Dealing with a break up.

  • keni65

    Posts: 13

    Jan 19, 2013 11:43 PM GMT
    Thought i would bear all and see what other thoughts are on it. My first male relationship just ended after 6 and a half years. I was wondering how you cope with it, I didnt want it to end but you cant make someone stay with you right lol.
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    Jan 20, 2013 12:14 AM GMT
    Sad to hear that. When I finished a 4 year relationship, it wasn't too bad because I had a busy working life to 'distract' me.

    Maybe it's hard to see the end of a relationship this way at the moment, but it actually provides you an opportunity to meet a guy (or guys) more compatible for you. At least my goal is to find someone better because I'm a better man now. icon_lol.gif

    Good luck!
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    Jan 20, 2013 1:33 AM GMT
    Just ended my 8 years a week ago. So far I've pretty much been staying very busy. Going to work. Clean out/simplify my life (throwing away a lot things that I don't need.) Clean, clean, clean. Bought a pull up bar so I can exercise in my room. Bought a new bed. Went through my old clothes and books and sent them for donation. Go out with friends because they are my support, get drunk. I still talk to him here and there to check in on each other but at the same time being honest with our feelings.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 20, 2013 4:34 AM GMT
    i am sorry to hear about your breakup buddy. Like everyone else has stated it hurts now but you will get over him pretty soon. WHen you do you will wonder why you put so much of your energy and time in thinking why did this happen. Especially when you meet the new love of your life
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    Jan 20, 2013 4:53 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear that.That is a long time to be with someone.Take it one day at a time.Try and keep yourself busy and spend time with good friends.We wish you good luck.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Jan 20, 2013 5:02 AM GMT
    keni65 saidThought i would bear all and see what other thoughts are on it. My first male relationship just ended after 6 and a half years. I was wondering how you cope with it, I didnt want it to end but you cant make someone stay with you right lol.


    Just a little reminder my friend! a resourceful person always knows what to do with a break up! he takes with him every little bit of the broken pieces, to then later use it to build a stronger foundation, when he is ready to build another home filled with love!?.

    My friend don't despair, there are many gay men whose home are empty, not because they are not worth it, but because in the "real estate" of the gay world, where fancy and expensive houses are many few are worth calling it a home!? next time you put yourself in the dating market again, makes sure you look for a home and not a house to live in! Good luck and take a breather!
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    Jan 20, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    I wholeheartedly believe that everything in life happens for a reason - the good, the bad, and all that falls between the two. The main thing to remember after a break up is to continue to stay busy and be goal-oriented; after my last relationship ended, I used my frustration and channeled it into my workouts and my job, and it ended up equating to a lot of productivity. Nurture your feelings while also finding a useful outlet for them.
  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 316

    Jan 20, 2013 5:29 AM GMT
    sorry to hear man... kia kaha
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    Jan 22, 2013 6:11 AM GMT
    That's hard news to hear. Good luck, pardner. icon_sad.gif

    As impossible as it is to understand when you're going through it, you gotta focus on yourself and what you want out of life. If he didn't fit into that picture, find the courage to recognize it and to live life on your own terms.
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    Jan 22, 2013 6:44 AM GMT
    There is no formula. Or roadmap.

    Do whatever it takes to feel better. Stay in bed all day if You feel like it. Stay out all night if You want. If you can afford it, buy RIDICULOUS things just or the Hell of it.

    Watch Your favorite movies. Listen to Your favorite music.

    Allow Yourself to wallow every now and then. If You feel sorry for Yourself - go for it. It passes QUICKLY if You allow it to go through You.

    What You resist persists. So feel any DAMNED thing You feel.

    And KNOW that for all the good times, for the bonding and intimacy You felt...there is even MORE of that out there waiting for You.

    The ONLY strength ANY of Us will EVER have is the the knowledge, the trust, the FAITH...that We will get up the next day and start all over again no matter WHAT. Ain't NOTHING stopping the next day from coming SO...ain't nothing stopping Us from starting over. As many times as it takes.

    You will fall on Yer face a coupla times...and it will SUCK. But as long as Ya got a breath left You can get up. And You will.

    And one day You will notice that the scales have tipped. You may not feel GREAT...but You WILL feel moar happy than You do sad...and then it just sorta keeps building.

    Eventually You will see a future again...and when You get to THAT point...the sky is the limit!!!!!

    Good Luck!!!!

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