unaware of how I feel about him even though I tell him many times. We have talked about the possibility of our relationships and he commented on how it probably wouldn't work because we are at different stages of life, which I totally agree with. However, I continued to persist, remembering what he told me about weeding out suitable men for dating.

    He is a proud man, so sometimes I believe I confuse his reservedness to talk to me as being prideful. He is what I would call a Director, very assertive and firm, intelligent and simple in his approach. In other words, he is a yes/no type of person. But one thing about him that irks me is how emotionally contained he is. Maybe I am not used to men like him, but he dapple the lines with flirting with me and shooing me away. I might add that I don't engage in dirty texts with him unless he initiates it, which he always does, but he does not seem to think that dirty text messages are a sign that he is showing interest. He's told me that he likes to take things really slow because of what has happened to him in the past and I have reconsidered my approach to work around his system. He continues to keep me in the dark most of the time and I am usually only contacted out of convenience for him. We sometimes have small disagreements over the phone because I misinterpret how he is like as a person, despite the short amount of time we have known each other.

    I recently asked him if he was seeing other men in which he replied yes; two men who were both successful and financial supported. He told me he wasn't going to put all of his eggs in one basket because it's never worked for him that way.

    I agree, I should not have put all of my interest in this one man. I understand our circumstance, how different we are, our distance. I understand that a relationship with him would not be very good but I continue to pursue him and I can honestly say I don't know why. I myself, am typically emotionally stable and understanding, am very reasonable and aware of what approach I should take but first the time my emotions right now are getting the best of me. I told him last night why he continues to talk to me and he state he really doesn't know. I told him if he has zero interests in me, then please cut ties and let me be, in which he immediately, being very directive as he is, began to wish me well before I cut him off and told him I'd talk to him tomorrow. He then convinces me to have phone sex with him, in which I initially refused. He chuckles a bit and reaffirms me that we will talk about our stance tomorrow when I tell him he is confusing me.


    I know this is very long, but I tried to keep it as short and simple as possible with the important facts. I am very lost on what this guy is trying to do and whether or not I should continue to persist despite our circumstance. Maybe I am too young and naive to understand but I would greatly appreciate any comment about our predicament. An honest, brutal answer would be best. And I thank all of those who took the time to read this and answer

    -Nick
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:37 PM GMT
    Most likely he is looking for FWB and not much more at this time. If you are looking for marriage or monogamy in the next few weeks, he is probably not your guy.
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    Hello nickrolled... you have met from jacked so tell me about jacked? Just kidding. Let your friendship grows so that he would know your intentions and if you are really honest enough to start a monogamous relationship, I guess it's not that simple specially that he is seeing someone else's. Besides, what would you expect if he is seeing guys... know his intentions in you so that you do not expect something in return. If both of you enjoy acquatances, let it spark and later if it does not spark any longer, that means it's time to move on. Remember, he can be more manipulative if he is your boss especially that he is more experienced and might be playing around with his own thoughts of you. And you as an employee should be aware of your own rights because you do not know weather your inexperience might be exploited. So, more open communications and reasonable acceptance, knowing him must know what his pure intention in you and check your compatibility statuses like if you are meeting midway and not more of a starting point and good luck if your likeness would advance to love. icon_wink.gif
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 07, 2013 11:21 PM GMT
    You sound like a booty call. This guy doesn't seem like he is interested in pursuing a committed relationship with you at all.
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    Jan 08, 2013 12:27 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidMost likely he is looking for FWB and not much more at this time. If you are looking for marriage or monogamy in the next few weeks, he is probably not your guy.


    He doesn't hook up but he said he likes to leave his options open and saves sex for monogamous relationships.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2013 12:45 AM GMT
    You met him on jack'd and he says he doesn't hookup?

    Yeah right..
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Jan 08, 2013 12:50 AM GMT
    Yeah, he doesn't really seem all that interested, or at least not as interested as you are. Your different levels in life are leading you two to want different things. I'd suggest cutting him out and trying to focus on someone who will treat you better.
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    Jan 08, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    friendlyface08 saidYeah, he doesn't really seem all that interested, or at least not as interested as you are. Your different levels in life are leading you two to want different things. I'd suggest cutting him out and trying to focus on someone who will treat you better.


    He's told me before that I have this notion of him and he tries to be the opposite and what I make him out to be in return for doing so. But he has also also said he likes me and he knows I like him, but he wants me to go with the flow instead of trying too hard to make things work.