At what age is it no longer socially acceptable to live with your parents full time?

  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Jan 18, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    Now aside from the occasional rough patch throughout life where you need to move back, at what point is it socially necessary to move out?

    I'm 19, living with my dad, and on a plan to move out a little less than a year from now. My family all makes fun of me and gives me grief about being a moocher and lazy, etc. I don't feel like my living situation is that ridiculous, but everyone else seems to. Am I a lazy bum?
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    Jan 18, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
    You're fine. But I would say you should be out by 21. If you need to come back for a few months or even years, that is acceptable. But anything after that would be kinda taking advantage of them....
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    Jan 18, 2013 11:04 PM GMT
    Well, it's become common place for 20-somethings to return home after college, hence they've earned the nickname "Boomerang Generation". I moved back home for a while after I graduated from college out of necessity, and it worked out fine. Even though I've been on my own now for a few years, I still see my parents frequently because I'm close to them. Plus, I have to check on my mom when my dad is at work.

    Living situations vary throughout the world. In some places (Spain and South Korea come to mind), it's not unusual for young adults to live with their parents well into their 30s until they get married. Or even young married couples sometimes live with their family or their spouse's family for a while.

    Meanwhile things were different in the US just a few decades ago. My parents left home at 16 and 18, although I often get the impression that back then parents expected their kids to leave home as soon as they were legally allowed, lol.
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    Jan 19, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    They're hassling you at 19? Sounds typical of western culture. Once you turn 18, you get a birthday card with a lease agreement tucked in. Move out or start paying rent. icon_lol.gif

    But I think the general rule of thumb is, after you graduate college, you're supposed to leave the nest. If you're not planning on going to college, then maybe 25 years old is the rough limit.
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    Jan 19, 2013 2:46 AM GMT
    Moving out at 18 or when you graduate college isn't that feasible these days. Entry level jobs don't pay well if you can even get one. Especially for someone who lives in New York or California.

    If I could afford it, I totally would move out. But I can't.
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    Jan 19, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    Those people making fun of you are in debt and eating ramen noodles. With this economy the days of leaving the nest at 18 and being OK are gone so they need to get with the program. If your parents can help you out while you get your life together then there should be no shame in that.
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    Jan 19, 2013 2:49 AM GMT
    13!

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    Jan 19, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    You should move out whenever you want a sex life that involves breakfast in the morning.icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 19, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    These days, it's not unusual to live with your parents well into your 20's. The rising cost of getting an education and living on your own plus the bad job market is making it difficult for younger, less-experience people to live on their own.
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    Jan 19, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    There is no set age. It depends on the individual. Moving out a young age is an American concept. It's far less common in the rest of the world.

  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 19, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    40
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    Jan 19, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    At what age is it no longer socially acceptable to live with your parents full time?

    When your own social pursuits are being held back by living at home. Kinda hard to be taken seriously as dating material when you're still living with Mom & Dad, and lack the freedom for sleepovers. But when you're attending college you can get a "waiver" in most people's eyes in the US. Complete college or other education, though, and you better be moving out.

    But I'll mention another scenario: when older parents, often now a widow or widower, move back in with YOU. It happened to my sister, and also to my current partner. And that can also put a crimp in your dating action, when you've become a caregiver to an elderly parent. That unflattering image of living with Mom still applies in the minds of many people, even if she's now YOUR guest in YOUR house.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jan 19, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    TheAlchemixt said40


    agreed, unless you are being their nurse.
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    Jan 19, 2013 3:50 AM GMT
    Varies by culture/specific situation. Living with your parents as an adult and having your mom do your laundry and your dad giving you an allowance while you spend your days playing video games on the couch isn't the same as living with your parents while maintaining a job and independently taking care of your living needs.
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    Jan 19, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    In most Hispanic cultures there is no issue as long as you work or go to college. My mother always says the door is open as long as I am in college. I like my privacy and being able to bring a guy home so I live with a room mate away from my parent.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 19, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    You're 19? I'd say you're fine, man. Don't worry about it icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 19, 2013 4:16 AM GMT
    Average in America is actually 26, hence the new legislation allowing you to stay on your 'rents' insurance till that age.
  • crisisgray

    Posts: 85

    Jan 19, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    Well in our culture we're expected to take care of our parents throughout life. We can move out for college or work but sooner or later I have to come home and take care of them. Even if being gay has made things difficult it helps that I'm not the feminine type.
    Anyway OP no one has the right to judge you for staying with your parents especially at this point of your life.
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    Jan 19, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    A lot of my friends right now are in the 23-30 age group and they live with their parents while working and/or going to school because they simply can't afford to live on their own. I believe some of them even pay rent or part of utilities while under their parents' roof.

    I know they always say you can live with a bunch of roommates to drive down your rent, but for me it wouldn't work because I'm extremely routine, territorial, and very picky about the way I live. More people, more problems. I could not live with a bunch of strangers who might mess shit up or fuck me over just because it's cheaper. To me it's worth paying the extra $$ to maintain my daily sanity. However, even if I couldn't afford it anymore, I'd rather move back in with my parents than resort to roommates since I know my parents' habits and they know mine. I never had a problem living with them the two years I spent after college because we always respected each other's space nor did I totally mooch off them.
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    Jan 19, 2013 4:54 AM GMT
    Minimum age to work. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:00 AM GMT
    I would say a year or two after you graduated college and found a full time job with steady income. That's my plan anyway. I wanna make sure I save enough money for at least 6 months of unemployment
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:01 AM GMT
    Move out when you are ready. There is no set age... its time when its time. I moved out at 29 but in saying that, while I was living with them... I supported them, paid bills, worked full time, or was going to school full time 18+ hrs. Now at 28/29 I am finally on my own. It was all for the better.
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:02 AM GMT
    I think a socially acceptable age is dependent on the persons priorities.

    If you want to save money for a better future after college or you just started your career than your obviously going to be nesting a lot longer.

    However, if freedom and social interaction is a MAJOR aspect in your life (i.e. one night stands, parties, need to be close to your favourite bar or club...)
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:05 AM GMT
    I think it all depends on the circumstance. If you fall into some hard times, you're not going to be judged for getting some extra help from your folks until you get back on your feet. But if you just being a lazy slob chilling in your parents basement then ya, thats pretty sad.

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    Jan 19, 2013 5:11 AM GMT
    It depends on the culture and where you are.

    I work at the study abroad office at my school and I am often tasked to read journals and essays from students abroad. It's often really surprising to read how different the world is out there.

    In Costa Rica, most people do not move out of the house until they get married. I looked it up further and yeah, true.

    From here
    http://costarica-information.com/about-costa-rica/people-culture-religion/culture/family

    In North America for instance, when children turn 18 years of age, they commonly leave their houses and start living by themselves, but in Costa Rica most children live with their parents until they get married or finish their college degrees. Children who are grown up do not usually move out on their own until they get married, regardless of how old they are. Therefore, it is not uncommon to see families whose children are 30 and have not moved out. There is no negative societal view of this. Just the opposite is true. If a child leaves the house before they are married, it is very unusual and usually only happens if it is absolutely necessary for studies or if the family has very poor relationships.

    Same trends exist in quite a few other countries (japan/china). Since most RJers are American, I'm not surprised when people tell you to move out by your early 20s. But really, you should move out when you are financially stable. The problem is, most people don't try to be financially stable until they move out...

    Financial stability should be achieved by the time you are in your late 20s/early 30s though... financially unstable guys at that age are kind of a turn off icon_confused.gif and perhaps not really socially accepted.