Guy won't cum

  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Jan 11, 2013 1:20 AM GMT
    This friends with benefit guy who I've slept with 3 times hasnt came on any occasion.
    The last 2 times his excuse has been "drugs" and "tired".
    He said he was close the last time but didn't end up happening.

    He wants to "hang out more and get to know me". I don't really like his personality though and we are both tops - though he has bottomed for me.
    I've never been with a guy that hasn't came and I don't get why this would be happening.
    3 times?!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 1:23 AM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidThis friends with benefit guy who I've slept with 3 times hasnt came on any occasion.
    That means he thinks you're ugly.
  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Jan 11, 2013 1:31 AM GMT
    But he wants to keep sleeping with me?!
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    Jan 11, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    Stress. Performance anxiety. Or maybe your just not hitting the spot. How fast is his heart racing when you guys are together?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 11, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    he may not feel comfortable with you or bottoming doesn't get him off
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 11, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    If he claims to be a top, then he clearly isn't getting off from bottoming. Not that hard to understand really...
  • ESL_Asian

    Posts: 176

    Jan 11, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    Did he impotenceicon_confused.gif?
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 11, 2013 2:57 AM GMT
    Is cumming really that big a deal? My ex used to tell me how disturbed he is at my calmness while cumming. My favorite part of sex is all before the "jerking to finish" part... do guys actually cum while topping someone, or do most finish by themselves like me?
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    Jan 11, 2013 3:05 AM GMT
    I agree with everyone else.
    And FYI When I top strangers, it is always feels great, but I sometimes can't cum if I'm not comfortable enough with the guy. That doesn't mean I'm not satisfied though. So don't put pressure on him to cum like it is the goal of sex. That will only make it harder for him to cum. Just enjoy the ride. I'm sure he has been or he wouldn't keep coming back for more.
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    Jan 11, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    Are the drugs he referred to prescription or illicit? I had a FWB who couldn't cum because he was on antidepressant meds and those have libido side effects. The guy was able to get hard for a while but I did all the work. He never came. If cumming is really important to you, then it's time you seek a new bud.
  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Jan 11, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    Firstly anyone who says cumming isn't a big deal is delusional.
    Secondly he couldn't get off by jacking off. Either his hand or mine.
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    Jan 11, 2013 3:57 AM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidFirstly anyone who says cumming isn't a big deal is delusional.
    Secondly he couldn't get off by jacking off. Either his hand or mine.

    Again, might be performance anxiety. And I ask again: his heart. Unusually fast?
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidFirstly anyone who says cumming isn't a big deal is delusional.
    Secondly he couldn't get off by jacking off. Either his hand or mine.

    Not even with his own hand? Ummmm... might be a serious issue there.

    If it were me, I'd move on. You might choose to give him more allowance, see if this is chronic, but I would write him off.
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:27 AM GMT
    Do you have an incredibly small penis? Or an incredibly large vagina? It really has to be one or the other.
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:39 AM GMT
    hey, i usually don't cum the first few times... its a comfort thing for me. Maybe for him too....
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 11, 2013 5:18 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Onemoresummer saidFirstly anyone who says cumming isn't a big deal is delusional.
    Secondly he couldn't get off by jacking off. Either his hand or mine.

    Not even with his own hand? Ummmm... might be a serious issue there.

    If it were me, I'd move on. You might choose to give him more allowance, see if this is chronic, but I would write him off.


    People write people off for not cumming??? Now I've heard everything.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 11, 2013 5:38 PM GMT
    I think the question about drugs is a good one. Think you need to find out what drugs he was talking about that inhibit his cumming. It could tell you a lot about him very quickly.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Jan 11, 2013 6:22 PM GMT
    I had a fuck bud that I saw a few times.
    We'd get together and go at it like crazy, until he shot.
    He would cum really quickly, and when he did, he was done.

    I never came when we were together - I can't rush it and he had no patience to wait for me. He kept saying, I want you to cum, but I told him I need more time to get to that point.

    Not sure if this is an issue with you, but some guys take a while to get to the point. My guess is that he enjoys the sex, but has some performance issues. And, the drug thing is probably contributing to his inability to reach orgasm too. Ask him if he has any problems getting off when he masturbates.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Jan 16, 2013 1:08 AM GMT
    He could be used to a very specific way of cumming [only j/o], or used to porn? Some guys can "ruin" themselves that way and it has nothing to do with you.
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    Jan 16, 2013 1:27 AM GMT
    I used to do that with some guys. I felt like cumming crossed a line that I didn't want to go. Or... its hard to explain but it was a way for me to keep the upper hand in the fb relationship.

    For example there was one fb that I liked but he was a real douche (law enforcement - go figure). He said I was just a human dildo to him. He also wanted me to cum on his face. So I would go over, fuck him hard for an hour, and then just walk out before cumming. He didn't deserve getting it from me.

    I'll assume that's not the situation you are in but there could be some psychological driver that he isn't telling you about.
  • Puppymuncher

    Posts: 163

    Jan 16, 2013 1:55 AM GMT
    Was he on MDMA or E? That can cause your dick to go limp.
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    Jan 16, 2013 2:18 AM GMT
    lol seriously? You guys would break up with someone over this? Well, good for him, he can do better than you,

    But as others have suggested, there can be a multitude of reasons for this. Personally speaking, I know that I can have trouble cumming with a guy I really like, something about the performance anxiety that goes with it (and the fact that it seems to be their goal lol). But a lot of people are simply wired a little differently. For me, sex is much more mental than physical. I have had guys pound me for a while before with no avail, only to have him whisper sexy thoughts in my ear, which caused me to shoot instantly.

    Sometimes its not my body that I want controlled, but my mind :-)
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    Jan 16, 2013 2:44 AM GMT
    Hothouse saidHe would cum really quickly, and when he did, he was done.
    I never came when we were together - I can't rush it and he had no patience to wait for me. He kept saying, I want you to cum, but I told him I need more time to get to that point.

    I hate it when a guy insists I cum because he just did. When I top, it takes me quite a while - an enjoyable while - to work up to cumming.
    If I could cum on demand, I would, but it just doesn't work like that for me. Time...
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    Jan 16, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    Chainers saidSometimes its not my body that I want controlled, but my mind :-)

    Oh to have both - that's the summum bonum.
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    Jan 16, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidBut he wants to keep sleeping with me?!
    If you are ugly, all I'd wanna do is sleep, too. Can't say I blame him.