I don't think very much about how other will view me. If I feel misunderstood in the moment, I may try to clarify what I am communicating. Mostly, I don't think I have much control how others view me. I have control over my speech and actions.
I like the idea of balancing listening and speaking, being curious about others and somewhat transparent (self-disclosing). I believe I am an attractive man, even at age 55. I am not attractive to everyone, but definitely to some. It isn't always enough because there are barriers for me to connecting with others even when there is mutual attraction Others have barriers which make connecting difficult. Lots of them have to do with family upbringing, personality type, and preoccupation (not noticing when I am attracted to someone or when someone is attracted to me).
Somehow, some people manage to make connections and develop genuine friendships and close relationships. manage to feel like they belong with others. It isn't easy for lots of us. For a few people it comes easy.