I need advice u_u please :(

  • Zaakat

    Posts: 30

    Jan 21, 2013 7:37 AM GMT
    Hello fellow friends icon_smile.gif I really appreciate if you could help me with this "issues" I have right now... this is what is happening and I really need some advice!

    I'm new to the city I live on now, I only have one friend and it has been real tough for me. I miss my family and my friends a lot, but where I am from I had no chances of making something out of my career, so here I am, working for my future.

    The thing is I met this guy 3 months ago almost when I arrived, I fell for him like a rat for cheese, we dated, and suddenly this month he just ignores me, or just calls me when he wants to suck my dick, literally, I know the kind of relationship I'm on, I know he doesn't feel anything for me other than lust. But the problem is I have indeed fallen for him, and I'm really beginning to suffer because sometimes he just plainly ignores me.

    I know Im not a super model, but neither is he, I know I don't have to take that BS, for example we arrange a date for dinner, and at the very last minute he doesn't answer the phone nor everything, have done that 3 times now... so today he did it again, I like him, a lot, but I decided it's not worth it... called him 3 times, no answer... and I feel lame with myself for craving for the attention of someone who doesn't even care about me. So I texted him that I'm not gonna be his disposable friend anymore. However a part of me still clinges to the fact that he might change... omg that part of me is so retarded...

    The fact is, I'm kinda losing hope about love and relationships, I had one that was wonderful at first, we lasted 5 years until I realized he was cheating on me with everyone, even our "friends" so obviously I dumped him...

    So am I wrong to keep searching for real love, those real love actually exists? A friend of mine tells me that I am too soft hearted and that I need to turn into a player... but that's not me. I'm after something more, something deep, something special.

    I've had some relationships, more like relationship abortions... as I call them, either because they are dishonest, just want sex, or money... There are guys that are in love with me also but I really really don't like them, not one bit :/


    So what should I do? about this actual "relationship", about this search for love.. and about turning into a player.... thanks in advance, first for reading and for the answers I'll get, I really need the advice, in fact right now I'm a mess emotionally. Thanks god there is excercise and work to keep my mind distracted...
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jan 21, 2013 7:55 AM GMT
    Estimado amigo el amor es una fuente de aguas salvajes! dejalo fluir por las venas de tu corazon, para que asi aprendas a nadar y en un futuro evitar a que no te vuelvas ahogar!!

    Leandro
  • Zaakat

    Posts: 30

    Jan 21, 2013 8:00 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidEstimado amigo el amor es una fuente de aguas salvajes! dejalo fluir por las venas de tu corazon, para que asi aprendas a nadar y en un futuro evitar a que no te vuelvas ahogar!!

    Leandro


    Woow que bonito, que poético icon_biggrin.gif gracias! lo tomaré en cuenta icon_wink.gif
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jan 21, 2013 8:19 AM GMT
    Zaakat said
    LEANDRO_NJ saidEstimado amigo el amor es una fuente de aguas salvajes! dejalo fluir por las venas de tu corazon, para que asi aprendas a nadar y en un futuro evitar a que no te vuelvas ahogar!!

    Leandro


    Woow que bonito, que poético icon_biggrin.gif gracias! lo tomaré en cuenta icon_wink.gif


    Mi ser poeta no lo es, si no tuviese un cuaderno donde me permitiera reflejar lo que yo persivo en el reflejo de tu voz, atraves el espejismo de tus palabras! amigo bien venido a este humilde refugio! espero sea de tu agrado!?

    Leandro
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 12:39 PM GMT
    Move on... He just wants sex nothing else
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 1:03 PM GMT
    Don't change your attitude or character because of some one who does not appreciate you, that will be very foolish of you.

    Also, ignore him as much as you can, if it means lying to yourself that 'you don't love him', do it!!! You are worth more than that kind of relationship.

    About those guys you say they feel for you but you don't, why don't you give them a try by knowing them and I am sure you will find something in common.

    Love do exist, even in gay relationships and I am sure there are some couples here who can attest to this fact.

    Be yourself and forget about that loser.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Jan 21, 2013 1:06 PM GMT
    One thing is for sure ..... if you don't give true love and commitment you won't get it. So if you become a player you won't ever have what you say you want most.

    Don't give up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 1:11 PM GMT
    LuckyGuyKC saidOne thing is for sure ..... if you don't give true love and commitment you won't get it. So if you become a player you won't ever have what you say you want most.

    Don't give up.


    True talk!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 1:31 PM GMT
    Based on your description, it is clear that he is ignoring & using you!...If that is what you want for the rest of life...go ahead!

    But I just want to say that, he dose not deserve you!,fate may had already kept in store a better person for you which you may haven't met him yet..who knows!

    If you really like him..
    First you do is, ask yourself whether it is love or infatuation?
    If it is love
    then you should try to change his attitude towards you...by telling him how you feel & how you don't wanted to be treated!

    if it is infatuation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infatuation)... then leave him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 1:35 PM GMT
    LuckyGuyKC saidOne thing is for sure ..... if you don't give true love and commitment you won't get it. So if you become a player you won't ever have what you say you want most.

    Don't give up.

    Thanks for that. Just turned me around.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 21, 2013 1:36 PM GMT
    Well to start with, be a little more picky about who you date. No more "rat for cheese" approaches!! lol. Seriously, take it slower, easier, make sure the person you are seeing is the real deal. Too many guys "rush in" without thinking. You want a good relationship.. approach it that way from the start. Those that don't qualify, leave at the door and move on. It might take some time.
  • TonyD

    Posts: 168

    Jan 21, 2013 3:06 PM GMT
    If you had another guy you liked, you wouldn't think twice about this guy.
    The hopelessness about relationships comes from not having other prospects in front of you.
    This is all affected by being in a new city, lonely and needing affection.
    All understandable.
    Sounds like he's a occasional and not reliable sex partner and nothing else.
    He's not relationship material however there are many who are ratio skip material... You just don't know them YET.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jan 21, 2013 3:59 PM GMT
    Don't ever change or compromise what feels right for you, EVER!! I am talking from experience here! the moment you become something you are not to simply go with the flow, or in your case do what everyone around you does, in order to be accepted or noticed by your peers! from that moment on if you give in to that "forced" change (of what have been familiar to your way of being all your life) things, people, and events responsible for it all they will accomplish is to destroy the beautiful person that you already are!! don't EVER compromise your sets of values for the sake of others!!!

    Leandro
  • spunkywasabi

    Posts: 126

    Jan 21, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    I feel your pain. I feel many guys have gone through something you are experiencing. I don't know what you are really feeling, but I imagine being lonely and isolated has intensified a need to seek companionship in general. Perhaps what you feel for this guy isn't that you have "fell for him" but that he makes you feel less alone. I think you should really think about what you want. Is it really "love," or whatever you want to call it, when someone has treated you the way he has? If so, what does that say about how you value yourself? Be strong and patience, do not give up!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 4:06 PM GMT
    TonyD saidIf you had another guy you liked, you wouldn't think twice about this guy.
    The hopelessness about relationships comes from not having other prospects in front of you.
    This is all affected by being in a new city, lonely and needing affection.
    All understandable.
    Sounds like he's a occasional and not reliable sex partner and nothing else.
    He's not relationship material however there are many who are ratio skip material... You just don't know them YET.
    Nicely said. And OP: the issue is not about whether you are attractive enough, it's about a difference in values and/or you and this guy being in different places in your lives.

    Given what you've shared, the best approach is to cease all contact and stop being his booty call.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 7:49 PM GMT
    It's easy for us to say "respect yourself", "go slower", and "get over him" - but it's not easy for you.

    All I can tell you is this: 4 years from now when you hit 32, this will have been a passing thing, and you won't be concerned. The next few years will be awesome for you, so get out, have some fun (not sex, but enjoy doing stuff with other people, men and women).

    Discover what really makes you happy in life and do more of it.

    Love will find you.

    For now, just know that the hurt passes and you really don't need a guy who just wants to suck you off as a "friend".
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    Jan 21, 2013 8:33 PM GMT
    ignore him as well. u dont deserve that kind of treatment. I am here in orlando Florida for 6 months allready and i havent make friends. is hard tough...since people just want good looking friends...and i am kind of a happy quiet explorer person. And, people just want other things than just a friendship. Is hard to find friends now day, people dont respect as much, and ignore so much. So, i rather stay alone that with bad company. =/
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jan 21, 2013 8:51 PM GMT
    dude, drop the loser and find someone better. i do not think that this is that hard. i mean you already know that he is not into you that way so move on. i think this one is a pretty cut and dry case.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    Learn early on the difference between lust and love. Having sex and making love are two very different things.

    Yet there IS a time and place for each.

    Knowing what it is with each guy you "date" is the key. It eliminates the drama and potential heartbreak.
  • mgmt88

    Posts: 56

    Jan 21, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    I feel really bad for you, since you seem to be a really nice guy.

    He's obviously a dumb slut ( like most gays *cough* ) so i think you should delete his number, forget about him and move on.

    You will definitely find someone else.
  • Zaakat

    Posts: 30

    Jan 22, 2013 12:32 AM GMT
    Thank you everyone for your words, they have been really helpful, you have showed me many points to take into account, and almost all comments have one thing in common so I'll be following your advice.

    I love internet, is very nice to have this feeling that even though I am really alone now, there are lots of nice people out there, miles away from me, willing to help an unknown guy in his daily trouble. It's amazing and I'm grateful for that!

    Thank you guys icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2013 12:40 AM GMT
    Él le quiere para el sexo solamente. Encuentre a un hombre que le quiera para el hombre que usted es. Así usted será feliz.