I would have to agree with PHLmuscle... You say you would like to "keep your relationship hot", but not up for explorong all options available. Ltr's are never easy for a man, any man. I've been with my lover for ten years, we've had our ups and downs, to keep it hot we have sex, sex ,sex, sex. Here,there, anywhwere anytime. And the idea of being able to let yourself go with someone you really dont care about can make sex very intense. Try restraints. Strap him down and lick him all over, or use an ice cube. Their are plenty of ways to keep a relationship hot if you use you imagination.