What happend to good 'Old fashioned Romance'???

  • naughtyboy55

    Posts: 20

    Jan 15, 2013 9:38 PM GMT
    What happend to Romance like in those books of literature that that spans centuries written by great men!
    why dont people send flowers anymore? to show you're interested?
    why aren't people romantic?
    signs of attraction and rejection are soooo subtle to the point of non-existence and yet also so brash and 'in-your-face!
    some guys are so brash when they give off signs that they like you that it makes me feel like a piece of 'meat' to be devoured! which turns me off and gives me the 'creeps', yet some guys you know are attracted to you but give off such subtle signs that the are practically unnoticed!
    yet rejection is sooo confidently done as if purposely to humiliate you!
    What happend?......have we lost the 'talent' to decently 'woo' a person?
    icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 15, 2013 10:42 PM GMT
    "Old fashioned romance" is exclusively hetero.

    The only reason "romance" was involved is because the women demand it.

    Men are generally less romantic by nature, and prefer to be up front when given the chance. Therefore, men coming onto men will naturally be less "romantic" and more "in your face" (except for the really subtle ones).

    If you want romance from a man, dress up in drag and hire a straight male prostitute. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    naughtyboy55 saidWhat happend to Romance like in those books of literature that that spans centuries written by great men!
    why dont people send flowers anymore? to show you're interested?
    why aren't people romantic?
    signs of attraction and rejection are soooo subtle to the point of non-existence and yet also so brash and 'in-your-face!
    some guys are so brash when they give off signs that they like you that it makes me feel like a piece of 'meat' to be devoured! which turns me off and gives me the 'creeps', yet some guys you know are attracted to you but give off such subtle signs that the are practically unnoticed!
    yet rejection is sooo confidently done as if purposely to humiliate you!
    What happend?......have we lost the 'talent' to decently 'woo' a person?
    icon_lol.gif


    goldilocks.png
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    Jan 16, 2013 2:46 AM GMT
    I think romance can seem artificial, because often times it is. It's a form of manipulation. When a guy that I first meet tries to impress me with gifts, sweet talk, intense flattery, or too much desire to connect, I don't perceive it as attractive. I often think that they are trying to convince me that they are worthy of my time. Trying to manipulate me into seeing just how "meant for each other" we are... blah... they don't even know me yet!

    I am most attracted to men who are upfront. Tell me that they think I am attractive. Men who are direct. Who tell me that they want to bed me even, because I turn their crank.

    In time, once a genuine bond has formed, and a guy knows who I am and the details of my person, then romance is greatly appreciated. It has to be HONEST romance. It has to come from a place inside of the guys heart that wants to make me feel good simply because he cares about seeing my face light up at the sight of flowers, or a card, or a romantic dinner.

    It's why hearing "I love you" right after sex is so great, because it's raw, and often times very honest.

    Basically, I've turned the image above into words.

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    Jan 16, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    Who says romance and straight talk are mutually exclusive?

    Gestures are nice, but coyness is definitely not appealing to me.

    It's an art to flirt and show affection, including speaking. You can do it without saying "me want fuck at you".

    People won't believe it but I was a total romantic when I was looking for love. I'd totally be the type to make little notes or surprise a guy when he got home with something nice. I serenaded a guy once over the phone icon_redface.gif.

  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jan 16, 2013 4:00 AM GMT
    In my experience Romance is that feeling you get when someone makes you feel good all inside!! it is not limited to flowers, candle light dinners, courtships, chocholate, going away an a getaway vacation in some exotic place, like a nice resort or Breakfast Inn!!

    My experience with it transcends all these "Money making" symbolisms of Romance. When I am on a date and I find a physical chemistry WITH an emotional connection with the date, that to me is Romance! there is no better definition of feeling good all inside then finding a physical and emotional bond with another human being. When someone accepts you just as you are, and when one try to understand instead of judging the intricacities of what makes someone special and unique, that to me is Romance! .
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    Jan 16, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    Who says going for a sweaty bike ride, or a couple of hours in the weight room, or a muddy wet hike, or taking apart a greasy old pickup engine, aren't romantic?
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jan 16, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    I also like to add that "SEX" that is correct "SEX" is the ultimate expression of Romance. Now now, not in the animalistic instinct kind of way! I think that humans as instinctually animalist as we are we are also rational beings! as rational beings when we want or have sex we also look for the need to feel loved, understood, caressed, cuddled, gently touched, and if you are lucky and the two of you experience all these needs simultaneously, alas, you are bonded by Romance!
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    Jan 16, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidWho says going for a sweaty bike ride, or a couple of hours in the weight room, or a muddy wet hike, or taking apart a greasy old pickup engine, aren't romantic?


    Yep, it depends on how each of you feel about whatever the gesture is. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 5:13 AM GMT
    tumblr_m4om7ehfj01qbbs8oo1_500.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 5:17 AM GMT
    Well, the overly flowery variant, all coy and reserved, is long gone. But there are those that romance, even if there is sexual undertone all the time. Hell, D and I do romantic things frequently... though it tends towards the culinary in our case, rather than flowers (but I've done the very occasional small bouquet, too).
  • imbrad

    Posts: 377

    Jan 16, 2013 6:00 AM GMT
    I feel that romance is often confused with gesture rather than relationship. Do not think of romance as being something that you do but rather something that you share.

    I had a wonderful date the other night (first great date since my breakup over a year ago). It was not extravigant in gesture but it was certainly romantic. He came over and we shared some simple food. I opened a bottle of wine and we TALKED for hours. Nothing grand happened to speak of but the romance was in the connection. The fact that we allowed ourselves to leave the smartphones out of the picture and listen to each other, find similar interests and some new perspectives is what made it a beautiful night. Eventually we fell asleep on the couch (clothes on) watching a movie. Granted this is not the first time I've met the guy so there is a bit of a foundation of friendship and, to some extent, trust; but it was quite romantic to know that the mutual goal was not a notch on the headboard but rather sharing quality time together.

    If you want romance you have to be willing to experience it with someone and that takes a level of vulnerability that can be uncomfortable for anybody. Flowers and cards and contrived "valentines" romance are not necessarily romantic. Putting effort into a shared experience is really the essense of romance and that takes time. You must know (or at least be able to make a good guess at) a persons taste, humor and interests and share something with them that says "I was listening" or "I appreciate this about you".

    Easy for someone who is crushing on a great guy to say but I understand the frustration certainly. I have spent a lot of my time working in gay bars/clubs and know what it feels like to be treated like a peice meat by horny drunks. When you meet someone worth sharing romance with you will know but the process up till that point can test your patience.

    Identify for yourself what romance might mean and BE the romantic that you want to meet. Also, know that you will always be treated like meat (sometimes that can be romantic too) but learn to be graceful when someone is acting in a way that just doesn't interest you. It might surprise you how quickly people will change around you if you maintain your poise and integrity.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jan 16, 2013 6:08 AM GMT
    JerseyJames75 has got it. I can't say much more that isn't already there.
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    Jan 16, 2013 6:14 AM GMT
    What is more romantic than anything is hearing your man tell you he loves you each day.The platinum and diamond engagement ring on my finger is pretty romantic too.icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 6:17 AM GMT
    Don't romance me...I fall for it every time...whisper sweet nothings in my ear and I am basically yours for the taking ....omg I find it extremely sexy when someone wooooes me... Luckily most men don't do that...messaging me COME OVER TO MY PLACE TONIGHT is not helping your situation.
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    Jan 16, 2013 6:21 AM GMT
    I LOVE old fashioned romance, and it's definitely biased because in many ways I'm old fashioned myself!
    Woohoo I'm not the only one icon_smile.gif

    You know I was thinking about it and maybe it was because for a time it was very bad, dangerous sometimes, to show any same-sex romantic affection especially amongst men. So I think with people generally having to hide so much in the beginning, it unfortunately fizzled out by the time gay people were becoming more accepted.

    I don't know that's just a theory lol, it's probably all wrong.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 16, 2013 6:27 AM GMT
    What's not romantic about this? It's in a prison cell, everyone wants this!

    tumblr_lt4s6pErBk1qjzwvbo2_250.gif
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Jan 16, 2013 6:28 AM GMT
    Narciso saidtumblr_m4om7ehfj01qbbs8oo1_500.gif


    Lol ^^^ your shit always cracks me up
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    Jan 16, 2013 6:28 AM GMT
    TheAlchemixt saidWhat's not romantic about this? It's in a prison cell, everyone wants this!

    tumblr_lt4s6pErBk1qjzwvbo2_250.gif



    That bottom needs to stop skipping leg day.
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Jan 16, 2013 6:32 AM GMT
    WickedRyan saidWhat is more romantic than anything is hearing your man tell you he loves you each day.The platinum and diamond engagement ring on my finger is pretty romantic too.icon_smile.gif


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    Jan 16, 2013 6:40 AM GMT
    I believe Good Old Fashioned Romance was acquired in a hostile leveraged buyout, quietly dimantled and it's assets systematically monetized by several off-shore corporate entities.

    The original owners relinquished their American citizenship and moved to Monaco in the mid 90's for tax purposes.

    They maintain a condo in Qatar.

    It is decorated in questionable taste.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jan 16, 2013 7:00 AM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidI LOVE old fashioned romance, and it's definitely biased because in many ways I'm old fashioned myself!
    Woohoo I'm not the only one icon_smile.gif

    You know I was thinking about it and maybe it was because for a time it was very bad, dangerous sometimes, to show any same-sex romantic affection especially amongst men. So I think with people generally having to hide so much in the beginning, it unfortunately fizzled out by the time gay people were becoming more accepted.

    I don't know that's just a theory lol, it's probably all wrong.



    Good point! but look at it from this perspective! gay relationships are becoming more and more mainstream in these day in age then any day in the past. As a result being gay is no longer stereotyped by society as one particular group. There is a growing number of gays from all walks of life. Catholic, Republicans, masculine, Latinos, Asians, and a dozen other non typical stereotypes that are replacing the old stereotypes, not that they don't matter! my point is that being gay is no longer tied to one stereotype, and that in my opinion is a good thing.

    I am also very much an Old Fashioned Gay man myself!! but I am also very much aware this world is big enough to give everyone Conservative, liberals, or in between the right to live and co-exist in it.
  • crisisgray

    Posts: 85

    Jan 16, 2013 7:42 AM GMT
    I'm fascinated with the idea of "gay romance". I always associate this with sweet idea of the old times, was romance at it's peak during those times? Those gay couples back then(19th century), did they have a chance at romance or was it more difficult...I need to watch more documentaries on this. We need more examples that gay romance is possibleicon_exclaim.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 8:08 AM GMT
    Cash said
    They maintain a condo in Qatar.

    It is decorated in questionable taste.


    The white satin upholstered walls in the laundry room were kinda classy...just sayin...
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    Jan 16, 2013 8:38 AM GMT
    The times are different. People just simply don't have the time to swoon you.