Playing hard-to-get online!?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 8:24 AM GMT
    I've noticed that some of the guys i've been chatting to on POF and Okcupid wait at least 24-48 hours before replying, even though it's clear they were online long AFTER I log off, sometimes the day after (yes I have a blank 2nd account for checking those things)

    I know people play hard to get in real life, but this is infantile and churlish! And yes, I see the irony/hypocrisy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 1:56 PM GMT
    They could be those guys that type on the keyboard with their index fingers. That takes a lot of energy....maybe!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 13, 2013 2:01 PM GMT
    coolbeans saidI've noticed that some of the guys i've been chatting to on POF and Okcupid wait at least 24-48 hours before replying, even though it's clear they were online long AFTER I log off, sometimes the day after (yes I have a blank 2nd account for checking those things)

    I know people play hard to get in real life, but this is infantile and churlish! And yes, I see the irony/hypocrisy


    my real response on my blank, second account
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Jan 13, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    Sometimes we need some time to think what to say. Or I'm stressed or under time pressure and can't answer with justice right away. There's my reasons. If I don't feel the other guy is trying hard I usually need to come back to the message after a while, say a few days, after which time I'm usually able to send something of more substance or think of something to ask him. Are you giving them ample opportunity to converse or are you just firing empty messages?

    I think you're foolish to assume it's all always about "playing hard to get".

    You're not doing yourself any favours by checking up on them either...chill out
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    Or maybe they are logged on and away from their computer. Creeping on guys you have only emailed? That's creepy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 3:32 PM GMT
    calibro said
    coolbeans saidI've noticed that some of the guys i've been chatting to on POF and Okcupid wait at least 24-48 hours before replying, even though it's clear they were online long AFTER I log off, sometimes the day after (yes I have a blank 2nd account for checking those things)

    I know people play hard to get in real life, but this is infantile and churlish! And yes, I see the irony/hypocrisy


    my real response on my blank, second account


    lol calibro I love you! your comments crack me up every time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    It could be a multiple of reasons why they don`t message/answer you back.

    1) They just don`t like you in the same way.

    2} They are to lazy to respond.

    3) They just have other thing`s in life that are more important then emailing you back.

    4) They have to work

    5)They are already seeing someone.

    To be honest i would suggest maybe going for guys who will answer you right back.

    I also don`t think that most people can play hard to get online.It`s just that life is busy and if your sitting there waiting for somebody to respond then that is saying something.Like maybe you should get out of the house and get some fresh air once in a while.

    It`s also normal for a guy to wait a day until he will respond.The messages i get on here are usually a reply of a good several hours after i`ve sent them.Have you tried waiting?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidOr maybe they are logged on and away from their computer. Creeping on guys you have only emailed? That's creepy.

    i was thinking the same . and i leave it on all the time ... doesn't mean i am hard to get.... if i am i wont be here ....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    nickJr said
    smartmoney saidOr maybe they are logged on and away from their computer. Creeping on guys you have only emailed? That's creepy.

    i wast thinking the same . and i leave it on all the time ... doesn't mean i am hard to get.... if i am i wont be here ....

    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 4:58 PM GMT
    They're probably doing what I do: wait a little while so you don't look desperate and don't have anything to do. It's like not answering on the first ring.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1117

    Jan 13, 2013 8:50 PM GMT
    No disrespect to the OP, but maybe the one who is being infantile is you!? the feedback results of meeting someone online IS NOT the same, and will never be as when meeting someone face to face in real life!

    We humans are becoming so independent on technological communications, that we are letting ourselves to believe that IT is no different then, an extension of, or just the same as when meeting someone face to face!? and while this may well be true there are exceptions, thou!

    The guy that I am currently dating I met online, on Okcupid to be exact! he was the one who first made contact then I responded back the same day. One response led to another and another and another, in the process we were exchanging a lot of long messages that turned very intense on both ends. I was quite aware that things were moving fast, waaaay too fast! but I went alone with it because he said, I said, things to each other that were strikingly similar and familiar to us both. Being the level headed person that I am, I knew that even thou things were moving too fast I also felt there were possibilities!?

    I see love connections between two people much like tracing paper; one holds the original and the other the carbon copy. I am sure that my online date at the time thought that he held the original and I the carbon copy, while at my end I thought the contrary! but the day came when we exhausted our e-mail communications, but became mutually comfortable enough to make the next move: Phone conversations!! I was the one who made the first move and gave him my phone number to call, and within hours he did, surprisingly! I always felt from the way he expressed himself through the e-mails exchanges, that he was way too idealistic, young, and probably inexperienced even thou we seem to share a lot in common. The day he called me I was mesmerized to hear his voice, he sounded calm, cool, and collected; I was expecting a much more immature toned of voice, but I was wrong. So you see life is full of surprises, you just never know nor cannot judge through your own perceptions of things, much less of people until you get closer and closer to what is real and what is not.

    Well just a few weeks ago we mutually decided it was time to meet in person! and went we did it was instant chemistry, why? I think because both of us were being true to our feelings all along from the very beginning! We both accepted our doubts, fears, suspicions, disappointments, joys, and even our differences as those little stepping Stones that lead us to be where we currently are. Neither one of us are complaining!!

    The moral of this real life event is:

    LEARN TO GIVE TIME MORE TIME! Jumping into one’s own conclusions is not going to help you enjoy for what surprises may lie ahead!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2013 9:07 PM GMT
    IceBuckets saidThey're probably doing what I do: wait a little while so you don't look desperate and don't have anything to do. It's like not answering on the first ring.


    Everyone does this, even guys who are interested in you. It's just some stupid social construct that you should play along with ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:20 AM GMT
    number 1 reason why he won't ever reply you back. (Online).

    HE'S NOT INTERESTED and NOT that INTO YOU.

    MOVE ON buddy, it's not that he's playing hard to get.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:30 AM GMT
    coolbeans saidI've noticed that some of the guys i've been chatting to on POF and Okcupid wait at least 24-48 hours before replying, even though it's clear they were online long AFTER I log off, sometimes the day after (yes I have a blank 2nd account for checking those things)

    I know people play hard to get in real life, but this is infantile and churlish! And yes, I see the irony/hypocrisy



    a) Maybe they're just not interested.
    b) Sometimes you do some other shit while you're logged into another site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:35 AM GMT
    coolbeans saidI've noticed that some of the guys i've been chatting to on POF and Okcupid wait at least 24-48 hours before replying, even though it's clear they were online long AFTER I log off, sometimes the day after (yes I have a blank 2nd account for checking those things)


    You may want to re-evaluate your obsessive stalkerish behavior if you're keeping tabs on the logout times of guys you're preying on with secondary accounts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:42 AM GMT
    Last time I played hard to get online, it took at least 30 minutes to log on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:45 AM GMT
    Numbing heart/brain games. No thanks. I've been disappointed in my peers and self before, don't need a revisit.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 14, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    xsocalguy8x saidnumber 1 reason why he won't ever reply you back. (Online).

    HE'S NOT INTERESTED and NOT that INTO YOU.

    MOVE ON buddy, it's not that he's playing hard to get.

    Saying "maybe they're just not interested" is the most easy and cliche thing to say on RJ, but it's false. People play games, and often end up together if the games aren't overtly asshole-like. It's a matter of deciding how much of it one is willing to put up with. I draw that line is at the first sign of flakery.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:50 AM GMT
    I interpreted the title of this thread to mean "Playing intensely in order to gain access to the internet"...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:56 AM GMT
    They probably have lives, dude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 12:58 AM GMT
    I sincerely doubt that anyone here, who comments on random ppl's issues on a forum, have "lives". We're all creeps, just admit it!

    Though with a hidden profile I do have the luxury of not needing to lie icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 1:02 AM GMT
    Chatting is about feeling a person out and seeing if you actually want to chat again. Maybe they just didn't want to chat again with you. Or maybe they found their trick for the night and you got lost in the list of IMs/Emails. A lot of maybes to think about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 1:02 AM GMT
    flyingdiamond saidI interpreted the title of this thread to mean "Playing intensely in order to gain access to the internet"...


    Ha, I did too the first three times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    Damn you all, fine I updated the title and added hyphens!

    Integrity11 saidChatting is about feeling a person out and seeing if you actually want to chat again. Maybe they just didn't want to chat again with you. Or maybe they found their trick for the night and you got lost in the list of IMs/Emails. A lot of maybes to think about.


    Ew
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2013 8:41 PM GMT
    The best thing to do when you have this issue is leave them alone, Dont text them, do something else, even find someone else to talk to if possible. Because sooner or later they will message/text you back, and when they do you can either

    (a) Not respond at all.

    or

    (b) Let them know thet you're not interested in in flakes or " fuck buddies " and then block them icon_smile.gif.