Ever met someone MONTHS/YEARS after a 1st date and found out why they didn't go on a 2nd date? The reasons would fucking surprise you...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 1:34 PM GMT
    I met a guy over a year ago on OKCupid. We decided to meet up at a bar and grill place. The chemistry seemed right, conversation...everything seemed fine. So, a few days after the 1st date when he told me he was seeing someone and decided not to meet anyone else, I couldn't understand what went wrong. I didn't even respond to the message.

    Fast forward to most recently, he hit me up online on another website. I wasn't sure if he remembered who I was or not. I just kind of went with it. I never bought up that we met before or what changed.

    First off when I met him this time, he turned out to be like 30 pounds heavier than when I seen him a year ago. He was still cute, but I thought to myself what the hell happened? Then, after a few minutes I couldn't resist and just had to bring up that we met and why didn't we end up meeting again.

    He tells me that I was very cute, awesome body, great dressed, etc. but that the SHOES I was wearing were too stylish:

    $(KGrHqZ,!jYE651HfCeDBOyZDqERnQ~~60_35.J

    At the time, he had on flip flops which I didn't care. I wanted to wear what I wanted to wear and where I'm from, men leave work and have on stylish shoes. It just so happened that out of the 10 pairs of shoes I have, I wore the ones that were 'deal breaker'.

    I'm like come on. Are you kidding me? See, a lot of dudes are single due to their own doing. The last date I went on locally was with a guy who everything seemed fine on the date, and he too is playing coy, texting but responding 3 days later/not asking for 2nd date, etc. It makes me wonder, what 1 small tiny little thing did he not like about me to not want to meet up again? It's bullshit. Just petty ass bullshit. And I think this is most evident online because people view dates as as nothing more than a checkbox. It's like they go on dates looking for shit to find fault just to validate their own neurosis bullcrap.

    Now the guy in this scenario was absolutely infatuated by me tonight. And I'm like yeah that's great, but it would of been better if you were this excited about me 14 months ago BEFORE you gained 30 pounds.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jan 12, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    *hug* everyone's got something to be picky about, but there are also smarter guys who draw up the T chart of pros and cons, then start weighing in on the factors.

    good luck with your future dates ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:13 PM GMT
    Move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:21 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidI met a guy over a year ago on OKCupid. We decided to meet up at a bar and grill place. ...At the time, he had on flip flops.

    That sounds like a deal-breaker in itself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:34 PM GMT
    Wow. I'm sorry. Well, hope you get to go on another date where someone doesn't judge you on your shoes icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 3:40 PM GMT
    I just remembered a post on RJ over a year ago where one guy in Texas was very angry that the guy he was going out with wore boots even though told not to in advance.
    Weird mind baffling stuff happens. It must be a cultural thing.
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Jan 12, 2013 4:02 PM GMT
    LOL if someone said that to me i would crack up right there, poor shoe choice as a reason not to go out again!? good grief mate you're better off without the second date!
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jan 12, 2013 4:31 PM GMT


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  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 12, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    I love your dating adventures, FuzzyPecs25! I know it's pretty frustrating having to live it, but you should gather these into story format and publish. Cathartic and lucrative!
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jan 12, 2013 4:35 PM GMT
    You're just learning how petty gays are now?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    I was with you till here:

    "BEFORE you gained 30 pounds."

    Guys a jerk for paying so much attention to your shoes, but . . . well, I dunno . . . is that all that different than blowing him off for his weight? Guess it's easier to change shoes than lose 30 lbs, but it's still blowing someone off for superficial stuff.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jan 12, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    tumblr_m3d551hZFA1roqt88.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 4:50 PM GMT
    RunnerBen saidI was with you till here:

    "BEFORE you gained 30 pounds."

    Guys a jerk for paying so much attention to your shoes, but . . . well, I dunno . . . is that all that different than blowing him off for his weight? Guess it's easier to change shoes than lose 30 lbs, but it's still blowing someone off for superficial stuff.


    Agreed!

    Those shoes are deal breakers tho.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 4:54 PM GMT
    We tend to fill in the blanks about people based on a handful of details. My former company once had a consultant who received bad marks on her performance review because a senior leader at our client site saw her reading the paper in the mornings when he came in. He didn't realize that the consultant came in 4 hours before he arrived and that she was usually on break. He didn't even bother to ask his team if his perception was correct.

    This is why I feel that we should date less and hang out to be friends more. If you date someone, it's like an interview. You have these impressions, "I sent the last text so now its his turn", "Did I come across as being too awkward?" "Something was a little weird about him." If you hang out just to be friends, you can ask a guy, "so what's up with those shoes you wore man?" and maybe tease him a little. You also get learn about each other without feeling like you have to make a decision about next steps and don't have to read between the lines when you text each.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 12, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    If he gave you that reason, I would have run to the door and left...haha.

    How pathetic and shallow.
  • runnermtl

    Posts: 129

    Jan 12, 2013 5:07 PM GMT
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Be thankful!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 5:14 PM GMT
    Yes, that's a superficial reason. But those shoes are fucking ugly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidYes, that's a superficial reason. But those shoes are fucking ugly.

    I was right about to say...

    But honestly: anyone who has gets an actual straight forward NO is lucky....as I think I say in every post. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidI met a guy over a year ago on OKCupid.


    There's your deal breaker. Haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidYes, that's a superficial reason. But those shoes are fucking ugly.


    They belong to the Armadillo Man superstar uniform.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2013 9:55 PM GMT
    Well, it's not like he was a jerk the first time around. Maybe you weren't ready for each other yet. Time changes people, and who knows? Maybe he's matured. At least he's honest and ready to move FORWARD, not BACK. Good luck.
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    Jan 12, 2013 9:56 PM GMT
    Montague saidtumblr_m3d551hZFA1roqt88.gif


    lololololol. Thank you icon_smile.gif that video is hilarious
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 12, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC said
    mickeytopogigio saidYes, that's a superficial reason. But those shoes are fucking ugly.


    The belong to the Armadillo Man superstar uniform.


    Yeah and he just called, he said he want's his shoes back.
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    Jan 12, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    running11 said
    Montague saidtumblr_m3d551hZFA1roqt88.gif


    lololololol. Thank you icon_smile.gif that video is hilarious

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL icon_lol.gif
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Jan 12, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    a few weeks ago i met a guy i had 2 dates with 10 years ago ,when we dated i knew he recieved a job in miami usa,so we knew it wont last ,but i always remembered him like ,....a potential husbent that destiny didnt let me have... so after 10-12 years i see him in the israely gay site, to make it short ,we met... and it was so dissapointing....
    from the other hand i was happy i didnt miss a thing icon_smile.gif)