My RealJ Experience and Conclusion.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    This is a rant/food for thought.

    First I want to say thank you.

    For years I thought if I was surrounded by gay people then everything would be better, so I came here. Behold, some of you people are the most judgemental, evil, non consistent people. Some of you make the rednecks in Alabama look like the most open minded of people, it's really sad.

    You think people who are gay could be better understanding, but all I have seen is back and forth bickering, vanity out of this world and judgement and condemnation that even the most fire and brimstone Christian isn't capable of.
    Not all because some of you are really sweet, but some of you are so closed off, and bitter, and shut down anything that is not what you believe, it's sad. You guys think you know everything, you pshyco analyze as if you have lived in this world forever and like you know everything
    but truth is that none of you are perfect. No one. Yet people always want to talk and shine light on someone else.
    Me, I saw this and I tried to bring some realness to this forum, aside from constant, who would you fuck threads, and who's above you threads that seem to take over this very place. There is barely any substance, but while people are dissing me for my topics.Saying I have nothing better to do with my time.
    You are here reading them, so what does that say about you =)
    People talk about you like they have the slightest clue who you are, and what you are about. It's pathetic.
    I've watched for a year, how people go at each other, and not even just at me. How if you think differently you are immediately shut down and disregarded. Some of you are the very reason why some gays feel ashamed to be gay, why some gays get so much crap and why some will never have rights in their states.
    Some of you don't have a moral compass. No ethics, no values, no nothing and years from now you will still be here. Have a sarcastic answer to everything you post in every topic you post, point out every flaw in everything from a misspelling to bad punctuation, but are so compelled to disrespect others.
    I'm alot of things, I really am, but not once have I been afraid to put myself out there, not once have I not admitted to having flaws. I know myself through and through, my good and my bad, but some of you don't. Grown as hell and still act like children.

    You can be mad at me/hate me but even when I leave you will find someone else to be mean too, you will find someone else to insult and someone else to demean and degrade. I acknowldge that I wasnt happy but I am working on it. You guys don't see the evil that radiates off of you. Not too many of you are happy either, it shows in all the disrespectful threads, all the self hates against other gays, all the weird terms used to described each other.

    It's weird how I havent even been here that long, and people expect my life to be perfect in less than a year...because they gave advice...but tell me..where is your life at. Are all of you happy..NO, do any of you love yourself as much as you should. NO.

    I think the reason so many of you have such an issue with me, is because I often speak/represent alot of things that you either see in others or see in yourselves, and the things you are trying to tell me, are things you really wish you could say to yourself. Some of you hate being gay and don't even realize it.

    I just ask that you guys who swear you have all the answers, look and the mirror and ask yourself this one question.

    Are you happy?
    Goodbye.
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    Jan 16, 2013 9:26 PM GMT
    Sorry you feel this way, Jamie. I hate to see you go because of few members that have hurt your feelings somehow. Either way, get rid of what's negative and toxic in your life. If this site's doing that for you, then find something else that brings some type of joy and positivity.

    All the best,

    Josh
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    Jan 16, 2013 9:30 PM GMT
    Jesus Mary, you all sorts of drama, eh? Whatever happened to just quietly leaving? "I don't like something, so I am going to whine and and bitch and complain and disappear," because that is, what? What real men do?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 9:36 PM GMT
    Reading something like this makes me upset.

    I know RJ men, or just gay men in general are more territorial and does not agree on pretty much anything. But that's ok.

    I don't see why you need to make everybody agree with you, or have everybody like you or stuff.

    Anyways....best of luck with whatever you want to pursue. Be it going back to closet or becoming a gay priest or a nun or monk or whatever your hearts desire I hope you most importantly find happiness and peace
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    Jan 16, 2013 9:39 PM GMT


    "For years I thought if I was surrounded by gay people then everything would be better, so I came here. Behold, some of you people are the most judgemental, evil, non consistent people."

    Jamie, it's a forum, and I think you'll find this in any forum not heavily moderated. For awhile I was on City-data.com, which sports about a million users and is mostly straight. Same stuff, even with more moderation, and topics that would leave you stunned such as mixed race are inferior human species because they are jailed more etc etc etc. That and topics about gay rights where gays are examined like dead bugs on a windshield.

    You would likely find your experience with gay people different if you were surrounded by gay people out there in fleshland.

    icon_wink.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 9:41 PM GMT
    Do whatever brings you happiness and peace. We all want that for you . . . even if nobody ever said it. I'll keep your words in mind and try not to be too shallow. There's a place for everything, though. I never thought of this one as being my community. It's just a place for motivation.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Jan 16, 2013 10:08 PM GMT
    LOL, whatta basket case.

    bye.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:16 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidJesus Mary, you all sorts of drama, eh? Whatever happened to just quietly leaving? "I don't like something, so I am going to whine and and bitch and complain and disappear," because that is, what? What real men do?


    Well, it's not as bad as some (yet)... If he comes back within a week and makes a big announcement thread thanking his loyal followers for their misplaced sympathy and relentless sycophantic attention that (as planned) brought him back to this e-realm, then, he would at least be on par with some of the more currently 'popular' members of RJ's forums ;]
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 16, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    TLDR

    Alll I read was:
    "I just ask that you guys who swear you have all the answers, look and the mirror and ask yourself this one question. Are you happy? Goodbye. "

    The answer is yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:27 PM GMT
    Ladies and Gentlemen we have started off 2013 with the bitchiest going away post ever!

    Serious dude the only reason you're pissy is because people came forth with opinions differing from your self loathing and often times negative bullshit and then you started insulting them instead of taking it in stride.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    _SAGE_ said
    smartmoney saidJesus Mary, you all sorts of drama, eh? Whatever happened to just quietly leaving? "I don't like something, so I am going to whine and and bitch and complain and disappear," because that is, what? What real men do?


    Well, it's not as bad as some (yet)... If he comes back within a week and makes a big announcement thread thanking his loyal followers for their misplaced sympathy and relentless sycophantic attention that (as planned) brought him back to this e-realm, then, he would at least be on par with some of the more currently 'popular' members of RJ's forums ;]



    Oh I wonder who you could be talking about.....icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Jan 16, 2013 10:29 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    _SAGE_ said
    smartmoney saidJesus Mary, you all sorts of drama, eh? Whatever happened to just quietly leaving? "I don't like something, so I am going to whine and and bitch and complain and disappear," because that is, what? What real men do?


    Well, it's not as bad as some (yet)... If he comes back within a week and makes a big announcement thread thanking his loyal followers for their misplaced sympathy and relentless sycophantic attention that (as planned) brought him back to this e-realm, then, he would at least be on par with some of the more currently 'popular' members of RJ's forums ;]



    Oh I wonder who you could be talking about.....icon_rolleyes.gif


    CASH
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:31 PM GMT
    Import said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    _SAGE_ said
    smartmoney saidJesus Mary, you all sorts of drama, eh? Whatever happened to just quietly leaving? "I don't like something, so I am going to whine and and bitch and complain and disappear," because that is, what? What real men do?


    Well, it's not as bad as some (yet)... If he comes back within a week and makes a big announcement thread thanking his loyal followers for their misplaced sympathy and relentless sycophantic attention that (as planned) brought him back to this e-realm, then, he would at least be on par with some of the more currently 'popular' members of RJ's forums ;]



    Oh I wonder who you could be talking about.....icon_rolleyes.gif


    CASH


    Lol I was trying to be subtle Import.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    _SAGE_ said
    smartmoney saidJesus Mary, you all sorts of drama, eh? Whatever happened to just quietly leaving? "I don't like something, so I am going to whine and and bitch and complain and disappear," because that is, what? What real men do?


    Well, it's not as bad as some (yet)... If he comes back within a week and makes a big announcement thread thanking his loyal followers for their misplaced sympathy and relentless sycophantic attention that (as planned) brought him back to this e-realm, then, he would at least be on par with some of the more currently 'popular' members of RJ's forums ;]



    Oh I wonder who you could be talking about.....icon_rolleyes.gif



    Actually shugs, this could technically be about a whole host of people on this site over the years...It's not exactly an uncommon occurance, but, you're new here, so, i'll let the presumption slide for now icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:41 PM GMT
    I somewhat agree with the OP.

    There's some people on here who seem to do nothing all day except hang around the forum putting people down. I've got a pretty thick skin, so it's sort of whatever for me, but I do notice it.

    I really disliked the "straight-acting/masculine" thread. You would think that a crowd of gays would be the last people who'd want to put people down for being whatever way they are or want to be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:44 PM GMT
    I can see why the OP would get upset, although his response was a bit too histrionic for me.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 16, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    Baalsabo saidI somewhat agree with the OP.

    There's some people on here who seem to do nothing all day except hang around the forum putting people down. I've got a pretty thick skin, so it's sort of whatever for me, but I do notice it.

    I really disliked the "straight-acting/masculine" thread. You would think that a crowd of gays would be the last people who'd want to put people down for being whatever way they are or want to be.



    Soooo, you're saying you hate us?icon_cry.gif
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidSoooo, you're saying you hate us?icon_cry.gif


    No.

    What I'm saying a lot of you (not all) need to watch yourselves because you're only continuing the legacy of hatred and aggression that the past few hundred years have left for us, just in a new way. It's very difficult to shake an inheritance like that, but the best thing we can do is remain conscious of it.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    Baalsabo saidI somewhat agree with the OP.

    There's some people on here who seem to do nothing all day except hang around the forum putting people down. I've got a pretty thick skin, so it's sort of whatever for me, but I do notice it.

    I really disliked the "straight-acting/masculine" thread. You would think that a crowd of gays would be the last people who'd want to put people down for being whatever way they are or want to be.
    I am sorry...But read all of Jamies post. Look at how many people have tried to help him....I tried to help him and he just gets defensive.

    Jamie if you ever read this...I wish you all the best of luck in the world and hope you get the help you need!
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    Come on, this is the Internet forum.

    It is very different from having company at a club or bar, where an insult would bring some form of retaliation, whether just verbal or even physical as well.

    But communicating through the Internet, all you are doing is sitting alone in your room with a computer, perhaps as silent as in an empty house, or with music playing in the background or even with your partner, if you have one, watching TV in the next room or cooking dinner.

    On the Internet you can express your feelings to the full, without fear of any threat. A couple of years ago I called one snooty, stuck-up RJ member a prat. The remainder of the thread began to be occupied with posts filled with invectives, all directed at me.

    Did I have someone knocking on my door? Or was a brick thrown through my window? Or did someone clench his fist, ready to strike?

    No, I had none of these things. I just turned off the computer and left the room. As far as I knew, more were posting insult at me, but I did not read the remaining posts until the next day. In the meantime, all remained quiet and serene.

    The things you can say online you would never dream of in physical company.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:57 PM GMT
    Baalsabo saidI somewhat agree with the OP.

    There's some people on here who seem to do nothing all day except hang around the forum putting people down. I've got a pretty thick skin, so it's sort of whatever for me, but I do notice it.

    I really disliked the "straight-acting/masculine" thread. You would think that a crowd of gays would be the last people who'd want to put people down for being whatever way they are or want to be.


    Oh there are definitely online bullies here just like in real life. But whatever....I don't deal with bullies. Just ignore them. That's what the ignore his posts function is for.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:57 PM GMT
    NotThatOld saidCome on, this is the Internet forum.


    So is this a good excuse to throw decency out the window? The medium doesn't excuse the act.

    JOOU saidOh there are definitely online bullies here just like in real life. But whatever....I don't deal with bullies. Just ignore them. That's what the ignore his posts function is for.


    Personally, I don't need it. It's very difficult for me to give a legitimate fuck about anything anyone on here says.
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    Jan 16, 2013 10:59 PM GMT
    Ay yi yi. Everytime I think I am being just a little too mean, the drama quotient multiplies.

    129882253332-cmc_butthurt.jpg
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 16, 2013 11:01 PM GMT
    Baalsabo said
    HottJoe saidSoooo, you're saying you hate us?icon_cry.gif


    No.

    What I'm saying a lot of you (not all) need to watch yourselves because you're only continuing the legacy of hatred and aggression that the past few hundred years have left for us, just in a new way. It's very difficult to shake an inheritance like that, but the best thing we can do is remain conscious of it.


    Sorry, but by your tone it sounds like you're being hateful. I'm not sure which posters you're talking about, since countless members posted to the straight-acting threads, but you're not being helpful by accusing people at random. Be specific, otherwise you're just slinging mud to get your own anger off your chest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2013 11:05 PM GMT
    Some of us do joke around, and some members think we are actually being rude when we really are joking around.