Rules of engagement

  • Dawie

    Posts: 10

    Jan 17, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    BOLD TEXT GOES HERE

    In the gay life style wat is the rules of engagement ?
  • RollDontWalk

    Posts: 187

    Jan 17, 2013 6:04 PM GMT
    Firstly, realising it's not a lifestyle.
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    Jan 17, 2013 6:10 PM GMT
    Why would the rules of engagement for a gay couple be different from a straight couple?
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Jan 17, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    RollDontWalk saidFirstly, realizing it's not a lifestyle.


    You mean, as in: "A sexual addiction greater than one's desire to live" ?
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    Jan 17, 2013 6:16 PM GMT
    No, as in, it's not a life "style," it's just life.

    wellwell said
    RollDontWalk saidFirstly, realizing it's not a lifestyle.


    You mean, as in: "A sexual addiction greater than one's desire to live" ?
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 6:18 PM GMT
    Maybe I don't understand your question but unlike straight couples, gay couples can make up their own "rules" if they want. It is best IMO if those rules are clearly stated. For example, if what you want is a monogamous relationship, you need to make sure your partner wants the same thing or obviously this isn't going to work. Moreover, you might even need to define what constitutes "monogamy". Is it emotional, sexual, both? If you or your partner cam with someone, is that breaking the rules?

    Bottom line, there aren't any pre-established and universally accepted "rules of engagement." You have to work them out with your BF. And knowing what you want and what you don't want and being able to be clear about that with your 'other' is very important.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 6:24 PM GMT
    showme saidNo, as in, it's not a life "style," it's just life.

    wellwell said
    RollDontWalk saidFirstly, realizing it's not a lifestyle.


    You mean, as in: "A sexual addiction greater than one's desire to live" ?

    See, this is why I keep ranting about "gay" vs "homosexual". Its confusing, even for us!

    To my mind "gay" is a "lifestyle". But "homosexual" is not. You don't need to tell me I'm a contrary, going against accepted usage, etc., I already know that. But, to me, this social semantic confusion is part of what is now holding us back from equal rights. True, *you* may not be confused about the gay=homosexual equation but I think a lot of people, including homosexual people *are* confused about it.
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    Jan 17, 2013 6:39 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    showme saidNo, as in, it's not a life "style," it's just life.

    wellwell said
    RollDontWalk saidFirstly, realizing it's not a lifestyle.


    You mean, as in: "A sexual addiction greater than one's desire to live" ?

    See, this is why I keep ranting about "gay" vs "homosexual". Its confusing, even for us!

    To my mind "gay" is a "lifestyle". But "homosexual" is not. You don't need to tell me I'm a contrary, going against accepted usage, etc., I already know that. But, to me, this social semantic confusion is part of what is now holding us back from equal rights. True, *you* may not be confused about the gay=homosexual equation but I think a lot of people, including homosexual people *are* confused about it.


    I don't know what's confusing. People don't get confused between "straight" and "heterosexual" or think that somehow they're not straight if they don't go to straight pick-up bars.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 6:49 PM GMT
    showme saidI don't know what's confusing. People don't get confused between "straight" and "heterosexual" or think that somehow they're not straight if they don't go to straight pick-up bars.

    Perhaps that's because "straight" doesn't have an original meaning of 'happy', 'merry', 'exuberant' or anything that could be easily dismissed as not serious, or have the same linquiestic history.

    Like I say, it may be clear to you that GAY does not imply a particular life stye. I'm clear that's not the case with a lot of people, including other homosexuals. (ETA: Example = the OP) I think there *is* a "gay lifestyle" but that is my opinion and yours may differ. I'm probably not articulate enough to make my case. (I've gone round a bit with Art_Deco about this.) After having spent my entire adult life self identifying as "gay," I'm not doing it any more. I'm a homosexual and I'm not particularly "gay".

  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Jan 17, 2013 7:48 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    showme saidI don't know what's confusing. People don't get confused between "straight" and "heterosexual" or think that somehow they're not straight if they don't go to straight pick-up bars.

    Perhaps that's because "straight" doesn't have an original meaning of 'happy', 'merry', 'exuberant' or anything that could be easily dismissed as not serious, or have the same linquiestic history.

    Like I say, it may be clear to you that GAY does not imply a particular life stye. I'm clear that's not the case with a lot of people, including other homosexuals. (ETA: Example = the OP) I think there *is* a "gay lifestyle" but that is my opinion and yours may differ. I'm probably not articulate enough to make my case. (I've gone round a bit with Art_Deco about this.) After having spent my entire adult life self identifying as "gay," I'm not doing it any more. I'm a homosexual and I'm not particularly "gay".



    You done gone and confused me.
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    Jan 17, 2013 7:49 PM GMT
    What the hell are the rules of engagement?

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    Jan 17, 2013 7:55 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidWhat the hell are the rules of engagement?

    Wicked funny television show
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    Jan 17, 2013 7:58 PM GMT
    RadRTT said
    MashogaNubianPrince saidWhat the hell are the rules of engagement?

    Wicked funny television show


    Well Kronk is on the show.

    By all accounts it should be hilarious.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jan 17, 2013 8:10 PM GMT
    I thought Rules of Engagement was a term referring to battlefield practices.

    If the OP means something related to betrothal, then good luck. I think for straight people it refers to the equivalent of wearing a sign that says, "I'm taken." and a round of rather silly parties.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Jan 17, 2013 9:16 PM GMT
    MikeW saidMaybe I don't understand your question but unlike straight couples, gay couples can make up their own "rules" if they want. It is best IMO if those rules are clearly stated. For example, if what you want is a monogamous relationship, you need to make sure your partner wants the same thing or obviously this isn't going to work. Moreover, you might even need to define what constitutes "monogamy". Is it emotional, sexual, both? If you or your partner cam with someone, is that breaking the rules?

    Bottom line, there aren't any pre-established and universally accepted "rules of engagement." You have to work them out with your BF. And knowing what you want and what you don't want and being able to be clear about that with your 'other' is very important.


    I don't understand why you think only gay couples have a monopoly on making up their own "rules." Certainly straight couples can make up their own rules if they want to. Like you say, just make sure both parties agree on what the rules are going to be before hand.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 10:41 PM GMT
    monet saidI don't understand why you think only gay couples have a monopoly on making up their own "rules."

    Oh for fucks sake. Of course the *can*... but do they? Do they even ask the question regarding "rules" and have the discussion: "Honey, I want to get married but I also want to fuck around on the side? Is that OK with you?" "Oh, sure, sweetie, you can fuck around all you want as long as I get to flash my big dong on iCupid!" Or wtf ever. I mean give me a fucking break.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 17, 2013 10:42 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    monet saidI don't understand why you think only gay couples have a monopoly on making up their own "rules."

    Oh for fucks sake. Of course the *can*... but do they? Do they even ask the question regarding "rules" and have the discussion: "Honey, I want to get married but I also want to fuck around on the side? Is that OK with you?" "Oh, sure, sweetie, you can fuck around all you want as long as I get to flash my big dong on iCupid!" Or wtf ever. I mean give me a fucking break.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
    They actually do...
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 10:44 PM GMT
    blueandgold saidYou done gone and confused me.

    How so?
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
    RadRTT saidThey actually do...

    I seriously doubt many of them do. A few, maybe, but I'm skeptical of it being a significant percentage.
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    Jan 17, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    I seriously doubt many of them do. A few, maybe, but I'm skeptical of it being a significant percentage.
    You would be surprised. A lot of my friends are in open relationships. Open Relationships have nothing do to with being straight, gay, or bi.

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    Jan 17, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    MikeW, it's the kids. Things are really different from when we were young.
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    Jan 17, 2013 10:50 PM GMT
    My rule: If you fukken cheat on me, I certainly will engage...

    trinity_the_matrix-11351.jpg
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 10:52 PM GMT
    RadRTT said
    MikeW said
    I seriously doubt many of them do. A few, maybe, but I'm skeptical of it being a significant percentage.
    You would be surprised. A lot of my friends are in open relationships. Open Relationships have nothing do to with being straight, gay, or bi.

    And they're engaged to be married?
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    Jan 17, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    And they're engaged to be married?
    2 couples are engaged (they were open from the beginning)...and another one is married (they became open after a year married...they each have a boyfriend and girlfriend)...Man that was one weird dinner
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 17, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    showme saidMikeW, it's the kids. Things are really different from when we were young.

    Could be. If so I'm actually glad to hear it. But I'm around young people quite a bit and hadn't heard *this* (that hetero couples engaged to get married discuss whether or not they can have an open relationship or the degree of its openness, etc.).