Tired of being Mr. Niceguy...ever wanna be an asshole??

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    Sep 27, 2008 2:11 AM GMT
    I have always been described as "handsome" hes so "nice", hes so "sweet"!
    I am so sick of it.

    I have been mean to my share of guys in my "i hate men" phases but I am tired of being the nice guy and feeling like I am being taken advantage of and finishing last.

    I had a friend just tell me the other day that I needed to hang around an asshole and pick up some pointers from them and I think hes right. I do stand up for my self when I cant take it anymore but I am tired of feeling like I am only good up to a certain point to people, and I am not good enough, or important enough to carry a relationship to the next level, as far as living together and etc.

    What am I doing wrong, should I just start being an arrogant prick?
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    Sep 27, 2008 5:01 AM GMT
    I got this when i was in college with all the girls. I was always so "hot" after the girl had been friends with me or after they denied me a hook up....it was for the best I guess. I really didnt want to hook up with them...I was just doing it so no one would figure out my secret. One time a girl came to basically have sex with my friend. I wanted to prove a point and was a complete dick to her....she was all over me. So sometimes it works...I dont know why...I cant stand assholes.
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    Sep 27, 2008 7:42 AM GMT
    it takes work to be an asshole or to be a bitch! i should know, it took me years LOL! but in your case, why change? dont be someone youre not; being fake is worse than being difficult. theres a difference between being a good guy and a scapegoat or a placemat. be nice to a point. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 27, 2008 7:57 AM GMT
    Hey, I am a total sweety by heart...but have LOADS of fun looking like an Assholeicon_exclaim.gificon_wink.gif
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    Sep 27, 2008 8:37 AM GMT
    redbull saidI have always been described as "handsome" hes so "nice", hes so "sweet"!
    I am so sick of it.

    I have been mean to my share of guys in my "i hate men" phases but I am tired of being the nice guy and feeling like I am being taken advantage of and finishing last.

    I had a friend just tell me the other day that I needed to hang around an asshole and pick up some pointers from them and I think hes right. I do stand up for my self when I cant take it anymore but I am tired of feeling like I am only good up to a certain point to people, and I am not good enough, or important enough to carry a relationship to the next level, as far as living together and etc.

    What am I doing wrong, should I just start being an arrogant prick?


    Dear REDBULL,
    If you aren't a viscious and vindictive person by nature, there is no reason to start now. Being even tempered, cool, calm and collected under pressure, is a SUPERIOR STRENGTH. Any two bit piece of trailer park trash can have a "bad attitude" and fly into some queeny little hissey-fit,but it take greater strength and resolve to maintain your composure.
    If you know how to stand up for yourself when it matters, that is what is important. Continue to be a nice guy, just get what is truely yours. If you feel you are being cheated or taken on something, by all means let loose the sum total of all the wrongs you have endured.......yes I did edit this...Sporty_G
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    Sep 27, 2008 8:40 AM GMT
    workingman said it takes work to be an asshole or to be a bitch! i should know, it took me years LOL! but in your case, why change? dont be someone youre not; being fake is worse than being difficult. theres a difference between being a good guy and a scapegoat or a placemat. be nice to a point. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 27, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
    Sporty_g said
    redbull saidI have always been described as "handsome" hes so "nice", hes so "sweet"!
    I am so sick of it.

    I have been mean to my share of guys in my "i hate men" phases but I am tired of being the nice guy and feeling like I am being taken advantage of and finishing last.

    I had a friend just tell me the other day that I needed to hang around an asshole and pick up some pointers from them and I think hes right. I do stand up for my self when I cant take it anymore but I am tired of feeling like I am only good up to a certain point to people, and I am not good enough, or important enough to carry a relationship to the next level, as far as living together and etc.

    What am I doing wrong, should I just start being an arrogant prick?


    Dear REDBULL,
    If you aren't a viscious and vindictive person by nature, there is no reason to start now. Being even tempered, cool, calm and collected under pressure, is a SUPERIOR STRENGTH. Any two bit piece of trailer park trash can have a "bad attitude" and fly into some queeny little hissey-fit,but it take greater strength and resolve to maintain your composure.
    If you know how to stand up for yourself when it matters, that is what is important. Continue to be a nice guy, just get what is truely yours. If you feel you are being cheated or taken on something, by all means let loose the sume toal of oalll the erong yoi hsbr



    couldnt have said it better sportyicon_exclaim.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Sayrnas

    Posts: 847

    Sep 27, 2008 10:44 AM GMT
    Ever try being blatantly honest and saying what you are actually thinking?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 27, 2008 10:48 AM GMT
    Sounds to me like you have the "Nice Guys Finish Last" Syndrome

    But you don't have to become an asshole for that to change
    You're more introspective than most people and tend to be more empathetic of others feelings
    (Most guys who call themselves Nice usually are)
    But you need to become more in touch with YOUR self-interests

    You have to start realizing when someone is intruding in on you AT THAT TIME
    and stand up for yourself when that happens

    Perfect example is the political debates we have here on RJ right now

    But you need to have one in person
    the give and take ... and not allowing someone to get away with saying something stupid or what you know is incorrect is exactly what you need to do

    .... or you could go and live in NYC for two months that will straighten you out right away icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 27, 2008 11:34 AM GMT
    No one can be really happy with himself unless he feels free to be himself.

    whatever that is, trying to forcechange yourself won't work anyways.
    Nice guys rule btw icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 27, 2008 11:58 AM GMT
    Being nice is good and all but there comes a point and time when being nice just doesn't cut it anymore. Does the phrase "Nice guys finish last mean" anything to anyone?

    I'm not saying one should go out of there to change their enitre personality or anything, however, I am saying you can't always be nice and in certain situations you just have to hammer fall and being somewhat realistic in response in pinch is necessary i.e sometimes a little meaness is actually needed.

    ANYONE can be mean and it doesn't much work. It's harder to be turn the other cheek and not be mean to some people es[ecially when they ask for it.

    Nice guys only finish first in Nice world and clearly Nice world doesn't exsist in this universe so I say go with the flow. You don't need to hang out with an asshole to be an asshole. Just catch someone off guard with a comment or two and take it from. If someone is gonna try and take advantage of you that doesn't mean you have to ne bice about it. Come correct and represent yourself. Too much niceness can be considered a weakness which is why you probably feel like people are always taking advantage of you. Instead of saying yes to something when people expect you should switch it up and say No for change.
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    Sep 27, 2008 12:36 PM GMT
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    Sep 27, 2008 12:44 PM GMT
    There are already enough jerks in the world. Why increase their number? And do you really want to be around someone because they appreciate your arrogance? (An arrogance that isn't even a genuine part of your personality for that matter?)

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    Sep 27, 2008 12:58 PM GMT
    I know you all are right, and it is my fault if I let someone take advantage of me, it just seems that people will try harder to take advantage of a nice guy before they would a asshole, it seems theres more of a fight.

    Ive had guys tell me thats why they fell in love with me because of my good nature and heart, but then they are the ones that always think that Brian (thats me) will always be there to forgive, forget, and pick up the pieces, it gets real old.
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    Sep 27, 2008 1:02 PM GMT
    cat
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    Sep 27, 2008 1:25 PM GMT
    I think there is a difference between standing firm and not taking any shit from someone who dishes it, and being and asshole. Trust me, the world doesn't need anymore assholes. To me it sounds like you just need to find someone who appreciates whatever good qualities you have (ps. have that asshole magnet you have removed surgically if necc.)
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    Sep 27, 2008 1:32 PM GMT
    Hang around here. I'm sure you will learn. I've learnt a lot over the past year. And I am the original Mr nice guy.

    I talked about an experience I truly had in 1999, and an amazing one too, and all the bashing I got for it here, and I had to defend myself. A new Pattison was born from it.

    Now I am able to play with the best of em, if not better!

    A person above me. Is now full of contempt for One, as One dared to talk about the negative effects Americanism had had on my country Oz, and we are not the ones in a recession at the moment either.

    Out of contempt he has started two threads just for me, to insight hate. means I'm winning. icon_biggrin.gif

    It was here, that the Only fag in the Village was born.

    yet my work still brings out the Mr nice guy, and at work I am adored.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 27, 2008 1:41 PM GMT
    Brian (thats me) will always be there to forgive, forget, and pick up the pieces, it gets real old.

    No one says that Have to Forgive....Forget...or Pick up the pieces

    If you do none of those things ... you still won't be an asshole
    but if you always do them... people will always expect that from you
    and act out accordingly ...Get my drift?
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    Sep 27, 2008 2:37 PM GMT


    Redbull, you're a completely adorable man. Don't change that. As for being Mr Nice Guy - of course and always.

    Here's a few tips :
    Tact: Telling someone to go to hell in such a way that they anticipate the trip.

    Kill 'em with kindness.

    If you want to find out what someone is really like, give 'em power over you and watch what they do with it. If they abuse you emotionally or otherwise, tell them that you gave them power over you to find out what they are like, and that now, sadly, you do.

    These are nice guy tools. Use 'em.

    as always, your Buds, us
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    Sep 27, 2008 2:48 PM GMT
    I was sick of being the nice guy in high school... I changed a bit. I didn't stop being nice, but I made sure people were deserving of it.

    Stopped letting people walk over me. I have "asshole" days I think we all do. but you don't have to be mean to demand more self respect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2008 3:18 PM GMT
    I'm an asshole.


    And I love it!
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    Sep 27, 2008 3:19 PM GMT
    Fable saidI'm an asshole.


    And I love it!


    Duuuuuuuuude you are so nice lol.
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    Sep 27, 2008 3:39 PM GMT
    redbull saidI have always been described as "handsome" hes so "nice", hes so "sweet"!
    I am so sick of it.
    What am I doing wrong, should I just start being an arrogant prick?

    OMG redbull, it's like you took this right out of my life. I can't tell you how many friends I've told "that's it, starting tomorrow I'm going to be an asshole, I'm tired of just being so nice".

    It really gets tiring when you're trying to establish a relationship with someone other than one that requires a listening ear and a compassionate tone. I want someone to get close with and "friends" don't do that (so I've been told). I know I could never change, since it's not in my demeanor but it certainly is frustrating to have guys constantly tell you how nice you are and that hanging would be fun but anything more would jeopardize that friendship.... screw the friendship, I want to find the same type of guy that wants to be a friend for more! So I just keep looking....in a "nice" way!
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    Sep 27, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gif
    eb925guy said
    redbull saidI have always been described as "handsome" hes so "nice", hes so "sweet"!
    I am so sick of it.
    What am I doing wrong, should I just start being an arrogant prick?

    OMG redbull, it's like you took this right out of my life. I can't tell you how many friends I've told "that's it, starting tomorrow I'm going to be an asshole, I'm tired of just being so nice".

    It really gets tiring when you're trying to establish a relationship with someone other than one that requires a listening ear and a compassionate tone. I want someone to get close with and "friends" don't do that (so I've been told). I know I could never change, since it's not in my demeanor but it certainly is frustrating to have guys constantly tell you how nice you are and that hanging would be fun but anything more would jeopardize that friendship.... screw the friendship, I want to find the same type of guy that wants to be a friend for more! So I just keep looking....in a "nice" way!

    You sure they werent just saying that to get closer to the monkey? ... icon_rolleyes.gif

    Being one who has had the dubious honor of being out with you, may I suggest that you try being less pissy and maybe you will get farther. ....oh and putting out might help!!! ... icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 27, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    It's really easy to get people to think you're an ass: just ignore them. Don't remember people's names, don't acknowledge them when they try to get your attention, act like you don't remember them and don't really care that you don't remember them. Be really short in conversation with anyone who is nice to you.

    It takes very little effort, actually.