Getting dumped and discover all the lies behind.

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    Jan 14, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    So I met this beautiful Swedish guy last year, when I was working in Stockholm. Then I came back to Italy, and long story short, after Xmas we decided to break up.
    I am ok with the whole break-up thing. Not seeing the person you love for more than 3 months kills any relationship.
    The thing is: he breaks up WITH A TEXT MESSAGE, he avoids any kind of contact other that facebook, and then he sends me a message in which he tells me that he feels like a shit and he's thinking about me.
    Then I find out he's in a relationship with a guy he met in October.
    He already did the same with his past boyfriend.

    How do I get over such a shitty person? Should i tell the new guy what he's getting into?
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    Jan 14, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    Of course you should tell the new lover, and his family, his co-workers and everyone else in the world. WTF are you thinking? Walk away. Close the door and forget about him. Wow.
    By the way, when you are wondering why he might have broken up with you, re-read you post and wonder about the psychotic nature of your actions, may have had something to do with it. People break up all the time, with a text, a letter, a punch in the eye, or without any communication. It's a break up, there is never a nice way to do it. Get over it.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:03 PM GMT

    "I am ok with the whole break-up thing. Not seeing the person you love for more than 3 months kills any relationship."

    Well, you're wrong about the 3 month thing. If you were OK with breaking up I'm not sure why the way it happened would bother you so much.
    What I'm getting from this is that the breakup DID bother you, very much so.
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    it bothers me the way it happened. we shared a year. we lived together. we talked everyday. he had plenty of occasions to tell me "look, this is not working, this is not what i want". he ultimately did, and as much as i'm suffering for it, i know he's right and i accept it.
    but finding out that in the meantime he started another relationship, while claiming he's still so madly sad and bothered about what's left of our relationship, makes me think a lot.
    we broke up two weeks ago, and on thursday he sends me the message of how sad he is, and today he's ready to start a relationship??please...
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:54 PM GMT
    italianmisarc saidit bothers me the way it happened. we shared a year. we lived together. we talked everyday. he had plenty of occasions to tell me "look, this is not working, this is not what i want". he ultimately did, and as much as i'm suffering for it, i know he's right and i accept it.
    but finding out that in the meantime he started another relationship, while claiming he's still so madly sad and bothered about what's left of our relationship, makes me think a lot.
    we broke up two weeks ago, and on thursday he sends me the message of how sad he is, and today he's ready to start a relationship??please...


    See the bold? That is your key for suffering less. He's obviously not the kind of man you'd want to spend a lifetime with, right?
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    Jan 14, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    you are definitely right, and rationally, i know that's the best that could happen to end it and never look back.
    but still, it's not that easy to leave love and anger aside. that's why i wanted to tell the new boyfriend, because it seems like there's a pattern in his way of managing relationships, and it's not fair. he's 35, so not a baby boy.
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:02 PM GMT
    italianmisarc saidyou are definitely right, and rationally, i know that's the best that could happen to end it and never look back.
    but still, it's not that easy to leave love and anger aside. that's why i wanted to tell the new boyfriend, because it seems like there's a pattern in his way of managing relationships, and it's not fair. he's 35, so not a baby boy.


    Well I understand, but let me explain something. Imagine how you felt when you guys were new.
    Remember how that was?

    All headily full of love and happiness.
    Now someone who is his ex comes along and tries to tell you he's no good. I think you wouldn't believe them and would suspect the ex was trying to sabotage your relationship.

    Do think about this, OK?

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    Jan 14, 2013 4:08 PM GMT
    definitely right.
    i'm not really thinking straiht right now.
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:15 PM GMT
    italianmisarc saiddefinitely right.
    i'm not really thinking straiht right now.


    I'm not at all surprised; you must feel hurty and betrayed and that perhaps it was all fake. That's enough to scramble a person's logic rather efficiently.

    Here's a hug, and now you really know what you'd never do to someone else, having been on the receiving end. icon_wink.gif

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    Jan 14, 2013 4:17 PM GMT
    thx dude.
    i really appreciate icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:21 PM GMT
    italianmisarc saidthx dude.
    i really appreciate icon_smile.gif


    You're welcome, and you've been speaking with Doug (the guy in the pic with the hat). icon_wink.gif