JR_Lore saidSomewhat, but you really have to be clueless to think someone changed on you. People make choices that define who they are, and I believe everyone is capable of the mundane, beautiful, horrific, expected, and unexpected. I'd only be fooling myself to think things were and would continue to be the same.
I don't know that I think things might stay the same but can I at least expect--even given some fluxuation--a continuum in the same general direction? Because when I see a 180 all of a sudden, I have my doubts as to its authenticity.
As I sometimes wonder if I'm seeing someone differently or if they did actually change (and maybe sometimes it is a combination of the two), I have questioned the other person and had my suspicions confirmed. When my brother moved to town, I made specific changes in my behavior towards him to facilitate his changing. The changes consisted of two basic components and I was quite conscious of what I was doing: I stopped discussing with him anything that really mattered to me and just kept things to light conversation--I'm actually capable of that though I don't normally engage theantijock-lite. Just in doing that, but also additionally, I didn't let him push any of my buttons. I would be careful not to expose them, or if I accidentally did, I'd short circuit them before reacting to him pushing those buttons.
At that time there were other issues in his life which helped him change but also, it turned out, he later admitted to me that he saw that he was being a fucked up guy, that he wasn't very nice to us, and he specifically endeavored to change himself. Redemption.
I confronted my cousin on this too who had changed in the opposite direction. One of the horrible, yet far from the worst thing she said to me was that she felt that she didn't have to be nice to anyone anymore. She got all new agey and thought she had messages to deliver to others regardless of how those so-called messages might make someone feel. I couldn't fucking believe it. She was turning into the shit we see so often online of people not giving a crap about each other. I couldn't be more disappointed in her. And then she got even worse. She embraced the worst parts of herself. Lost cause.
Harry7785 saidI do believe people change...
As the earth crust changes its shape very minutely & often unnoticeable, in the long course we can see it clearly...
similarly a person, no matter how robust or strict in his character one rarely notice any changes in short period of time...but if you put him in a book and started reading..you will notice the change clearly in every page of his life from beginning to the end!
That was beautiful.