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Any ideas to keep a sexual relationship hot. I am talking in terms of long term partnerships. I know you have to have a bit of variety in your sex life and I don't mean adding a 3rd or 4th person into the equation. Toys and not just keeping the act in the bedroom.

ltr never lasted long enough to have less.

Be adventurous though.....

you know...I was told by a couple that I completely respect and have much adoration for that:

"...If you put a marble in a jar for each time you have sex in first year...and then take out a marble for each time you have sex after your first anniversary...you'll never empty the jar."

funny way to put it, but I have completely found that true.

- David

Hmmm. Your solution allows the addition of a cold latex toy but not a warm human body? No wonder sex wanes.

I've been with my partner for three years now. I think we might do it a little less than in the beginning, but even so, I think we average 3-5 times a week (the first year was probably more like 7-10 times/week on average). Certainly better than I ever managed before we met. I think it really helps to just keep an open mind and try new things with each other. I hope it doesn't wane going forward, but we are still going strong so far.

I would have to agree with PHLmuscle... You say you would like to "keep your relationship hot", but not up for explorong all options available. Ltr's are never easy for a man, any man. I've been with my lover for ten years, we've had our ups and downs, to keep it hot we have sex, sex ,sex, sex. Here,there, anywhwere anytime. And the idea of being able to let yourself go with someone you really dont care about can make sex very intense. Try restraints. Strap him down and lick him all over, or use an ice cube. Their are plenty of ways to keep a relationship hot if you use you imagination.

Let me add if you seek suggestions 'outside the bedroom'? Take a VACATION. That never failed to turn the clock back for my (ex)partner and I.

I recommend the Joy of Gay Sex. A great book that I get pointers from whether I'm in or out of a relationship. I picked up my copy at Borders.

When I was with someone for 6 months we pretty much had sex everyday still. When I was with someone else for 8 months towards the 6-8 months we kind of stopped having sex altogether :( I really think it depends on what you do during sex. With the first guy we had sex all over the apartment and did more positions. The other guy only liked it with me on my back...that got boring! I'm SO sick of that now lol

I think something else that makes sex get dull is jumping into it too quickly. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We didn't start doing anything sexual until after about a month and a half and even then we started off slowly, and not very often... even though we were always horny around each other. Little by little we explored with each other. We didn't even try anal sex until almost a year through, but I can tell you without hesitation that not a single moment of it was boring in any way. In fact, it's all been the hottest sex both of us have ever had.

So what I recommend, is just letting go of all your previous experience. Forget about all the things you've done, all the positions you've done and just start fresh. Just explore each other a little bit at a time and let yourself get lost in each other and in the sensations.

Good luck!

My spouse and I have been married (in Mass.) for three years. We've been together for almost ten years. We have better and more sex than ever. Of course, we really love each other and are deeply committed to one another as well and that is very important.

Personally I have always had fairly consistent daily sex while in the past 2 partnerships I have had. One, I am most likely oversexed and as such look for a partner who shares in that. Two, I make the effort to be creative and support my partner being creative in our sex life. Relationships take work both emotionally and sexually.

I would say as time goes on, most couples have less especially as they get more comfortable with one another.

We've been together 14 years and I can only say that a couple of things reawaken the fire... change and variety. A new apartment was a chance to "christen" each of the rooms. A new puppy changed our sleeping schedule. So did new jobs. Vacations are always good, as long as they involve some relaxation. Variety comes in the form of who does what and how. "cold latex" can be useful. And yes, once enough trust has been built up between you, other "warm human bodies" work, too. In fact, after the first decade, nothing revved us up as much as an exciting new contact joining us in the sack (or wherever).

my current bf and I have been together for roughtly a year and a half.

at first, we bumped uglies and jizzed 2, sometimes 3 times in the same session, 3 or 4 times a week.

we are down to 1 or 2 times a week now, 1, sometimes 2 orgasms per sessions...or sometimes no jizz at all.

but...ya know what? less is better nowdays.

quality vs. quanity, i guess. sex IS better when you both love each other.

I think it depends on the couple.
My grandparents had sex almost weekly well into their 70's... as awesome it is, I didn't necessarily want to think about it. But it made me happy they did.

EasilyDistracted saidI think it depends on the couple.
My grandparents had sex almost weekly well into their 70's... as awesome it is, I didn't necessarily want to think about it. But it made me happy they did.

Amazing!