The word "queer". Do you like it or hate it?

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    Jan 15, 2013 7:40 AM GMT
    I can't stand it. The word means different or odd as well as spoiled or ruined. There is nothing wrong with me and I'm no different, better, or worse than anyone else. If you want a fight call me a queer. I don't give a shit if you are gay or not yourself. Same thing about the word faggot or fag. I find it unacceptable to toss that word around even if it is a homosexual using the word.

    We don't need to set ourselves apart if we are fighting for equality. We are just like everyone else, we have the same goals and aspirations as well as the ability to contribute. When call ourselves queers and faggots we are labeling ourselves as something completely separate from the rest of society.

    We are men and women: parents, children, brothers, sisters, friends, and coworkers. If we can't treat ourselves with respect how can we expect anyone to respect us?
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    Jan 15, 2013 7:59 AM GMT
    Gay men aren't the only queer people. Queer is a term that covers all branches of sexual orientation and includes transgendered people as well. It doesn't mean "spoiled" or "ruined" but it does mean different. The idea is that you are different than boring heteronormative people and there's nothing wrong with using that term.
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    Jan 15, 2013 8:13 AM GMT
    FatFranklin said
    We don't need to set ourselves apart if we are fighting for equality.


    American Revolution (from UK)
    Hungarian Revolution (from Austria)
    Indian Unification (from UK)
    Woman's Suffrage
    Civil Rights Movement

    A lot of the events that lead up to equality are very similar to nationalistic movements. Nationalism means setting yourself apart from others. While I'm not suggesting that "queer" individuals fight an armed revolution icon_confused.gif a lot of the actions that you would do to fight oppressive policies are the same as if you were trying to strengthen your people... usually through identifying yourself as a collective and unique power. Strength in numbers. Gay pride is basically a revolt against current societal norms icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 15, 2013 8:19 AM GMT
    I have nothing against the word in general but I don't like it in reference to myself. When I hear the word queer I automatically think of people who are either gender-bending, androgynous or super flamboyant and who make it a point to try and stick out from the norm. That's fine, but its not me and I don't like when it's used to refer to all lgbt people.
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    Jan 15, 2013 8:22 AM GMT
    Cardinal724 saidI have nothing against the word in general but I don't like it in reference to myself. When I hear the word queer I automatically think of people who are either gender-bending, androgynous or super flamboyant and who make it a point to try and stick out from the norm. That's fine, but its not me and I don't like when it's used to refer to all lgbt people.
    As I said, it's an umbrella term. You're queer because you're not heterosexual, it's as simple as that. The term does not have any positive or negative connotations attached to it.
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    Jan 15, 2013 8:28 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidI have nothing against the word in general but I don't like it in reference to myself. When I hear the word queer I automatically think of people who are either gender-bending, androgynous or super flamboyant and who make it a point to try and stick out from the norm. That's fine, but its not me and I don't like when it's used to refer to all lgbt people.
    As I said, it's an umbrella term. You're queer because you're not heterosexual, it's as simple as that. The term does not have any positive or negative connotations attached to it.


    I don't agree with that. The term 'queer' is loaded. It's not neutral as you say, which is why lgbt activists have latched onto the term recently. A guy can still be gay and be "one of the guys." A guy can't be queer and still be "one of the guys." Calling yourself queer means you are purposefully trying to set yourself apart from mainstream society and don't want to "integrate" so to speak.
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    Jan 15, 2013 8:42 AM GMT
    Cardinal724 said
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidI have nothing against the word in general but I don't like it in reference to myself. When I hear the word queer I automatically think of people who are either gender-bending, androgynous or super flamboyant and who make it a point to try and stick out from the norm. That's fine, but its not me and I don't like when it's used to refer to all lgbt people.
    As I said, it's an umbrella term. You're queer because you're not heterosexual, it's as simple as that. The term does not have any positive or negative connotations attached to it.
    I don't agree with that. The term 'queer' is loaded. It's not neutral as you say, which is why lgbt activists have latched onto the term recently. A guy can still be gay and be "one of the guys." A guy can't be queer and still be "one of the guys." Calling yourself queer means you are purposefully trying to set yourself apart from mainstream society and don't want to "integrate" so to speak.
    Queer is an umbrella term. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc. fall under that umbrella.
    How does calling yourself gay not seperate you from "mainstream society" (aka heterosexuals) yet calling yourself queer does?
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    Jan 15, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 said
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidI have nothing against the word in general but I don't like it in reference to myself. When I hear the word queer I automatically think of people who are either gender-bending, androgynous or super flamboyant and who make it a point to try and stick out from the norm. That's fine, but its not me and I don't like when it's used to refer to all lgbt people.
    As I said, it's an umbrella term. You're queer because you're not heterosexual, it's as simple as that. The term does not have any positive or negative connotations attached to it.
    I don't agree with that. The term 'queer' is loaded. It's not neutral as you say, which is why lgbt activists have latched onto the term recently. A guy can still be gay and be "one of the guys." A guy can't be queer and still be "one of the guys." Calling yourself queer means you are purposefully trying to set yourself apart from mainstream society and don't want to "integrate" so to speak.
    Queer is an umbrella term. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc. fall under that umbrella.
    How does calling yourself gay not seperate you from "mainstream society" (aka heterosexuals) yet calling yourself queer does?


    I'm not saying that calling yourself queer in and of itself separates you from mainstream society, but it is the people who choose to use the queer label who are pushing this idea of separatism and therefore by accepting the queer label you are implicitly counting yourself amongst members of that group.

    I believe the word queer has more to do with gender identity/expression than it has to do with just sexual orientation. Have you heard the term "queer heterosexuality"? - It refers to gender non-conforming heterosexuals. Queer refers to a rejection of mainstream norms and expectations which is why I do not consider myself queer. I am just a guy who happens to like guys and therefore am homosexual - but I have no desire to separate myself from my heterosexual peers. I do all the things they do and have the same expectations in life: Marry, have kids, etc. I also am quite comfortable in my male-identified gender. My gender identity matches up perfectly with my biological sex - so again, the word queer does not describe me.

    Here's an article by a gay Yale student who feels similarly to myself: http://igfculturewatch.com/2006/02/14/young-out-and-gaynot-queer/

    Queer is not simply an umbrella term and there are many others out there like me who feel similarly.
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:02 AM GMT
    Ok I guess I see what you're saying.

    but just so you know, being "one of the guys" means
    tumblr_mb2uc2W9TA1r200r0.gif
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:07 AM GMT
    McQueen saidOk I guess I see what you're saying.

    but just so you know, being "one of the guys" means
    tumblr_mb2uc2W9TA1r200r0.gif



    Well if you're standard for determining who's "basic" and who's "interesting" is based on one's gender identity and rejection of mainstream norms, then that's a pretty shallow standard. Ask me about my interests, hobbies, intellectual pursuits and life goals before labelling me as "basic" icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:15 AM GMT
    Cardinal724 saidWell if you're standard for determining who's "basic" and who's "interesting" is based on one's gender identity and rejection of mainstream norms, then that's a pretty shallow standard. Ask me about my interests, hobbies, intellectual pursuits and life goals before labelling me as "basic" icon_rolleyes.gif
    Let me guess, you're interested in drinking beer and watching sports, you enjoy going to the pub, you're not very smart and your life goal is to get married, have kids, and retire with a decent amount of money.

    That's what us queers think when somebody says "I'm just one of the derps".
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:20 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidWell if you're standard for determining who's "basic" and who's "interesting" is based on one's gender identity and rejection of mainstream norms, then that's a pretty shallow standard. Ask me about my interests, hobbies, intellectual pursuits and life goals before labelling me as "basic" icon_rolleyes.gif
    Let me guess, you're interested in drinking beer and watching sports, you enjoy going to the pub, you're not very smart and your life goal is to get married, have kids, and retire with a decent amount of money.

    That's what us queers think when somebody says "I'm just one of the derps".



    Because well all know intelligence and creativity are directly correlated with your level of queerness. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:26 AM GMT
    Cardinal724 saidBecause well all know intelligence and creativity are directly correlated with your level of queerness. icon_rolleyes.gif
    Yes.
    Intelligent heterosexual men are a minority. Intelligent homosexual men are everywhere.
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:26 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidBecause well all know intelligence and creativity are directly correlated with your level of queerness. icon_rolleyes.gif
    Yes.
    Intelligent heterosexual men are a minority. Intelligent homosexual men are everywhere.


    You're confusing homosexual with queer again.
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:38 AM GMT
    Cardinal724 said
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidBecause well all know intelligence and creativity are directly correlated with your level of queerness. icon_rolleyes.gif
    Yes.
    Intelligent heterosexual men are a minority. Intelligent homosexual men are everywhere.
    You're confusing homosexual with queer again.
    Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. "Str8-acting" homosexuals are mostly fucking stupid.
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:39 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 said
    McQueen said
    Cardinal724 saidBecause well all know intelligence and creativity are directly correlated with your level of queerness. icon_rolleyes.gif
    Yes.
    Intelligent heterosexual men are a minority. Intelligent homosexual men are everywhere.
    You're confusing homosexual with queer again.
    Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. "Str8-acting" homosexuals are mostly fucking stupid.


    What an intelligent post from an equally intelligent person.
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    Jan 15, 2013 9:49 AM GMT
    Cardinal724 saidWhat an intelligent post from an equally intelligent person.
    I'm smart but cynical I hate most people and for some reason I'm having a bad day so I'm taking it out on you because you're a heteronormative fuck face.
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    Jan 15, 2013 10:26 AM GMT
    McQueenLet me guess, you're interested in drinking beer and watching sports, you enjoy going to the pub, you're not very smart and your life goal is to get married, have kids, and retire with a decent amount of money.

    That's what us queers think when somebody says "I'm just one of the derps".



    Your entire argument went to shit when you decided to offer this little gem as part of your argument.

    In all honesty no two people are exactly alike so we are all queer. Think before you speak.
  • TheAlchemixt

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    Jan 15, 2013 10:28 AM GMT
    I can see your point and how it could classify us as being different. The word queer however really doesn't affect me in a negative or positive way however.
  • Matthew_k

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    Jan 15, 2013 11:11 AM GMT
    Mainly depends on the tone.
    If the speakers are being malicious, I'll beat the icon_smile.gif out of them even if they call me a homosexual guy.

    Friendly mockery is okay with me. I'll anyway answer back with "straight arse"
    But these irritating words had better not be used lol



    By the way, every time the word "queer" is mentioned, I couldn't help but to think of the hot gay show Queer As Folk.
    Blimey, I love that.
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    Jan 15, 2013 12:28 PM GMT
    Queer has always been an identity that you can choose to use to express political engagement. It's radical because it confronts mainstream heterosexual society and questions its supremacy. There have always been two strands to gay politics: those who want to "fit in" the legitimationists and those who want freedom, the liberationists.

    As a gay supremacist, I use queer and I'm very much on the liberationist side. I think the mainstream heterosexual society is degenerate, hypocritical and not worth emulating. But I also recognize (and most people don't, I think) that paradoxically both views were necessary to liberation. Without the liberationists, lgbt issues would never have shown up on the radar of the public, without legitimationists nothing would ever likely have got done politically.

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    Jan 15, 2013 12:43 PM GMT
    FatFranklin saidYour entire argument went to shit when you decided to offer this little gem as part of your argument.
    In all honesty no two people are exactly alike so we are all queer. Think before you speak.
    The point is that you are a man that likes other men.
    Non-queer men like vagina exclusively.
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    Jan 15, 2013 12:45 PM GMT
    TheAlchemixt saidI can see your point and how it could classify us as being different. The word queer however really doesn't affect me in a negative or positive way however.
    My point exactly.
    Faggot has obvious reasons for being despised, it's basically like calling a black person a nigger, but queer is not the same at all so why the fuck are these basic bitches so uptight about it?
  • sollasollewmn

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    Jan 15, 2013 1:06 PM GMT
    Well, technically, gay means happy. :-)

    Historically, when we seek to subjugate a particular class of people, we co-opt existing words and pervert the meaning so as to make it bad. ("Retarded", liteally speaking, means slow, but the connotation after a century of mis-use has made it an unpleasant term for someone with developmental disabilities.)

    So, gay became a 'bad" term when people who wanted to humiliate and degrade homosexuals started using it thusly. The most obvious solution for a group at the business end of a mis-used word is to embrace it and accept it. That takes away the word's power. "You want to call me 'gay?' Fine. I'm gay." Agreeing with your bully confuses the hell out of them.

    That said, trying to assimilate words like faggot and queer has been harder. It's like African-Americans trying to assimilate 'the N-word.' It's considered vile by many and some take the "I can use that word because I'm black but you can't because you're white" stance. (I'm not sure that stance works but whatever.) Similarly, I know gay men who feel that way about faggot (which, only in recent years, some equate with 'the N-word' to the point where some refuse to say it (the F-bomb).

    Personally, I don't like faggot or queer. Do I think we can empower ourselves by openly using the words and thus negating their power? Maybe. It seemed to work for gay. But I grew up in an environment when faggot and queer were the swearing equivalent of the N-word and they make me uncomfortable (faggot more so than queer). It could be that, given a few more decades of progressive acceptance, the words will become meaningless.

    I don't fault anyone who identifies as queer. I sort of wish we could coin a new term that was less cumbersome than homosexuality but also encompassed bisexuality or just the fluidity of sexuality in general. But "queer" is where the language is right now. The cool thing about language is that it evolves. Tomorrow, the Tea Party could decide that, henceforth, we're all to be called spunkmonkeys and that will be the new faggot. We're a funny bunch, with our language.
  • sollasollewmn

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    Jan 15, 2013 1:09 PM GMT
    One final thought: back in my young and impressionable days, I asked a gay activist why there was so much controversy among gays about what terms were acceptable. Some people thought queer was best, some people hated the word. I said something stupid like, "Why is it so hard for everyone to agree on a term?"

    He very calmly and politely said, "Because no one has ever given us the choice before. All the words to describe our sexuality were forced upon us by people trying to bring us down."

    Food for thought.