The Gym/Locker room stare down!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2013 7:58 AM GMT
    I j got THE most SERIOUS stare down EVER.. in the history of my life from a guy at the gym on Tuesday while finishing up in the locker room , putting my clothes on.This dude just STARED at me... and i put on my clothes and acted as if i didn't notice him behind me but i did and made eye contact with him a few times when i looked back to confirm whether this guy was stone face staring at me.. and it wasn't a smile he was giving me. It was so intense and stoic.. like a "You raped my mother and my cat and burned down my house" look. Then to further the weirdness he made sure to leave the locker room when i did.. I hung back so i would follow him but he walked slowly through gym as we were both on our way out. I settled in the front lobby of Fitness SF and set up my lap top in the cafe area while he continued to stare me down! He continued to turn back and stare as he walked forward until he left my view from inside the gym while he walked outside. It was INTENSE and creepy! I started to think ..what if he doesn't just find me attractive... what if i fucked his boyfriend or ran over his cat or something?

    The old adage goes if someone looks at you for more than 6 seconds without blinking they either want to kill you or fuck you. Guys sometimes... no.. often times do not know how to cruise. And anyways when i am at the gym.. i am at the gym to work out so i put on blinders to anyone who could be flirting with me. But if this was flirting it wasn't effective. It made me tense and quite frankly get ready to defend myself. LOL. WTF?

    Have you any tales of creepy staring? Gym cruising gone wrong?
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    Jan 19, 2013 8:04 AM GMT
    If that was indeed a flirtatious gesture instead of a 'serial killer' look , he really needs some training in the art of finesse... How about this, next time you're at the gym , don't put your blinders on....If he is around, try approaching him and say 'hi' . You'd be amazed by the reaction of surprise when somebody as stoic of an expression such as his would render.
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    Jan 19, 2013 8:08 AM GMT
    He officially creeped me out so much that i do not think i will go anywhere near him. It was serial killer. He could have given me a smile...or said hello.. I don't think my blinders say "i dont want to talk to you".. they say "I am not going to flirt with you. I'm certainly not gonna hook up with right now. No i am not following you into the steam room. I came here to kick my own ass."
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    Jan 19, 2013 8:12 AM GMT
    JackKash saidHe officially creeped me out so much that i do not think i will go anywhere near him. It was serial killer. He could have given me a smile...or said hello.. I don't think my blinders say "i dont want to talk to you".. they say "I am not going to flirt with you. I'm certainly not gonna hook up with right now. No i am not following you into the steam room. I came here to kick my own ass."


    I didn't mean to imply hooking up. Just a friendly hello or even a smile with a nod.
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    Jan 19, 2013 8:19 AM GMT
    I don't get it either. There's this one guy that does that to me. We even briefly chatted once in the past. But whenever I look over his way, he just stares intensely at me. It's like, wtf? I'm almost positive he's gay too. I guess different guys have their own way of flirting.

    I think next time I see him, I'll wave hi or something. icon_biggrin.gif

    tumblr_lyokikO2EU1qk8x9e.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 19, 2013 3:32 PM GMT
    Did you forget to wipe down a bench or some other gym etiquette. There's a lot of crazys, so you do have to be cautious. Since you were in a public place and he was staring you down, I would have just said, 'Can I help you?'

    I had some guy do this to me in a store, but I knew he was cruizing me. Yes big fail. He followed me around, eventually walked passed me and whispered, "I want to fuck you." ... all I could think was, 'geeze, what a weirdo!'
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    Jan 19, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidDid you forget to wipe down a bench or some other gym etiquette. There's a lot of crazys, so you do have to be cautious. Since you were in a public place and he was staring you down, I would have just said, 'Can I help you?'


    Actually, I would vote for yelling, "SECURITY!!" Problem solved. Game over.
  • slo_jock86

    Posts: 135

    Jan 19, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    He wasn't cruising but I'm glad you immediatly thought so; good story.
  • GWriter

    Posts: 1446

    Jan 19, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    That would have creeped me out, too.
    I like the idea of going up to him and saying hi, maybe in a really exuberant way, and letting him think maybe YOU are the one who is crazy. That might drive him off! haha icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 19, 2013 4:19 PM GMT
    Just go out lift him, thatll piss him off icon_twisted.gif
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    Jan 19, 2013 4:24 PM GMT
    I would have confronted him based on what I felt from his demeanor. If he looked like he was giving me a "fuck you" stare I would have gone up to him and asked if he had a problem. Whats he gonna do, fight me? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Still I know not everyone has my attitude about these things. I had one guy stare at me but when I would look in his direction he'd turn the other way or make it look like he was looking past me at something else. I dont have time for that kind of bullshit.
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:29 PM GMT
    slo_jock86 saidHe wasn't cruising but I'm glad you immediatly thought so; good story.
    LOL
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:32 PM GMT
    If you encounter him again, do something gross like hock up a luggie or pick your nose. Maybe that will deter him.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 19, 2013 5:36 PM GMT
    He might get his jollies by trying to unnerve you. Think about it.. he might have just been into this... "lets play a game and see if we can get under his skin".

    I would have taken it as a challenge... I would gave made sure he understood he didn't get the time of day....
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    Really? Really?

    How kindergarten.

    Just go up to him and ask a friendly question. If he's not a total sociopath he will reply in kind and the situation will clear up. Everything else is just immature.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    Totally freaky story Jack...
    I would have smiled at him and then turned my head side ways like Stewie. icon_lol.gif
    stewie.gif
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    Jan 19, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    Claystation saidI would have confronted him based on what I felt from his demeanor. If he looked like he was giving me a "fuck you" stare I would have gone up to him and asked if he had a problem. Whats he gonna do, fight me? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Still I know not everyone has my attitude about these things. I had one guy stare at me but when I would look in his direction he'd turn the other way or make it look like he was looking past me at something else. I dont have time for that kind of bullshit.


    I stalk you sometimes, Clay
  • nomadfornow

    Posts: 1069

    Jan 19, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    I think I would have called him out on it. Not necessarily in a confrontational way, but maybe something along the lines of, "Excuse me, may I help you?" or simply, "Yes??" That way you're not picking a fight, but you are clearly telling him that he's being a creep.
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    Jan 19, 2013 6:03 PM GMT
    Yeah, I get it a lot and have noticed it is usually older Spanish/Mexican guys; I've gotten used to it now, even come to expect it.
    Little kids do the same thing; not sure how that relates?
  • E_84

    Posts: 201

    Jan 19, 2013 6:08 PM GMT
    All that had occurred, to me, is unacceptable. Every person has a right to personal space and that was an invasion of it.

    Whether unconcious or conscious, people need to stay attuned to their actions/behaviours and fashion it to a respectable attitude while in public. No one should ever go through such an uncomfortable encounter anywhere.

    I would have went up to the motherf*cker and asked if he needed his eyes checked.

    Yes, staring in the gym is a huge pet peeve of mine.
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    Jan 19, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    You're sure he was a serial killer and not a diabetic spacing-out from low blood glucose? I know a guy who has that look (for that reason) and it's easily cured with an apple. BTW: he's completely oblivious to the fact that he's staring - it's like time passes for us at another rate than him.
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    Jan 19, 2013 6:17 PM GMT
    Congratulations!
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    Jan 19, 2013 6:23 PM GMT
    bleh how creepy. I have no qualms with cruising/getting cruised but weird is weird. The coy eye contact flirtation is infinitely more interesting than outright staring, as if he is trying to steal your soul or something.
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    Jan 19, 2013 7:08 PM GMT
    E_84 saidAll that had occurred, to me, is unacceptable. Every person has a right to personal space and that was an invasion of it.

    Whether unconcious or conscious, people need to stay attuned to their actions/behaviours and fashion it to a respectable attitude while in public. No one should ever go through such an uncomfortable encounter anywhere.

    I would have went up to the motherf*cker and asked if he needed his eyes checked.

    Yes, staring in the gym is a huge pet peeve of mine.


    +1

    Personal space and respect in public is a huge "thing" for me. Some dudes do the stare thing in bars, which is a far different environment than a gym.. they stare at you until they stare back. If he had the interest in either killing me or fucking me... he should have said something to me. As he left my view for the final time while i sat down and opened up my lap top and he stood outside, i made eye contact with him again..and he made a slightly flirtatious smile...and then disappeared from view. I'm pretty sure he was badly cruising than wanting to a angrily confront me.. but he most likely did not realize that he came off completely creepy because he is indeed in some format..creepy. "normal" people just say hello and do not stare or follow people in hopes that that person will say something to you. It was highly passive aggressive. His lack of respect and the fact he was setting off alarms in my head didn't make it easy for me to want to turn to him and say "Hello." If anything it made me uneasy and i felt my space was being entered.

    Plus he was a 5 beer'er.

    There's just some unspoken rule in a gym..and gym locker room.. do not stare at the dude undressing or working out. There's an unspoken rule everywhere... do not stare at people period. You might elicit some unwanted reactions.

    Especially do not stare at a random black man. If i were someone else... he would have gotten jumped.

  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 19, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    No one can quite know the reason. I wouldn't intimidate him as you will see him again and again. Say hi, how ya doing and see where that goes. You never know, he might think he knows you from the past, or that you remind him of someone and he is just trying to think it out. Imimidation is the last thing you want to do to strange acting people, as you never know what it will lead to. Good luck.