You don't give a shit about mental health. Got it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 2:57 AM GMT
    Topic title changed Jan 13. It's a TL;DR that explains what was learned from the thread.

    A good thing that came out of that malevolant troll was that it gave us a reason to pull the dusty box of compassion from under our beds; it got people to draw a line between humor that's harmless and humor that indignifies the suffering of others. There are costs to some jokes that are too high.

    It was good to see everyone show sensitivity and unity when it came to using a disease to insult someone. I am writing this to see if the same sensitivity and unity will be shown to those suffering, and those who have survived a loved one of mental illness.

    Mental illness can range from ADHD or mild anxiety to major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder. Suicide rates are the highest amongst the mentally ill, and most suicide attempts are made by the mentally ill. Rates are even higher amongst LGBT.

    Most of us have either had or cared about someone who was suffering from a mental health problem. You would expect we would be less willing to tolerate when forum members use it to insult each other. But we do tolerate it.

    There is a sick internet meme/joke called "an hero", making fun of a badly spelled memorial to a boy who committed suicide. It's not used often because it is disrespectful to the dead boy, and very harsh to the person it is used against.

    This was written recently by an RJ member about someone here who has been open about Depression, suicide attempts and existing suicidal thoughts.
    Gosh, I thought he was dead. Would not have known it was still haunting the forums if you had not quoted. Have had it on my blocked/ignore list for quite some time now.

    I wonder when they will find the body an hero? Always negative. Never anything enlightening to say. Surely headed for an hero or some other bad death.
    I'll leave the names out, as it doesn't matter who said it. And I have seen Depression and suicidal feelings mocked in many ways by many people in my time here. Failed attempts, "wish you had succeeded". Not yet attempted, "the world would be better off without you".

    We always clamour when we hear about the most recent youth having killed themselves due to bullying. We are so decisive that it is wrong. But most members fail to speak up against it when it happens right here.

    We have committed to not shy away when someone jokes about AIDS, which is a great start to 2013 for RJ. I wonder, is there any compassion and principled commitment remaining to stand against jokes about the mentally ill?

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 3:21 AM GMT
    Strange that you consider those personal attacks to be jokes. icon_confused.gif I don't think they were meant to be funny, but rather to display the author's utter loathing of the object and unintentionally their own heartlessness. As always those lines say way more about the author than their object. icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 3:27 AM GMT
    With internet forum rules, where direct personal attacks aren't allowed, the art of subtly wording an insult as a joke is the method for trolls and flamers to accomplish the same thing without being banned. The line between the two is practically non-existant at this point.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 11, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidWith internet forum rules, where direct personal attacks aren't allowed, the art of subtly wording an insult as a joke is the method for trolls and flamers to accomplish the same thing without being banned. The line between the two is practically non-existant at this point.


    This is why self-deprecating humor is the best way to go.

    ....Instead of saying you're such a fem bitch, it's I'M such a fem bitch.icon_mad.gificon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch said "the world would be better off without you".
    I've been told this before from people who truly believe it. It's too bad I'm such a bitch because otherwise I might actually consider granting their wish. If I recall correctly, one of them actually has HIV. How ironic.
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:16 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    SkinnyBitch saidWith internet forum rules, where direct personal attacks aren't allowed, the art of subtly wording an insult as a joke is the method for trolls and flamers to accomplish the same thing without being banned. The line between the two is practically non-existant at this point.


    This is why self-deprecating humor is the best way to go.

    ....Instead of saying you're such a fem bitch, it's I'M such a fem bitch.icon_mad.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    It is. Though it sometimes results in awkward moments.

    "Are you okay? Do you need someone to talk to?" icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 9:35 AM GMT
    Skinnybitch, I support your efforts with this thread. We need to be more aware of how our words can affect others.

    For some that are new here, I have actually seen others post messages to skinnybitch asking when he was going to do us all a favor and commit suicide so he wouldn't come back.

    We may wish people would leave RJ, but I personally, would never wish someone dead in the process. That's just my personal opinion.

  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Jan 11, 2013 9:41 AM GMT
    depression isn't all that funny. I know for to many people suffering from it including myself personally.

    learning to cope, still to afraid to open myself up completely and trust someone. Worst yet is the so called 'availability' of therapists in school. Glad it's a free service and lucky to have it but the fact that I had to wait almost three months to even see someone?!?

    sorry turned this into a slight personal rant but I throw all my strength and energy to support this thread.
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    Jan 11, 2013 10:16 AM GMT
    the kid tat commit suicide in minnesota,u know,where the most gay kids kill themselves,is probably gay i think,and the ppl who made fun of a kid just fucking filth and despicable,ugg,Michele Bachmann is such a trashy cunt,made ppl angry.

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    Jan 12, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    Checking back in to see that there have been a handful of people responding. Thanks to those few.

    In the thread about AIDS jokes being unacceptable, there were 4 pages of support within 24 hours. What should I take it to mean about the way people think about mental illness?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    Mental cases are nothing to joke about either
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    Jan 14, 2013 2:35 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidWhat should I take it to mean about the way people think about mental illness?
    From the underwhelming response, I can think of only 3 possible reasons why people failed to post here like they did in the AIDS jokes thread, and neither make the member base look good.

    1. People don't give a shit about mental illness. It's not visible and therefore not as tragic nor deadly.
    2. Mental Illness isn't considered a "gay disease", so we shouldn't support it.
    3. People didn't give a shit about AIDS either, it was endorsed by a popular member and was an opportunity to hate on a troll.

    I have asked what other insights could explain it, but no one gave any ideas.

    I am disappointed in you, RealJock. icon_neutral.gif

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 14, 2013 2:49 AM GMT
    For what it's worth, you're one of my favorite posters. Your perspective is peculiar and thought provoking, and probably sticks with a lot of people who read you. I hope you stick around.icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    How can I give a shit about something I don't have?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:03 AM GMT
    OP, you have my full support! I work in healthcare and I've seen how mental illness affects people. For those of you guys who have never dealt with a loved one with this illness and despite what you have read or seen on TV, dealing with this type of disease is scary, sad and unfortunate. NO ONE should ever have to go through this painful process and when you make fun of someone with mental illness, all you are doing is inflicting more pain. I challenge any one of you to do the following:

    1. Understand the pathophysiology of any mental illness
    2. Provide continuous support for anyone going through it

    Why have I asked you to do this? Because you'll be surprised on how much help you can bring to someone suffering from this disease and that your help, has the potential to help save that person's life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:07 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidHow can I give a shit about something I don't have?
    You mean like AIDS? icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    paulflexes saidHow can I give a shit about something I don't have?
    You mean like AIDS? icon_neutral.gif
    You're right, but I think he was saying he has no mental health. Which isn't a bad thing, it's the kind of joke that is meant to make it easier to talk about, something which is apparently very needed.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 16, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    My last partner was mentally/emotionally disturbed, although I didn't know that until we'd been together for three years. He was also HIV+. That I did know from the outset.

    The way I look at this is jokes about people with a disability are in very poor taste. That said, I'm not perfect and I *might* be callous and stupid enough on occasion to say something insensitive to someone or about someone jokingly. I *hope* if/when that happens someone calls me on it and I also hope I have the wherewithal to own my shit and apologize to anyone I may have offended.

    Very early on in my posting in this forum one very prominent, long term and well thought of member insinuated that I had downs syndrome. I was so offended by that comment and its utter lack of sensitivity and political awareness that I put him on ignore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 5:00 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saidChecking back in to see that there have been a handful of people responding. Thanks to those few.

    In the thread about AIDS jokes being unacceptable, there were 4 pages of support within 24 hours. What should I take it to mean about the way people think about mental illness?




    People care.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2843012
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2013 5:19 AM GMT
    ^that doesn't disprove point #3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2013 6:03 AM GMT
    I actually didn't call anyone names, accuse anyone of killing anyone. I refrained even when I was called names. Feel free to reread it.

    I left names out of this thread intentionally because I wasn't out for anyone in particular's blood. And it's not a topic to be making fun of someone's mental health in (that's the point of it).