Please, need an advice.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 6:10 AM GMT
    Hi,

    I have been friend with someone and I am really attracted to him, he seem to be perfect guy who I always wanted in my life, we have amazing chemistry together, so one day I tried asking him out and things didn't turn out well. But we talk and hung out after that and then after weeks we again became close friends, we share almost everything between us. Now I am really confused what exactly is this between us, could anyone in here please help me out see things in right way.

    Would appreciate help!

    Thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 6:29 AM GMT
    Looks like you two need to have "the talk". Ask him and find out.
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    Jan 14, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    thanks for reply!

    We had a talk first time about this and he said he is not into me and he wants me to be his friend but I feel like he is in a denial and I really don't want to ask him again, in short I can see he expects everything from me like a boyfriend.
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    Jan 14, 2013 1:19 PM GMT
    beinggeek saidthanks for reply!

    We had a talk first time about this and he said he is not into me and he wants me to be his friend but I feel like he is in a denial and I really don't want to ask him again, in short I can see he expects everything from me like a boyfriend.


    He has already told you - HE IS NOT INTO YOU.

    How much clearer do you want him to be?

    I suggest that you move on. Keep him in the friend zone and get on with the rest of your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    Can I haz an advice too pls.
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Jan 14, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    he's "in denial"? in denial of what? his feelings for you? or his sexuality?

    in both cases, it seems clear that you're the one in denial. he said he wasn't interested so wether its because he doesn't have feelings for you or if its because he's straight the outcome stays the same. it's not going to happen. move on. just be friends. stop pushing the subject.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:07 PM GMT
    he's gay and yes denial in having feelings for me.... he's txt/chats 24x7 to me like a boyfriend, shares good and bad to me, basically our relations are boyfriend without sex.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    beinggeek saidhe's gay and yes denial in having feelings for me.... he's txt/chats 24x7 to me like a boyfriend, shares good and bad to me, basically our relations are boyfriend without sex.

    Hmmm....I disagree. Boyfriends would also be very romantic with each other, even without sex. You guys are not being romantic - you're being friends. There's a huge difference.
  • Puppymuncher

    Posts: 163

    Jan 14, 2013 5:13 PM GMT
    1. He's stated he has no romantic feeling for you.
    2. He treats you as a friend. A very close platonic friend, it seems, but platonic nonetheless.

    So it appears that all he wants from you is friendship. Telling him you like him is only going to make it more awkward for him and risk driving you guys further from each other.

    If you can be friends with him without feeling for him, good for you. But if you like him too much to simply be friends, then tell him that and avoid him until you do get over him.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 14, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    Do not mistake texting and chatting 24/7 to mean someone is interested in you.

    I have gay friends who I text on a frequent basis and we are strictly friends. Just because a guy is talking to you and you share a lot of things in common does not mean he is in to you. He seems though to be an awesome friend. I would try to let your feelings go and be happy with the relationship you already have with him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    If he already turned you down once, it means he has no romantic interest.
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    Jan 14, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    I think it is more of a lust since you are physically attracted to him and not about having a love relationship. Relax, let him be your friend if he wants to and let both of you see the spark after developing or if he is not into you then let him fly away. If he realizes and comes back, then he is ready. Don't be a selfish man owing even his emotion. Let him fly or let your friendship begins. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 14, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    MidwesternKid saidDo not mistake texting and chatting 24/7 to mean someone is interested in you.

    I have gay friends who I text on a frequent basis and we are strictly friends. Just because a guy is talking to you and you share a lot of things in common does not mean he is in to you. He seems though to be an awesome friend. I would try to let your feelings go and be happy with the relationship you already have with him.


    Agreed. I don't want to be mean. But if you look at some boys' relationship with so-called 'fag hags', you can see the similarities and I am pretty sure these boys are not into them.
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    Jan 14, 2013 11:26 PM GMT
    beinggeek saidthanks for reply!

    We had a talk first time about this and he said he is not into me and he wants me to be his friend but I feel like he is in a denial and I really don't want to ask him again, in short I can see he expects everything from me like a boyfriend.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 14, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    You are just obsessed with the guy and want to believe that he has romantic feelings for you when he doesn't.

    YOU are in denial.

    And also, what's the point in asking for advice, when you aren't willing to accept any of it? Once again, that is the basis for being in denial.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jan 15, 2013 2:13 AM GMT
    Why do young people not know how to talk to each other? Oh, duh. the internet.

    Stare into his eyes and tell him how you feel about him. Your history together will grow from that. He will either love you or kill you.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 15, 2013 2:21 AM GMT
    it seems he is not that into you buddy. i say you tell him how you feel and if he does not feel the same way as you. then you have a decision to make about your current relationship. my advice is that you sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel. if he does not feel the same way than you probably need to give yourself some space until you can come to terms with your feelings
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    Jan 15, 2013 2:26 AM GMT
    beinggeek saidHi,

    I have been friend with someone and I am really attracted to him, he seem to be perfect guy who I always wanted in my life, we have amazing chemistry together, so one day I tried asking him out and things didn't turn out well. But we talk and hung out after that and then after weeks we again became close friends, we share almost everything between us. Now I am really confused what exactly is this between us, could anyone in here please help me out see things in right way.

    Would appreciate help!

    Thanks.
    Stop hitting on your straight mates. Let them love you as a friend, or make them hate you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 15, 2013 4:01 AM GMT
    ok let me be clear he also flirt and teases me, and whenever we have talk we have very sensible talk which includes planning vacation, doing things together, decision making, asking opinion, looking after each other etc
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    Jan 15, 2013 5:24 AM GMT
    beinggeek saidok let me be clear he also flirt and teases me, and whenever we have talk we have very sensible talk which includes planning vacation, doing things together, decision making, asking opinion, looking after each other etc


    ..but is it romantic like lovers do? I think not. icon_wink.gif

    You need to respect his decision and feelings that he does NOT feel the same way about you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 15, 2013 5:37 AM GMT
    He's "in denial" over having romantic feelings for you? I mean this in a constructive way - but I think You're actually in denial.

    Some guys struggle with having healthy gay friendships. This is the #1 cause of gay friendship mortalities. Don't lose a great friend b/c you can't accept and respect that this guy really likes your companionship, but not your penis.
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    Jan 15, 2013 5:40 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou are just obsessed with the guy and want to believe that he has romantic feelings for you when he doesn't.

    YOU are in denial.

    And also, what's the point in asking for advice, when you aren't willing to accept any of it? Once again, that is the basis for being in denial.


    Like that crazy chick from that Beyonce movie

    obsessed_6_1024.jpg