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    Jan 09, 2013 5:53 AM GMT
    n/a
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Jan 09, 2013 6:41 AM GMT
    some gay activist told me once that gay guys came out because we want to meet other gay people, it isn't really anything to do about straight people.

    loneliness is the scariest thing really, and if you feel like you're the only one who has certain desires and fantasies, that would understandably lead to some serious self-hatred. But nobody is really alone. Lots of other people want to eat park wiley's yummy ass. (lol)
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 09, 2013 8:25 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidCongrats, man!

    I agree (even though it was literally 3 decades ago for me) that it truly is one of the most liberating events in a gay man's life. To that end, it's pretty special....I actually think we gain something from the process that our straight brethren miss out on: that claiming of self....that determination for one's own path. It's almost like a chick breaking out of an egg....if you don't do it, you'll suffocate inside that wall, but when you do there's a whole new world out there to explore.

    Enjoy it!


    chick-hatching.jpg
    The life of every gay man who chooses to come out.
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    Jan 09, 2013 9:18 AM GMT
    I just came out to about 15 people this break. The feeling is so uplifting!
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    Jan 09, 2013 3:01 PM GMT
    I dream of the day when there will be no need to "come out." - the day when being gay is such a non issue that people are allowed to always be true to their nature and not have to hide in the first place as if who they are is shameful.

    Also, I feel that the response of every loved one to whomever a gay person "comes out" to should be: "I'm sorry for all you have to suffer at the hands of straight society. I'm sorry you had to feel like you had to hide your true self from me. I'm sorry if I in any way contributed to your shame and suffering, but I'm overjoyed that you feel safe enough to share this most private matter with me now, and I want you to know I love you even more than I ever have. I support you 100%"

    I dream the day...
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    Jan 09, 2013 4:52 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI dream of the day when there will be no need to "come out." - the day when being gay is such a non issue that people are allowed to always be true to their nature and not have to hide in the first place as if who they are is shameful.

    Also, I feel that the response of every loved one to whomever a gay person "comes out" to should be: "I'm sorry for all you have to suffer at the hands of straight society. I'm sorry you had to feel like you had to hide your true self from me. I'm sorry if I in any way contributed to your shame and suffering, but I'm overjoyed that you feel safe enough to share this most private matter with me now, and I want you to know I love you even more than I ever have. I support you 100%"

    I dream the day...

    We all dream that this happened yesterday but I believe that it will eventually be a reality, at least most of it. Congrats OP, it's very liberating, doesn't matter how old you are when you come out.
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    Jan 09, 2013 10:31 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    yourname2000 saidCongrats, man!

    I agree (even though it was literally 3 decades ago for me) that it truly is one of the most liberating events in a gay man's life. To that end, it's pretty special....I actually think we gain something from the process that our straight brethren miss out on: that claiming of self....that determination for one's own path. It's almost like a chick breaking out of an egg....if you don't do it, you'll suffocate inside that wall, but when you do there's a whole new world out there to explore.

    Enjoy it!


    chick-hatching.jpg
    The life of every gay man who chooses to come out.


    LOL.
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Jan 09, 2013 10:56 PM GMT
    Yeah good points on this thread....

    With heteronormativity destroyed, coming out will just be an archaic thing really. When everybody stops assuming people are straight, or even 'most people are straight' , or 'everybody should be straight' we will then have true acceptance and true equality. Cuz straight people go 'Why are you telling me this? I don't come out as 'straight' But that's just because everybody is all up heterosexuality's ass. Either rim both hetero and homo people or you're not being fair. You're being a bigot who wants separate drinking fountains GRRR.

    And also, both gay people will be more comfortable about their opposite sex feelings, however small they might be- and straight people will lighten up and do the same. I know this closeted bisexual dude that blushes with shame when he admits that he wants another guy to play with his ass. But when he talks about tits and girls he's all 'look at how self-confident and normal I'm being!' It is that double standard bullshit that we need to fight.
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    Jan 09, 2013 11:12 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI dream of the day when there will be no need to "come out." - the day when being gay is such a non issue that people are allowed to always be true to their nature and not have to hide in the first place as if who they are is shameful.

    Also, I feel that the response of every loved one to whomever a gay person "comes out" to should be: "I'm sorry for all you have to suffer at the hands of straight society. I'm sorry you had to feel like you had to hide your true self from me. I'm sorry if I in any way contributed to your shame and suffering, but I'm overjoyed that you feel safe enough to share this most private matter with me now, and I want you to know I love you even more than I ever have. I support you 100%"

    I dream the day...


    I dream of that day so badly for future generations of gays won't have to go through all of this.