What should I do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2013 11:33 PM GMT
    I broke up with my BF like few months ago. But he called me today and seemed very depressed. He asked me to be together and I said no. Then he told me he may commit suicide if I we don't get back together.
    I am fucking scared. I don't know what can I do. I don't want to go back together. I messaged one of his friends to talk to him. Still now I feel so bad.
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    Jan 11, 2013 11:43 PM GMT
    Of people I know that took them back, they usually spent a long time trying to dump them and the suicide threats became harder to deal with each time so they would just keep taking them back over and over.
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    Jan 11, 2013 11:49 PM GMT
    How awful!
    My instinct in to kick your ex in the nuts and then get him some counselling. I'd be offended to be taken hostage. And you can't take his threat lightly.

    Do you know any of his friends or family that can talk to him? Maybe there's a suicide hotline that can help?
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 11, 2013 11:50 PM GMT
    Don't get back together with him because he said that he is going to commit suicide. The last thing you want to do is be in a relationship with a guy who has personal issues that he needs to take care of himself. These issues will bring you down as well.

    You need to contact the person he is most closest to and let them know what the situation is.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 11, 2013 11:52 PM GMT
    Watch the movie Fatal Attraction. You'll know what to do.
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    Jan 11, 2013 11:53 PM GMT
    bus9ja2d saidOf people I know that took them back, they usually spent a long time trying to dump them and the suicide threats became harder to deal with each time so they would just keep taking them back over and over.

    Yeah even after break up I was not completely over him. But his obsession and stalking is making him less attractive day by day. Still I don't think me or anyone is worthy enough for committing suicide
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    Jan 11, 2013 11:57 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidWatch the movie Fatal Attraction. You'll know what to do.

    If that's a serious advice, can you tell the story? I don't want to watch a movie for such problem.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 12, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    Shagglot said
    HottJoe saidWatch the movie Fatal Attraction. You'll know what to do.

    If that's a serious advice, can you tell the story? I don't watch to a movie for such problem.


    It's about a married man who is stalked by a woman he had an affair with. She starts manipulating him by threatening suicide.... And when that doesn't work, homicide is her next step.
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:09 AM GMT
    HottJoe said

    It's about a married man who is stalked by a woman he had an affair with. She starts manipulating him by threatening suicide.... And when that doesn't work, homicide is her next step.

    wtf!! don't fuck with me. So you are saying he will try to kill me?
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:11 AM GMT
    Shagglot said
    HottJoe said

    It's about a married man who is stalked by a woman he had an affair with. She starts manipulating him by threatening suicide.... And when that doesn't work, homicide is her next step.

    wtf!! don't fuck with me. So you are saying he will try to kill me?


    It is a very silly film. She cooks his pet rabbit and he kills her by stabbing her then shooting her when she comes back from the dead. Sorry if I spoilt it for anyone icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:14 AM GMT
    you may want to arm yourself with some psychology.. maybe you can talk to a professional to understand how he is manipulating you, and himself...

    if you can understand that he is perhaps a narcissist, then you can un-tangle yourself in a very clean way, and also probably learn something about yourself while your at it..

    this is a link to an extremely helpful youtube channel, who addresses relationships, and psychodramatic individuals... especially narcissism... there are many vids, and frankly i have learned tons from this guy, even though it pertains to dealing with women, the fundamentals are the same....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdhrnJAEv5E

    best of luck to you both!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:28 AM GMT
    Ask yourself why/how you were in a relationship with him in the first place. Dysfunction works both ways. Then you can at least change yourself.

    You won't change him. So you can give him the options to get help. Maybe then, when he's more rational you can revisit the subject of getting back together or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    jonnyboy saidyou may want to arm yourself with some psychology.. maybe you can talk to a professional to understand how he is manipulating you, and himself...

    if you can understand that he is perhaps a narcissist, then you can un-tangle yourself in a very clean way, and also probably learn something about yourself while your at it..

    this is a link to an extremely helpful youtube channel, who addresses relationships, and psychodramatic individuals... especially narcissism... there are many vids, and frankly i have learned tons from this guy, even though it pertains to dealing with women, the fundamentals are the same....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdhrnJAEv5E

    best of luck to you both!!

    Thank you. I will watch the videos.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 12, 2013 12:31 AM GMT
    Shagglot said
    HottJoe said

    It's about a married man who is stalked by a woman he had an affair with. She starts manipulating him by threatening suicide.... And when that doesn't work, homicide is her next step.

    wtf!! don't fuck with me. So you are saying he will try to kill me?


    Yes, that's exactly what he's trying to say!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:33 AM GMT
    Make a list of all your enemies and tell him you will always love whomever destroys them all.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 12, 2013 12:34 AM GMT
    Shagglot said
    HottJoe said

    It's about a married man who is stalked by a woman he had an affair with. She starts manipulating him by threatening suicide.... And when that doesn't work, homicide is her next step.

    wtf!! don't fuck with me. So you are saying he will try to kill me?


    Yes. Run. As fast as you can!!!icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 12:58 AM GMT
    Get back with him for one day, break up with him that evening, and give him a box of razor blades as a "parting gift."
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    Jan 12, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidGet back with him for one day, break up with him that evening, and give him a box of razor blades as a "parting gift."

    Why doesn't that feel very right? I feel weird even thinking about razor blades. Sick!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 1:15 AM GMT
    Shagglot said
    paulflexes saidGet back with him for one day, break up with him that evening, and give him a box of razor blades as a "parting gift."

    Why doesn't that feel very right? I feel weird even thinking about razor blades. Sick!!
    Ok, a really sharp filet knife.

    Point is, he's not going to kill himself. It's a mind control game.
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Jan 12, 2013 1:27 AM GMT
    A guy tried to pull me this on a gay chat room.

    I told him clearly that he needed more self-confidence if we were ever to date, that he was a codependent and I could smell it a mile away. I told him that I didn't wish him any harm, and I was upset that other people were bullying him so much but I was trying to teach him that we teach people how to treat us. He was just idealizing me because I was the few people in the room who didn't pick on him.

    People can be AWFUL, and therapy is good. I am upset at how cruel everybody is, both online and in the real world. But yeah - that's no excuse to try to make you feel guilty. He needs some help.

    It's the little things in life, like when you go to a restaurant and they are stingy with the food - (they usually give you too much but sometimes they give you too little and I'm pretty sure they do it to be an ass.) Just... being in the world annoys me with all the sly digs people try to do at people's expense. As a natural Whitelighter I can smell that shit a mile away and I feel like just punching everybody in the face sometimes - and say 'cut that shit out, be nice to ppl or suffer the wrath of my heroic fists!'

    But yeah it's deeper than him thinking he needs another person to happy.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 12, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    Dont give in. I did that with an ex and I let him drag me along for an extra year. It was a big waste of my time. He is dangling what ever he can in front of you to keep him with you. You are no longer his boyfriend and he is not your problem.

    Id change your number and block him any way possible. It may seem harsh, but if he is going to stoop to such lows as to bait you with his possible suicide, he needs to be on his own and face his demons.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    I would say you did the right thing, get someone else who knows him involved, parents, other friends, etc. But you should not jump back in the boat.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    You guys had a past together and obviously he misses you. I would at least talk to him to get him via whatever he is going through..as a friend of course. If you don't want to get back together with him, just indirectly tell him or directly if he can't read between the lines.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    That is an age old trick.Call his family and tell them.Dont become a hostage to threats.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jan 12, 2013 4:51 AM GMT
    1) A relationship under duress is no relationship at all.
    2) if you're really that worried, call someone he's close to to help out. This isn't your fight, as he's no longer a part of your life. If the situation truly warrants it, call the police and have him put under a psychiatric hold. It may be the best thing you can do for him.