Has getting in shape NOT improved dating for you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 5:17 AM GMT
    I figured this was a better question than asking whether it did.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 5:37 AM GMT
    Well, it's a little awkward to always find a way to pull off your shirt before you make a date.








    Except in the summer, of course.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    It hasn't helped me. I haven't dated in over 15 years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 7:39 AM GMT
    Ehh, now that I'm a bit bigger i just get more girls noticing me, but usually better shape translates to getting more dick...err uh dates.
  • Coug24_wyo

    Posts: 147

    Jan 21, 2013 8:00 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidI figured this was a better question than asking whether it did.


    This is a really interesting question and very personal one at that for me. Having lost a lot of weight (142lb) I was eager to enter the dating world and meet new guys, but I've been not as thrilled with the outcome. Unlike most though I contend with excess skin which makes me less attractive, but that will eventually be surgically overcome able. In this regard I've not benefited from getting in shape as I've had to sharply deal with rejection repeatedly and often insensitively.

    I think though to answer your question truly honestly, getting in shape HAS very much so helped my dating. Working out regularly doesn't just make you healthier physically but also mentally as it reduces stress, combats depression, and for me it is also a confidence boost. Also the healthier I am and the more I continue to be active the more likely I'll garner muscle tone and thus be more attractive with or without taking care of my skin dilemma.
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Jan 21, 2013 8:04 AM GMT

    It has definitely changed the dynamics of dating. Before I was in shape, I only had a few guys that showed me any kind of attention, and it was usually due to my personality. Now, being in shape, I receive a lot more attention and dating requests, but they are generally superficial. They only want to have sex, and they lose interest if I don't reciprocate.

    I went on this date with a guy one time, and we ended up having sex, but the next day when it was time to part, I asked him if he wanted to go on another date, and he actually said that he wasn't interested in dating me because I would eventually find someone hotter than him and break up with him. He didn't want to date me because he thought I was too good looking for him and would eventually breakup with him when I found someone hotter.

    I was dumbfounded by his explanation. Really? You would turn down someone's request to date just because you're afraid of something that may or may not happen.

    Then there's always the guys that just want to jump your bones because you look good. They don't care about who you are as a person, your intelligence or your personality. They're just curious about what you look like naked and what kind of sex partner you are. I find this behavior rampant in South Florida where everyone has pretty much fucked everyone else out of pure curiosity. After sex, the curiosity vanishes and so does the guy.

    Bottom line is that being in shape will help you get a date, but because of the superficiality of it all, it's hard to turn dating into something meaningful, especially for those of us who are LTR inclined.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 8:09 AM GMT
    I WOULDN'T say that getting in shape has NOT improved dating for me; equivalently I would say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Also, I WOULDN'T NOT say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Further, I MIGHTN'T NOT say that average intentions of the people I've dated have NOT moved in the general direction of NOT wanting sex rather than a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 8:11 AM GMT
    He_Man said
    It has definitely changed the dynamics of dating. Before I was in shape, I only had a few guys that showed me any kind of attention, and it was usually due to my personality. Now, being in shape, I receive a lot more attention and dating requests, but they are generally superficial. They only want to have sex, and they lose interest if I don't reciprocate.

    I went on this date with a guy one time, and we ended up having sex, but the next day when it was time to part, I asked him if he wanted to go on another date, and he actually said that he wasn't interested in dating me because I would eventually find someone hotter than him and break up with him. He didn't want to date me because he thought I was too good looking for him and would eventually breakup with him when I found someone hotter.

    I was dumbfounded by his explanation. Really? You would turn down someone's request to date just because you're afraid of something that may or may not happen.

    Then there's always the guys that just want to jump your bones because you look good. They don't care about who you are as a person, your intelligence or your personality. They're just curious about what you look like naked and what kind of sex partner you are. I find this behavior rampant in South Florida where everyone has pretty much fucked everyone else out of pure curiosity. After sex, the curiosity vanishes and so does the guy.

    Bottom line is that being in shape will help you get a date, but because of the superficiality of it all, it's hard to turn dating into something meaningful, especially for those of us who are LTR inclined.



    That is so sad and so true. well said. Good luck to you and your future dating efforts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 9:49 AM GMT
    This question is hard to answer. Partly because as we get in shape and our bodies change, there is only one linear tangent of existence. We have no pool of examples for comparison on any same given date. Any influx or decrease in dates could just be arbitrary and your appearance would not matter.

    From a larger time scope, I believe having lost fat has helped me attract more men in general. I also get complimented more from my appearance than before. Objectively, though I'm still self-conscious about how I look, I can look in a mirror and ask myself, "Which one of me would I tap first? Me now or in 2009?" I'd definitely answer me now. icon_redface.gif
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Jan 21, 2013 10:14 AM GMT
    sitr7 saidI WOULDN'T say that getting in shape has NOT improved dating for me; equivalently I would say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Also, I WOULDN'T NOT say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Further, I MIGHTN'T NOT say that average intentions of the people I've dated have NOT moved in the general direction of NOT wanting sex rather than a relationship.


    Man, that gave me a headache trying to decipher this...

    I WOULDN'T say that getting in shape has NOT improved dating for me; equivalently I would say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Also, I WOULDN'T NOT say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Further, I MIGHTN'T NOT say that average intentions of the people I've dated have NOT moved in the general direction of NOT wanting sex rather than a relationship

    Edited:

    I wouldn't say that getting in shape has not improved dating for me; equivalently, I would say that getting in shape improved dating for me.

    Also, I say that getting in shape improved dating for me.

    Further, I say that average intentions of the people I've dated have moved in the general direction of wanting sex rather than a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 10:16 AM GMT
    He_Man said
    sitr7 saidI WOULDN'T say that getting in shape has NOT improved dating for me; equivalently I would say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Also, I WOULDN'T NOT say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Further, I MIGHTN'T NOT say that average intentions of the people I've dated have NOT moved in the general direction of NOT wanting sex rather than a relationship.


    Man, that gave me a headache trying to decipher this...

    I WOULDN'T say that getting in shape has NOT improved dating for me; equivalently I would say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Also, I WOULDN'T NOT say that getting in shape HASN'T NOT improved dating for me.

    Further, I MIGHTN'T NOT say that average intentions of the people I've dated have NOT moved in the general direction of NOT wanting sex rather than a relationship

    Edited:

    I wouldn't say that getting in shape has not improved dating for me; equivalently, I would say that getting in shape improved dating for me.

    Also, I say that getting in shape improved dating for me.

    Further, I say that average intentions of the people I've dated have moved in the general direction of wanting sex rather than a relationship.


    icon_biggrin.gif Don't tell me you didn't have fun doing that!
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Jan 21, 2013 12:06 PM GMT
    Can't say it has.....
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Jan 21, 2013 12:08 PM GMT
    People are more interested, but then again the last time I was single was when I was 19, had the emohair and everything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 3:03 PM GMT
    I started bodybuilding under the guise of loving the sport but underneath I secretly hoped having that body would help me find a boyfriend.

    Years later, haven't dated a single person but am actually truly in love with the sport. So I'd say no, I get compliments and passive attention but still no dates.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 21, 2013 3:25 PM GMT
    Being in shape will get other in shape guys to notice you, but in the end it comes down to confidence and personality. You can't just stand at the edge of the lake and look pretty to catch fish, you have to cast your line and reel them in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 3:37 PM GMT
    honestly I've always been in shape, dating has always been the same for me-

    Ive been told that I am unapproachable lol

    People pre-judge alot, I tend to get alot of " I thought you were going to be a superficial douchebag before I got to know you"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    Very interesting question. I think it has just allowed me to feel like I'm bringing my A game That's really what you should focus on... what you're bringing to the table. I've attracted a lot of guys I've found physically very attractive, but it hasn't improved the potential chemistry one bit. In fact, the more physically attracted a guy has been to me, the more it interfered with our communication and killed the attraction from my end.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 21, 2013 4:28 PM GMT
    catchy_screen_name saidhonestly I've always been in shape, dating has always been the same for me-

    Ive been told that I am unapproachable lol

    People pre-judge alot, I tend to get alot of " I thought you were going to be a superficial douchebag before I got to know you"



    That just means that they're being superficial in how they judge you. It's also a red flag that they're the jealous type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 4:38 PM GMT
    It has because it has given me more confidence, and that translate pretty strongly.

    The downside is that I also want someone in shape... which like cut my pool of potential candidates by 90% icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    Don't know really. I didn't really try in the slightest before I was "in shape". In the beginning when I was trying, sure - I got few requests. But I think the community is getting sick of this mug. I have kind of a bitch face. icon_wink.gif

    I've actually never been hit up by someone in good shape. Mostly guys with some chunk on them but not guys like you see around RJ. And the few times that I did try on like POF or Match (since I'm a loser and am incapable of meeting people other ways...) I don't get a response soooo yeeeeah.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 4:43 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidThat just means that they're being superficial in how they judge you. It's also a red flag that they're the jealous type.


    Any judgement made before we get to know someone is a superficial judgement, though. Does that make us all jealous types?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    In my case getting in shape has exponentially improved dating. I was a pencil necked tall thin guy as a high school freshman, but started lifting weights, running, swimming, playing H20-polo in my sophomore year, and within a short time, I was happier, very confident and no longer sitting home dateless. One guy summed it up for me: I hadn't seen him in months, and after I got buffed and better looking we bumped into each other in a jacuzzi. He said very offhandedly, "Wow. You're looking better! Did you start working out?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2013 5:25 PM GMT
    Getting into shape hasn't improved my dating life at all. No one has ever asked me out before or after I transformed my body. (I know that I have a long way to go still, but I'm definitely in the best shape I've ever been; and I've been working out hard for 3+ years). It's funny, however, how many complements I get at the gym by nice looking guys (but, I think many are just being kind/nice). Oh well! icon_question.gif
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Jan 22, 2013 12:24 AM GMT
    It hasn't really helped me. In high school I was a big ol' fatty. I was on several gay sites and nobody would talk to me because of my weight. Many even told me straight up they didn't wanna talk to me because I was fat. So I started dieting and taking fitness seriously and lost a ton of weight and started to tone up.

    Well fast forward to now and I am still in the same boat. I still have never dated/hooked up with anyone and have a hard time getting people to talk to me. I dunno what it is haha. Most of the time the people I try to talk to I am not even interested in sexually I just wanna be their friend but they ignore me. The only people who give me attention are overweight guys. I talk to them because I know how it feels to be ignored for your weight but in the end all they want is for me to suck them off and that is not something I wanna do...

    Granted I have put some weight back on as the last few months have been tough for me personally but I am starting to get back on track. Maybe there is something wrong with my face or I haven't really come as far as I think I have with my fitness/weight loss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 22, 2013 12:32 AM GMT
    I personally haven't noticed a correlation between fitness and dating success. Even though I was more toned when I was in gymnastics, my dating life was practically non-existent because I had other priorities. Out of the sport 5 years now, I feel fine being normal, so I'd say attitude and confidence have made a bigger difference than my shape has.