It's been a weird few months - I ended a two year relationship last summer and then went on a few dates with a local guy. I then decided to come out - he had nothing to do with this decision.

Thing fizzled out after a few weeks - I've never really worked out why - and I met someone else and so did he. Bizarrely, we kept in contact and met nearly every week - he's cabin crew so is often away for a few days at a time, but he always made the effort to see me despite him having a few days at home at any given time. One time, over dinner, he said that "whenever he meets a nice guy, he puts up barriers" (not specifically referring to me).

Over the months, we've become very close, and get on really well. Just before Christmas, we went out for some drinks and ended up in bed together that night and had round two in the morning. When I asked what this meant for us, he said "to go with the flow and see what happens". That next day, we both ended the relationships we had with the other guys.

Since then, we've met up four times - drinks, coffee, country walk, cinema - and last week, when I was unwell, he came back straight off his flight and took my to the doctors.

We text more or less daily, sometimes exchanged over 30 messages a day and speak at least once a week on the phone as well as seeing each other.

There's been no sex since that one time, but when we part he kisses me on the lips and therefore I'm not sure if we're meeting up as mates or dating.

Whenever we seem to get closer in an emotional way, it feels like he puts up a barrier to stop us getting closer and I feel pushed away.

Given his job, it's clear he makes me a priority and cares about me, and we get on exceptionally well. I know I should speak to him but I am shy and lack confidence and from knowing him, he is even more so and very insecure.

I just wondered am I wasting my time here and does he just want to be friends? Should I be concerned that there's been no sex since we last went out into town? How do I get him to realise that I am a decent guy and I'm not out to hurt him and how do I break down those barriers?

Any advice greatly appreciated.