Do I like girls too? And if so, what's going on?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    Ok, so i've come to most people as gay. But sometimes I think girls are really nice and think about dating them. But whenever I get to be sexual with a girl it's really...I don't know. It doesn't feel right and there's something major missing.

    Like even kissing a girl feels bland. This doesn't happen with guys at all but if i'm gay why do I have these thoughts? Am I fooling myself?
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Jan 14, 2013 6:12 PM GMT
    I met a girl at work recently that I really like. As a friend only, though. I have thought to myself that if I were straight I would certainly date her. She's pretty and funny and a pleasure to be around. I don't find it confusing at all. I know where I stand with her. People will always be attracted to other people, for reasons other than sexual or romantic interests.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 14, 2013 6:18 PM GMT
    Maybe you desire girls as friends, but you haven't been friends with enough of them to understand where it's coming from. I love girls. And I like the way a gorgeous woman looks. As a child, Madonna's cleavage was titillating to me, but it wasn't in a sexual way, per say. I was turned on by the way certain women can be empowered by their sexuality. That's probably fairly common among gay men, though I don't know if there's been a thread on it yet, lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2013 6:23 PM GMT
    TheOmegaMan saidOk, so i've come to most people as gay. But sometimes I think girls are really nice and think about dating them. But whenever I get to be sexual with a girl it's really...I don't know. It doesn't feel right and there's something major missing.

    Like even kissing a girl feels bland. This doesn't happen with guys at all but if i'm gay why do I have these thoughts? Am I fooling myself?


    There is the chance that you might see things in women you admire. I can find women attractive in a non sexual way. I admire their sensuality and I wish I could be like them.

    There is also the possibility your desire to date them is probably an inner longing to cling onto to your closeted status and conform to mainstream ideals.
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    Jan 14, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    You are gay...you are not attracted to women sexually and when you kiss them you are the least bit interested (at least that is what is sounds like). Like HotJoe has said it seems you desire women as friends. Do you have a lot of women as friends? Do you connect more with women? Or do you think there are qualities in these women that you wish you can find in your dream guy? But no it does not sound like you like girls in a sexual way.

    I, am Bisexual myself. When I am with a girl it is amazing...when Im with a guy it is also amazing. Both just seem right to me when I am with one or the other.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 14, 2013 7:57 PM GMT
    I am gay but I often find myself very attracted to women, but find sex with them very bland. I have a lot of women friends and am especially drawn to women with strong personalities. (The kind of woman many straight men find intimidating.) I was in a 10 year relationship with a woman from age 25 to 35. We're still best friends. The primary reason the relationship didn't work was the sex.

    So, yeah, it can be a bit confusing except for the sexual part. I *admire* certain women, maybe even *adore* them. I can have the same feelings toward some men I find attractive. The difference is the "lust factor". Men turn me on, women don't and that's the bottom line.