Ever been stuck in a rut?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:15 AM GMT
    I feel like my whole life has been stuck in a rut these past few months. I decided to stop pursuing my thoroughly-unemployable master's degree and instead join the workforce. I'm trying to move to a real city with a real gay population, so I've been applying to jobs like crazy for 4 months but haven't been able to get so much as a phone interview. Now, I'm out of money (I can't even find a local, part-time job!), and I'm living at home with my parents. All of my high school friends have moved on, so I don't have anyone to hang out with while I'm stuck at home. To make matters much worse, my decidedly-not-boyfriend of 1 year dumped me last week. I don't feel up to dating local guys because I'm too sad and I don't have any intention of staying home long-term.

    I'm lonely, I'm poor, I'm prospect-less, I'm frustrated, and I'm in total limbo in multiple facets of my life. icon_evil.gif Has anybody else ever been stuck in a rut like this? Have you ever been endlessly WAITING for your life to get moving? How did you deal with it?

    Help me get out of my rut!
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    Yes, been there done that at your same age. Three words for you: persistence, perseverance and patience. I wish there was a formula for us to tell as to when it will all get better for you. Hang in there!
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    Yup, in a serious one now. Pretty miserable.
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:42 AM GMT
    Dude, I've been in a rut for over two years. So when you've got that figured out, find me. Since I've got your problems plus a college loan and I'm being sued.
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    Jan 11, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    Fiyero27 saidYup, in a serious one now. Pretty miserable.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 11, 2013 4:45 AM GMT
    If you really want to get out of there you can. Just keep applying and following up on jobs man. I know you've been applying for four months but if you don't continue to apply yourself the you well get nowhere. Follow up on those applications!
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Jan 11, 2013 9:33 AM GMT
    take it day by day. Sometimes its hard, and worst yet is fighting depression so just don't rush. At least that's my tad bit of advice for whatever it's worth.
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    Jan 11, 2013 10:24 AM GMT
    one thing after another,when u have a successful career,u blame it that it take over ur love life and family,or when u have a partner,u probably blame him for slowing u down for ur career path.So just get a job 1st,better if u take another part time job at night,like 12 hours a day(yes,i do that),so gurl werq it!!
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 11, 2013 10:31 AM GMT
    For some reason every time I read this topic headline I read it as Ever been stuck in a Nut?
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    Jan 11, 2013 10:50 AM GMT
    Yes. I have been in a rut. What I have discovered is that to get out of the rut, you have to change something in order to make it happen.

    So, you said that you have decided to stop school and join the workforce, well if you can, try to approach that with optimism - a new adventure with endless possibilities. It will be what you make it.

    It sounds like you are taking the necessary steps. Best of luck!
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    Jan 11, 2013 11:13 AM GMT
    A few things....

    If u want the rainbow, you gotta put up w/ the rain.

    There are hazards in everything one does, but greater hazards in doing nothing

    It's better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right to late.

    Decide a rut is not where u wanna be and make the decision daily to free yourself of those shackles or you will find yourself in a bigger rut dwn the road.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 11, 2013 6:55 PM GMT
    I've been in a rut for quite a while now. But that's okay, it's consistent and secure. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 11, 2013 7:20 PM GMT
    Saguaromatic saidI'm trying to move to a real city with a real gay population, so I've been applying to jobs like crazy for 4 months but haven't been able to get so much as a phone interview. Now, I'm out of money (I can't even find a local, part-time job!), and I'm living at home with my parents.


    Isn't Tucson's economy still trying to dig it's way out of the trenches a bit? I was in Phoenix/Tucson the other week and although I had a good time...I can't say I'd jump to moving there.

    I'm just curious (you can answer silently if you wish) but do you have any money left in financial aid/scholorships/school loans?

    As for your boyfriend troubles, atleast you had 1. Shit, I've gone 2 years in this state with no real boyfriend. The ones I meet are generally the same persistent wankers. One guy is cute, he's been chasing me but he has a boyfriend. The rest are just lame as hell just trying to see a real-life Black cock for the first time, super stupid ass mofos. I would like to meet a nice White/Hispanic guy but most are just narrow-minded as hell and the bruthas out here just act funny as hell trying to flex for these sorry ass White dudes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 7:24 PM GMT
    Set small, concise, clear, attainable goals. Knock them out one at a time.
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    Jan 11, 2013 7:32 PM GMT
    All work is honorable. Just take any job. Bag groceries at the supermarket. Anything. Introduce into your life some structure and then use that structure to climb out of your rut.
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    Jan 11, 2013 7:35 PM GMT
    theantijock saidAll work is honorable. Just take any job. Bag groceries at the supermarket. Anything. Introduce into your life some structure and then use that structure to climb out of your rut.


    LOL, that was my first job. It was very exciting. Found $100 on the floor behind the register one day. I was only 15 at the time, now that I think of it, probably came out of someone's drawer LOL. Of course, money has no tracking device...
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    Jan 11, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    theantijock saidAll work is honorable. Just take any job. Bag groceries at the supermarket. Anything. Introduce into your life some structure and then use that structure to climb out of your rut.


    LOL, that was my first job. It was very exciting. Found $100 on the floor behind the register one day. I was only 15 at the time, now that I think of it, probably came out of someone's drawer LOL. Of course, money has no tracking device...


    So, the question becomes, did you have ethics, or not? Did that 100 go in your pocket or did you see if someone's drawer was short and try to preserve a job. The 100 wasn't yours.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    chuckystud said
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    theantijock saidAll work is honorable. Just take any job. Bag groceries at the supermarket. Anything. Introduce into your life some structure and then use that structure to climb out of your rut.


    LOL, that was my first job. It was very exciting. Found $100 on the floor behind the register one day. I was only 15 at the time, now that I think of it, probably came out of someone's drawer LOL. Of course, money has no tracking device...


    So, the question becomes, did you have ethics, or not? Did that 100 go in your pocket or did you see if someone's drawer was short and try to preserve a job. The 100 wasn't yours.


    I think I can answer this one, because nobody has ethics at 15 icon_lol.gif
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 12, 2013 3:32 AM GMT
    I felt the same way about two years ago. I had to sit down and re evaluate what my goals were. I had created an immediate goal and after a year and 10 months, I achieved it. And by doing so it set me free financially.

    I became credit card debt free as of December 28th 2012.

    I try to keep my long term goals in mind, but keep one short term goal at the front of my path. That way I am ALWAYS making a step into the right direction.

    Figure out your goals and decide from there what is the most important, and move from there.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    TheAlchemixt saidFor some reason every time I read this topic headline I read it as Ever been stuck in a Nut?

    My small font made me read it that same way at first, too. icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:38 AM GMT
    Saguaromatic said
    Help me get out of my rut!

    This is why some guys join the military. Not the best of motivations, nor ultimately the best solution for many, but some do it.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    i'm a huge fan of routines so frequently feel like i'm stuck in a rut and just trying to stay busy to ignore things that would bother me otherwise. the basic truth about being in a rut, though, is the fact that you can change things whenever you want. you can go to different places, meet new people, try new things, move to a new city....whatever it takes whenever you're ready for something new.

    you are in control of your life. you just have to make the decision to do something new and break out.

    have courage and do what's best for you.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    Saguaromatic saidI feel like my whole life has been stuck in a rut these past few months. I decided to stop pursuing my thoroughly-unemployable master's degree and instead join the workforce. I'm trying to move to a real city with a real gay population, so I've been applying to jobs like crazy for 4 months but haven't been able to get so much as a phone interview. Now, I'm out of money (I can't even find a local, part-time job!), and I'm living at home with my parents. All of my high school friends have moved on, so I don't have anyone to hang out with while I'm stuck at home. To make matters much worse, my decidedly-not-boyfriend of 1 year dumped me last week. I don't feel up to dating local guys because I'm too sad and I don't have any intention of staying home long-term.

    I'm lonely, I'm poor, I'm prospect-less, I'm frustrated, and I'm in total limbo in multiple facets of my life. icon_evil.gif Has anybody else ever been stuck in a rut like this? Have you ever been endlessly WAITING for your life to get moving? How did you deal with it?

    Help me get out of my rut!


    Stop waiting. As cliche as it may sound, you really are the master of your destiny. Maybe what you're doing to get your life moving can change a bit. You might want to take any extra time you have to critically analyze the way you do things, and how you perceive things. This is not the same thing as being cynical, which can lead to moping. Ask yourself what comes naturally to you? What you like? What you fear? What you avoid? Does it makes sense to do things the way you have been doing them?

    Then do something out of your comfort zone (nothing unduly crazy; but just something you wouldn't naturally do even if it is rational) and see if things improve. Also, the routine stuff that you would do to keep pace with life must continue, even if it seems like you don't have to. It's surprising how we look for structures and authority to define what and how we must do things. Respect yourself the same way you would respect a deadline, a boss, or an obligation and do the routine and the not so routine until it hits you that your life's moving ahead. And that's how it happens: you come to realize that things are happening, if you keep at it.

    You'll be fine.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:59 AM GMT
    I want to say 2 things

    1.All good things happen for those who wait...
    Sure....you may not have money or boyfriend, but never lose hope on yourself!
    during these kind of situations...there is no one in the world who can help yo but yourself!

    2.You only fail when you stop trying...
    you are trying for 4 months & you have no money...Don't count days...even if it takes a year or so...at the end you will always get what you need...
    (Remember Edison tried more than 1000 times to make a light bulb, Imagine what would be the world like when he had stopped trying at 999th time)

    Be cheerful

    I wish I could be more supportive...& you were close to me..so that I can be more helpful...
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    I know exactly how you feel bud. I've been there before, especially with the boyfriend experience. It's been about two weeks for me since my 4 year relationships just exploded. He cheated a few months ago, then we got back together and I found out about two weeks ago, from his friends, that he has been dating some guy behind my back . pretty hurtful. All of last week I was a mess, but slowly and surely, I've been thinking more positive and hoping that the future brings me something better. icon_smile.gif let me know if you need to chat or anything icon_smile.gif