Fitness Discrimination, especially in LGBT circles

  • Camz03

    Posts: 91

    Jan 22, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    In line with some recent threads about discrimanation about biphobia and transgenders now finally becoming recognised in the DSM etc I wanted to ask about...

    Discrimination you face because you're an active gay man. By this I mean you find that other gay men insult you or try to passover your fitness and healthy lifestyle as unimportant.

    Do what extent does this happen to you? Why do you think it happens?

    Personally:
    It's happened to me all my life. My mother is into holistic therapy and think I'm screwing up my body. My friends mock me that I never make progress because we all know gym is a steady process, not an overnight solution. Other gay guys at clubs and at my university assume it somehow makes me conceited, a douchebag, selfish, that I think I am somehow above them.

    I just carry on with it because fitness is so important to me. I crave it and enjoy it. I try to ignore them, but it is frustrating to feel I'm already a part of such a small community - the gay fitness community is even smaller. Just interested if anyone else experiences this.
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    Jan 22, 2013 10:39 PM GMT
    I don't see the issue...are you saying people hate you because you're beautiful?
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    Jan 22, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    I was addicted to sport before to have pubes, and I'm not getting any better.
    But I do like, and need, to spend time with people who are not like me.

    My partner is the son of a sport teacher, and reacted by rejecting everything sport related.

    I find it good for me that most my friend, and my partner, don't understand what it mean to me. It keep me grounded, protect me from vanity.

    But as I'm 50yo, and no longer 20yo, I have several of them wonder if they should not have invested more in their body ;-)

    Just do what feel right for you, use peer pressure when it helps you, ignore it when it push you to become what you are not.
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    Jan 22, 2013 10:50 PM GMT
    Every once in a while someone picks on me about being into fitness. I remind that person how fat s/he is and go on my merry way.

    After all, around here, NOT being into fitness is taboo.
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Jan 22, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    Camz03 saidIn line with some recent threads about discrimanation about biphobia and transgenders now finally becoming recognised in the DSM etc I wanted to ask about...

    Discrimination you face because you're an active gay man. By this I mean you find that other gay men insult you or try to passover your fitness and healthy lifestyle as unimportant.

    Do what extent does this happen to you? Why do you think it happens?

    Personally:
    It's happened to me all my life. My mother is into holistic therapy and think I'm screwing up my body. My friends mock me that I never make progress because we all know gym is a steady process, not an overnight solution. Other gay guys at clubs and at my university assume it somehow makes me conceited, a douchebag, selfish, that I think I am somehow above them.

    I just carry on with it because fitness is so important to me. I crave it and enjoy it. I try to ignore them, but it is frustrating to feel I'm already a part of such a small community - the gay fitness community is even smaller. Just interested if anyone else experiences this.


    not sure if this is really a thing. any amount of discrimination toward active and fit gay men is more than offset by the privileges they hold.
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    Jan 22, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    I've never heard of the bigotry you've described. I don't see why anyone would show bigotry to you because you're fit. I don't get it. Also, you mentioned at the university and clubs that people say you're conceited and a douche. Are you conceited? And how do you know these people call you these names?
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    Unfit people sometimes do it as a pre-emptive strike in case I am going to point out they are unfit (I'm not). Usually they say I am boring without having spoken to me. Not sure how best to react, I normally just start talking to someone else.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    My guess is that folks' grousing and negative remarks about that are indications of their own jealousy or lack of discipline.

    Or just plain ignorance.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:01 PM GMT
    There will always be nay sayers around. Just keep forging the path that you see right for yourself...As long you are being and doing good around, let no say ill about your fitness regiment.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:03 PM GMT
    It's just easier to relate to others when you have common interests. Fitness and proper nutrition are big part of my life (i.e. so much of my daily life revolves around working out and eating right), but is not necessarily as important to others. So, it's hard to relate to others. I agree that sometimes people may misconstrue such situations as me showing off. There's nothing I can do about it.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 22, 2013 11:06 PM GMT
    Other people's issues are not mine and are none of my business.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:09 PM GMT
    that's funny - I always thought it was the other way around in the gay community. If you're not ripped then you get left behind...
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:09 PM GMT
    The only thing I run into sometimes is if I decline an alcoholic beverage at a party or gathering of some sort. Many times gay men, and a lot of my straight friends, look at you like icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

    This is only relevant because I decline drinks sometimes for workout purposes.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:10 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidI don't see the issue...are you saying people hate you because you're beautiful?


    Yea I think this is exactly what he is saying.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:11 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidI don't see the issue...are you saying people hate you because you're beautiful?


    That seems to be what he's saying.

    I never heard of anyon mocking someone for working out and being really into their bodies all the time.
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:31 PM GMT
    * giant eye roll *
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    Jan 22, 2013 11:33 PM GMT
    I've had people yell at me on grindr because I wouldn't sleep with them BC they were out of shape haha. I don't call it discrimination I call it hating, cause thats what it is.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Jan 23, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    Sorry op but this seems ridiculous. I think that any fitness related bigotry in the gay community is heavily leveled against those who are out of shape rather than the reverse.

    Your post seems a little self congratulatory. If people are calling you a douche, i suggest you approach being in great shape with a little grace and humility.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2013 12:19 AM GMT
    Um... no...

    I've had sloppy fat guys go off on me because I politely declined their advances. But that's something different. (Basically, it's them being pathetically hypocritical.)

    Well, maybe the fact that stores don't sell clothes that fit people who aren't pear-shaped.
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    Jan 23, 2013 12:30 AM GMT
    The next time you turn down somebody for being overweight, think about what you just did.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Jan 23, 2013 12:33 AM GMT
    Yeah, I think it depends on where one lives. Where I live, there are some fit gay guys, but most are sort of "fake" fit, meaning they go to the gym, but they smoke like chimneys and drink like fish. When I duck out early from a social event or meeting friends at a bar because I have a race or an early ride or run the next day, they roll their eyes and light up another cigarette.
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    Jan 23, 2013 12:39 AM GMT
    Exercise is best as an activity; when it becomes an all-encompassing ethos, it can get very grating to laypeople. I honestly don't think that I could spend an hour in a room with some of these slack-jawed lifestyle gurus and overly-chipper infomercial types without wanting to drive nails through their heads.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jan 23, 2013 12:44 AM GMT
    And here I thought it was the other way around.
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    Jan 23, 2013 12:46 AM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidthat's funny - I always thought it was the other way around in the gay community. If you're not ripped then you get left behind...


    This +1,000,000,000

    When I saw the title of this thread what you posted above was what I thought this thread was about. I was surprised it was about the complete opposite.
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Jan 23, 2013 12:58 AM GMT
    I have not had that experience, although I have had friends voicing genuine concerns about whether my worout habits are healthy. I'm in my early forties, and I know fully well that I don't recover and heal as fast any more as when I was twenty. So I sometimes get questions along the lines of why are you still lifting so much weights / wrestle / run treacherous trails at your age? Wasn't the last time you pulled a muscle or had shin splints bad enough? But this is out of genuine concern for me.

    I get the message, and I'm keenly aware that limiting injuries and allowing myself enough recovery time is limiting what I can do in the gym, on the mat, on the trails, or in the ocean. I try to walk a fine line here; I think I get it roughly right, but certainly not everyone understands.