young gays and the gay community

  • springhealer

    Posts: 18

    Jan 14, 2013 8:34 AM GMT
    i met few very young gay gays who were very offended of the idea od a gay community, they wanted to be different and told me that the this kind of culture is something old fashioned and irrelevant to them.

    what is your opinion? do u think gay community was something born as a social necessity in the times when being gay was harder then today?, and as society advance is becoming less and less relevant?
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Jan 14, 2013 11:07 AM GMT
    It works well if the gay dudes like each other and can get along.

    however, what usually happens is there is A LOT of in-fighting. Bitchy queens get nasty to each other, and turn on their own kind. I stay away from the average gay bar because a lot of time it's just drama, emotional bullying and name-calling.

    If the gay guys can band together and realize 'the common enemy is heteronormativity and straight people only wanting straights to exist' - then a lot will get accomplished.

    But gays are frequently their own worst enemy.

    OH - gay community works good if there are gay guys in political power. That doesn't have much to do with gay, but it isn't ignored either. If there are a lot of gay mayors and gay public figure heads and stuff. And gay school presidents etc- then that is usually a great place for gays.

    If it's a gay-themed place for no other reason than 'gay-themed place' it tends to backfire. You basically get a lot of feminine-types who hate being feminine and take out their hatred around other feminine types. And they just act drunk, catty and nasty and fight a lot on internet chat rooms or in bars. And uh basically, everybody gets AIDS and pretty much dies.
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    Jan 14, 2013 11:10 AM GMT
    thegaymessiah saidAnd uh basically, everybody gets AIDS and pretty much dies.
    That escalated quickly.
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Jan 14, 2013 11:20 AM GMT
    Doesn't happen all at once, but the seeds of hatred spread.

    Both figuratively and literally. icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 14, 2013 11:25 AM GMT
    I'm assuming when you say the "old gay culture," you are referring to the flashier gay communities.If you aren't, please don't be offended by below icon_confused.gif

    During the racial civil rights movement there were two different camps, non-violent protest and "active" protest (think MLK versus Malcolm X). Two different ideologies and methods. While MLK wanted racial integration, Malcolm X advocated further racial segregation to the point of violent succession. But they all wanted the same thing, the raise the status of African Americans in North America.

    Some gay individuals are not the type of be found at Gay Pride. They will be found in sports bars. There are some gay men who abhor the "queens" of the gay community, as they feel they alienate the general population of what it really means to be a homosexual, similar to how many black people abhorred those that followed Malcolm X's teachings, as they felt followers alienated non-whites from what black people really are.

    This is just a basic analogy, I'm in no way insinuating that there are militant gays who seek succession in America icon_neutral.gif I'm neutral on the subject, I don't really care so much about macho versus feminine men. But notice the amount of men who say things like "No fems," "I'm into real men." There is clearly some sort of bias.

    A softer and nicer way of saying this would be, some people seek a more moderate view of homosexual acceptance, not so much the radical and extravagant ones.

    If anyone took offense to any of the above, sorry, English is not my first language >_>
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    Jan 14, 2013 1:03 PM GMT
    My thoughts exactly, and though the kid is probably gunna get forum railed for his comments...his escalating story made me laugh at 7am.

    McQueen said
    thegaymessiah saidAnd uh basically, everybody gets AIDS and pretty much dies.
    That escalated quickly.
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    Jan 14, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    GregJorn saidI'm assuming when you say the "old gay culture," you are referring to the flashier gay communities.If you aren't, please don't be offended by below icon_confused.gif

    During the racial civil rights movement there were two different camps, non-violent protest and "active" protest (think MLK versus Malcolm X). Two different ideologies and methods. While MLK wanted racial integration, Malcolm X advocated further racial segregation to the point of violent succession. But they all wanted the same thing, the raise the status of African Americans in North America.

    Some gay individuals are not the type of be found at Gay Pride. They will be found in sports bars. There are some gay men who abhor the "queens" of the gay community, as they feel they alienate the general population of what it really means to be a homosexual, similar to how many black people abhorred those that followed Malcolm X's teachings, as they felt followers alienated non-whites from what black people really are.

    This is just a basic analogy, I'm in no way insinuating that there are militant gays who seek succession in America icon_neutral.gif I'm neutral on the subject, I don't really care so much about macho versus feminine men. But notice the amount of men who say things like "No fems," "I'm into real men." There is clearly some sort of bias.

    A softer and nicer way of saying this would be, some people seek a more moderate view of homosexual acceptance, not so much the radical and extravagant ones.

    If anyone took offense to any of the above, sorry, English is not my first language >_>


    Its kind of like this. I lived in the Stro for a while, and I found it mostly worked as a sanctuary to those who ran away from home or never wanted to grow up. It is a culture that values thinks like looking hot, being hot, getting trashed til you go into rehab then bitchen about the people who get trashed.

    It served its purpose, much like High School, and I found that I was going to the East Bay to hang out with my straight friends every weekend, so it isnt what it was worked up to be.

    The best we can do is live the life we want where we want without worrying if people are gay. Most of the haters we have just dont have the proper exposure to gay men, to know that we are normal, and the more we can do to integrate to society the better off we will all be.

    Just my 2 cents.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 14, 2013 3:05 PM GMT
    thegaymessiah saidIt works well if the gay dudes like each other and can get along.

    however, what usually happens is there is A LOT of in-fighting. Bitchy queens get nasty to each other, and turn on their own kind. I stay away from the average gay bar because a lot of time it's just drama, emotional bullying and name-calling.

    If the gay guys can band together and realize 'the common enemy is heteronormativity and straight people only wanting straights to exist' - then a lot will get accomplished.

    But gays are frequently their own worst enemy.

    OH - gay community works good if there are gay guys in political power. That doesn't have much to do with gay, but it isn't ignored either. If there are a lot of gay mayors and gay public figure heads and stuff. And gay school presidents etc- then that is usually a great place for gays.

    If it's a gay-themed place for no other reason than 'gay-themed place' it tends to backfire. You basically get a lot of feminine-types who hate being feminine and take out their hatred around other feminine types. And they just act drunk, catty and nasty and fight a lot on internet chat rooms or in bars. And uh basically, everybody gets AIDS and pretty much dies.


    I hate this post. You sound bitter, jealous and wrong. Please, change your username and get educated before you preach.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jan 14, 2013 3:08 PM GMT
    I think young gay men as a general are offended way too often. I find that offensive.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Jan 14, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    People toss around the word "community" too much....

    I am gay. You're gay.

    ok. ?


    that's it.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Jan 14, 2013 3:27 PM GMT
    I can see their point . . .
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 14, 2013 3:30 PM GMT
    If history repeats itself, we will likely face persecution again. Some of us will try to save our own skin, by taking a step back into the closet, where they will self-persecute. Others will simply die fighting, or be killed. I'm one of the latter.

    I think it's important that we respect the gay community, otherwise no one else will.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:36 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidIf history repeats itself, we will likely face persecution again. Some of us will try to save our own skin, by taking a step back into the closet, where they will self-persecute. Others will simply die fighting, or be killed. I'm one of the latter.

    I think it's important that we respect the gay community, otherwise no one else will.


    Some folks on this board do this now.

    To the extent that the argument is, we don't have to be exactly LIKE every other gay man, we're individuals, I see the argument. But completely rejecting any connection to other gay people, at least until the world consistently starts viewing being gay as a complete nonissue, is a mistake. (And perhaps even thereafter - gay men aren't exactly like lesbians aren't exactly like straight men aren't exactly like straight women - others who share that characteristic often can give better advice to you than can someone who doesn't.)
  • dchot

    Posts: 21

    Jan 14, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    without this old fashion gay community the young would not have their bars or their freedoms, They would be back at the truck stops and parks. Hauling their little asses out of jail due to the bar they were in last night getting raided.

    Without this gay community what few rights we have are going to be taken away and the religious gay haters will push you back into the closet..

    So to the young, this community has been lead by some of us for many years now it is your turn. If you do not take up the fight and work together then what we have will be lost.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:46 PM GMT

    In a moment of profound irony, someone posts about 'the gay community', thought by some to be redundant and awful. Others post with a couple of posts saying yeah it's awful etc........

    ......and they do this on a gay site which is a gay community. icon_wink.gif

    *not sure whether to laugh or facepalm*
  • dchot

    Posts: 21

    Jan 14, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREQUOTE GOES HERE


    what point? lets let the gay haters win. Or do we stand together as independent gay men and fight for the right to be who we are as individuals.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 14, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    dchot said without this old fashion gay community the young would not have their bars or their freedoms, They would be back at the truck stops and parks. Hauling their little asses out of jail due to the bar they were in last night getting raided.

    Without this gay community what few rights we have are going to be taken away and the religious gay haters will push you back into the closet..

    So to the young, this community has been lead by some of us for many years now it is your turn. If you do not take up the fight and work together then what we have will be lost.


    Reminds me of the Joni Mitchell lyrics, "On and on it seems to go, but you don't know what you got til it's gone..."
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:50 PM GMT
    thegaymessiah saidIt works well if the gay dudes like each other and can get along.

    however, what usually happens is there is A LOT of in-fighting. Bitchy queens get nasty to each other, and turn on their own kind. I stay away from the average gay bar because a lot of time it's just drama, emotional bullying and name-calling.

    If the gay guys can band together and realize 'the common enemy is heteronormativity and straight people only wanting straights to exist' - then a lot will get accomplished.

    But gays are frequently their own worst enemy.

    OH - gay community works good if there are gay guys in political power. That doesn't have much to do with gay, but it isn't ignored either. If there are a lot of gay mayors and gay public figure heads and stuff. And gay school presidents etc- then that is usually a great place for gays.

    If it's a gay-themed place for no other reason than 'gay-themed place' it tends to backfire. You basically get a lot of feminine-types who hate being feminine and take out their hatred around other feminine types. And they just act drunk, catty and nasty and fight a lot on internet chat rooms or in bars. And uh basically, everybody gets AIDS and pretty much dies.


    You really need to get out more to different kinds of places and meet a broader cross-section of gay people. This stereotypical characterization of gay men is not only ridiculous, it's offensive. I've been fighting this shit my entire life from straight people, don't need it from other gay guys.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 14, 2013 3:55 PM GMT
    I think there certainly is a place for a "gay community". It means more to some, less for others, but it is a way for many to "identify" and there is a logical reason for it.. especially for political purposes. Some cities have a rather pronouced and involved "community", other cities less so. I think if there wasn't one, we would be doing ourselves a disservice.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jan 14, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI think there certainly is a place for a "gay community". It means more to some, less for others, but it is a way for many to "identify" and there is a logical reason for it.. especially for political purposes. Some cities have a rather pronouced and involved "community", other cities less so. I think if there wasn't one, we would be doing ourselves a disservice.


    There is a gay community. I believe it's called South Beach or something...
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jan 14, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    In a moment of profound irony, someone posts about 'the gay community', thought by some to be redundant and awful. Others post with a couple of posts saying yeah it's awful etc........

    ......and they do this on a gay site which is a gay community. icon_wink.gif

    *not sure whether to laugh or facepalm*


    why not do both?

    I'd just dejectedly sigh and smile about the mess it is.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    Medjai said
    HndsmKansan saidI think there certainly is a place for a "gay community". It means more to some, less for others, but it is a way for many to "identify" and there is a logical reason for it.. especially for political purposes. Some cities have a rather pronouced and involved "community", other cities less so. I think if there wasn't one, we would be doing ourselves a disservice.


    There is a gay community. I believe it's called South Beach or something...



    And there's a gay community called RJ or something. icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Medjai said
    HndsmKansan saidI think there certainly is a place for a "gay community". It means more to some, less for others, but it is a way for many to "identify" and there is a logical reason for it.. especially for political purposes. Some cities have a rather pronouced and involved "community", other cities less so. I think if there wasn't one, we would be doing ourselves a disservice.


    There is a gay community. I believe it's called South Beach or something...



    And there's a gay community called RJ or something. icon_lol.gif


    I thought it was called grindr... O_O
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    Bullwinklemoos said
    meninlove said
    Medjai said
    HndsmKansan saidI think there certainly is a place for a "gay community". It means more to some, less for others, but it is a way for many to "identify" and there is a logical reason for it.. especially for political purposes. Some cities have a rather pronouced and involved "community", other cities less so. I think if there wasn't one, we would be doing ourselves a disservice.


    There is a gay community. I believe it's called South Beach or something...



    And there's a gay community called RJ or something. icon_lol.gif


    I thought it was called grindr... O_O


    Different gay community. icon_wink.gif There are many, both online and out in fleshland. The best part is being able to find the one that fits you best, something we never had when young unless you got on a plane, or moved.
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    *not sure whether to laugh or facepalm*


    A more profound question than the one posted by OP himself. Well done Sir!