Private Journal

  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 25, 2013 7:14 AM GMT
    One thing that I love more than anything is my Private Journal (Johnny). I talk to a lot of people but sometimes I just like to write my thoughts down. Does anyone else here keep a journal?

    This is Johnny!

    74677_10200239411769829_2003775013_n.jpg

    Here is quick entry I wrote one day that I'd like to share. It's about someone who was once my everything. I still think about him every now and then. I am however a different person and could never be with him again. I love him but I am no longer in love with him.

    Oct 20.2012

    Memories

    Memories fade
    Yet, there you remain.
    Forever unchanged.
    We drift through,
    Eternal time and space.
    To a familiar place,
    Where I was once,
    Content.



  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Jan 25, 2013 7:27 AM GMT
    I used to keep private journals in the past, but now I just do lots of drawing more so than writing. Though writing down thoughts can definately feel therapeutic..
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 25, 2013 8:41 AM GMT
    I do a lot of writing. Can't say I have a specific notebook or journal I write in daily. Nothing like that. I have lots of notebooks scattered all over the place. I always keep one with me. I've been writing in various notebooks for many, many years. The one place I'm disciplined about it is keeping track of my workouts and notes on that. But I have some notebooks that go back to the 70s. Occasionally I'll open one and read it but seldom. It is interesting to see how my thinking has changed over the years, though.

    Most of my writing is done on the computer. I even have writer's software for stories I'm developing based on my life experience. But most of my writing is in emails and forums such as this. I've tried starting a blog but that seemed too isolated and required regular posting... something I don't do unless there is something to respond to such as this topic. I like the idea that people read what I'm writing even if they disagree with me or find it tl;dr.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 25, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    Wow, Mike that is really cool. I like how when I write, I can see the difference in how my way of thinking was different as well!
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    Jan 25, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    MikeW saidI do a lot of writing. Can't say I have a specific notebook or journal I write in daily. Nothing like that. I have lots of notebooks scattered all over the place. I always keep one with me. I've been writing in various notebooks for many, many years. The one place I'm disciplined about it is keeping track of my workouts and notes on that. But I have some notebooks that go back to the 70s. Occasionally I'll open one and read it but seldom. It is interesting to see how my thinking has changed over the years, though.

    Most of my writing is done on the computer. I even have writer's software for stories I'm developing based on my life experience. But most of my writing is in emails and forums such as this. I've tried starting a blog but that seemed too isolated and required regular posting... something I don't do unless there is something to respond to such as this topic. I like the idea that people read what I'm writing even if they disagree with me or find it tl;dr.


    I can tell that you do a lot of writing because it's done very well. I like reading your posts because there's no ambiguity and they are well-thought of.
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    Jan 25, 2013 1:47 PM GMT
    Never again! My mom found my journal when I was a teenager. I came home to find my dad ready to kill me and my mom sobbing in the dining room. They read the part about me smoking pot and how I was in love with my friend Carl. I was so angry and scared, I just lied and told them I was writing a screen play. icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 25, 2013 5:16 PM GMT
    Erik101 said
    MikeW saidI do a lot of writing. Can't say I have a specific notebook or journal I write in daily. Nothing like that. I have lots of notebooks scattered all over the place. I always keep one with me. I've been writing in various notebooks for many, many years. The one place I'm disciplined about it is keeping track of my workouts and notes on that. But I have some notebooks that go back to the 70s. Occasionally I'll open one and read it but seldom. It is interesting to see how my thinking has changed over the years, though.

    Most of my writing is done on the computer. I even have writer's software for stories I'm developing based on my life experience. But most of my writing is in emails and forums such as this. I've tried starting a blog but that seemed too isolated and required regular posting... something I don't do unless there is something to respond to such as this topic. I like the idea that people read what I'm writing even if they disagree with me or find it tl;dr.


    I can tell that you do a lot of writing because it's done very well. I like reading your posts because there's no ambiguity and they are well-thought of.


    + 1
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 25, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidNever again! My mom found my journal when I was a teenager. I came home to find my dad ready to kill me and my mom sobbing in the dining room. They read the part about me smoking pot and how I was in love with my friend Carl. I was so angry and scared, I just lied and told them I was writing a screen play. icon_redface.gif

    That is a GREAT story! Seriously, that is the kind of thing that adds color to a story, say, about a teenager growing up. One (by no means the primary one but one) of the reasons I hang out on forums such as this is to read other people's anecdotes about their lives. Incredible material for a writer! I also enjoy swapping life stories with people. Art_Deco and I have been doing a bit of that via RJ mail. icon_smile.gif

    Thanks to TheAlchemixt, Erik101 (and ETA neffa), though icon_redface.gif I appreciate it icon_smile.gif I

    What is difficult for people to grasp is that I was practically illiterate until I was around 25 or 30. (I dropped out of college after my freshman year and English was always my worst subject.) In high school I would get As over Fs on my written assignments. A for content, F for form. I could 'think' (sort of) but I couldn't spell worth shit (still can't but we have software for that now!) and I hadn't a clue how to punctuate. I still don't know how to diagram a sentence. In RL I'm terribly noun challenged (seriously). I can barely remember my own name half the time and frequently can't think of the name of a person, place or thing whenever I start to say it. Makes me look and sound really stupid! icon_confused.gif

    Whenever I had to write a paper in school I'd write the same first sentence over and over and over again in various ways. I just couldn't get the words to flow or 'go' anywhere. Words, especially written ones, had never been my friends. In the first grade I'd decided my teachers were trying to brain wash me through language and so I deliberately refused to pay attention or learn this shit.

    That didn't begin to change until the 80s and word processors were invented. (You guys may be too young to even know about them. Pre-computer, sort of like typewriters with memory but no real computational ability.) Once I had a word processor I began to journal and that increased my ability to get the words in order and out where I and others could see them. When computers and the internet came along, my writing ability increased. Now, as you see, it is difficult to get me to STFU. I also type *very* fast.

    Since I'm no longer a painter, I'd *like* to become a writer -- fiction and memoir. But having been a painter, a real artist, I know that writing fiction is an art and a difficult one to do well. It isn't something that comes naturally to me at all. I don't call myself "a writer" because I'm not (even though I write a lot). It's one thing to 'tell' a story (about how the First Baptist Church burned to the ground the day I was to be baptized, for example) but it is quite another thing to create an imaginary world in the mind of a reader where they can experience through their inner sensations the life of the story being told.

    I would love to be able to write a novel based on my last relationship, living with a lover who literally went insane and had to be institutionalized. Told well, it would make for fascinating reading. The underlying plot involving two men who were in love at first sight and began a relationship that slowly devolved into madness, each unintentionally (and against their own best efforts) deeply re-wounding the other psychologically. Imagine lots of hot steamy sex including multiple partners, drugs, violence, past-life regressions, death wishes and excruciating emotional pain. Yep, definitely novel material! lol But it would take a master story teller to do it right and I don't know if I'll ever become that.

    I'm starting with simpler stories first. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 25, 2013 6:34 PM GMT
    Well, I don't. It's possible that I may be too parallel. I type up a lot of random ideas and outlines for stuff, but they end up in a lot of different files that are totally disorganized. One problem is recording all of this stuff on discompatible media. Some of it is text, some photographs, some diagrams... Years ago, I tried importing all of this stuff into a huge microshaft Word file, and it just ended up becoming corrupted and unreadable. icon_mad.gif

    For work, of course each project gets its own notebook. Same problem. Entries can be text, dictated sound files, photographs, and (most often) data output from some instrument that has its own proprietary format. Each project ends up with some computer files, a couple of bound notebooks, and a little box of obsolete media cartridges, a few rock samples, and a hundred cultures in a freezer. Which then sits on a shelf for ten years, until somebody throws it away.

    I keep making resolutions to devise a better way to organize this stuff. I did spend a day over the holidays, trying to come up with a decent format for a ship's log for my boat.
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    Jan 25, 2013 7:36 PM GMT
    I have been keeping a journal since 2000. It was suggested by my therapist at the time. I wrote everything in it. Thoughts, feelings, the beginning, middle and end of my relationship. I sat and watched all of it go up in flames, page by page Dec. 31st. It was time to let go and move on. I write very little now.
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    Jan 25, 2013 7:44 PM GMT
    The Alchemixt said: Does anyone else here keep a journal?


    Writing is one of my favorite things to do. There is something about writing that really helps me with emotional and mental issues. Just being able to express my own thoughts makes a huge difference in my mental and feeling worlds. Topics considered taboo for friends and family magically work themselves out somehow. By the simple act of organizing and sorting words, sentances and phrases so that they make sense on a page; emotions, thoughts and ideas become clarified and more rich. Really, it is not unlike a walk through a forest or mountain glen. Each place observed is full of mystery and wonder. The challenge is conveying that feeling to the reader. In the case of journaling though, I'm looking to find the real meat of the matter, the poo, the nasty icky parts. I've discovered I have a liking for poo. Once the icky stuff is sorted and words are written before me, there is now a satisfying and delicious experience to savor. It makes more sense and I can see more details never noticed before. So, poo is a good thing! But, like MikeW said, once the genie is out, it's hart to STFU. icon_biggrin.gif

    Erik101 said,
    MikeW said,

    I do a lot of writing. Can't say I have a specific notebook or journal I write in daily. Nothing like that. I have lots of notebooks scattered all over the place. I always keep one with me. I've been writing in various notebooks for many, many years. The one place I'm disciplined about it is keeping track of my workouts and notes on that. But I have some notebooks that go back to the 70s. Occasionally I'll open one and read it but seldom. It is interesting to see how my thinking has changed over the years, though.

    Most of my writing is done on the computer. I even have writer's software for stories I'm developing based on my life experience. But most of my writing is in emails and forums such as this. I've tried starting a blog but that seemed too isolated and required regular posting... something I don't do unless there is something to respond to such as this topic. I like the idea that people read what I'm writing even if they disagree with me or find it tl;dr.


    I can tell that you do a lot of writing because it's done very well. I like reading your posts because there's no ambiguity and they are well-thought of.


    + 1


    +1 More, Love your stories Mr. MikeW icon_biggrin.gif Keep 'em coming!

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    Jan 25, 2013 7:55 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    Scruffypup saidNever again! My mom found my journal when I was a teenager. I came home to find my dad ready to kill me and my mom sobbing in the dining room. They read the part about me smoking pot and how I was in love with my friend Carl. I was so angry and scared, I just lied and told them I was writing a screen play. icon_redface.gif

    That is a GREAT story! Seriously, that is the kind of thing that adds color to a story, say, about a teenager growing up. One (by no means the primary one but one) of the reasons I hang out on forums such as this is to read other people's anecdotes about their lives. Incredible material for a writer! I also enjoy swapping life stories with people. Art_Deco and I have been doing a bit of that via RJ mail. icon_smile.gif

    Thanks to TheAlchemixt, Erik101 (and ETA neffa), though icon_redface.gif I appreciate it icon_smile.gif I

    What is difficult for people to grasp is that I was practically illiterate until I was around 25 or 30. (I dropped out of college after my freshman year and English was always my worst subject.) In high school I would get As over Fs on my written assignments. A for content, F for form. I could 'think' (sort of) but I couldn't spell worth shit (still can't but we have software for that now!) and I hadn't a clue how to punctuate. I still don't know how to diagram a sentence. In RL I'm terribly noun challenged (seriously). I can barely remember my own name half the time and frequently can't think of the name of a person, place or thing whenever I start to say it. Makes me look and sound really stupid! icon_confused.gif

    Whenever I had to write a paper in school I'd write the same first sentence over and over and over again in various ways. I just couldn't get the words to flow or 'go' anywhere. Words, especially written ones, had never been my friends. In the first grade I'd decided my teachers were trying to brain wash me through language and so I deliberately refused to pay attention or learn this shit.

    That didn't begin to change until the 80s and word processors were invented. (You guys may be too young to even know about them. Pre-computer, sort of like typewriters with memory but no real computational ability.) Once I had a word processor I began to journal and that increased my ability to get the words in order and out where I and others could see them. When computers and the internet came along, my writing ability increased. Now, as you see, it is difficult to get me to STFU. I also type *very* fast.

    Since I'm no longer a painter, I'd *like* to become a writer -- fiction and memoir. But having been a painter, a real artist, I know that writing fiction is an art and a difficult one to do well. It isn't something that comes naturally to me at all. I don't call myself "a writer" because I'm not (even though I write a lot). It's one thing to 'tell' a story (about how the First Baptist Church burned to the ground the day I was to be baptized, for example) but it is quite another thing to create an imaginary world in the mind of a reader where they can experience through their inner sensations the life of the story being told.

    I would love to be able to write a novel based on my last relationship, living with a lover who literally went insane and had to be institutionalized. Told well, it would make for fascinating reading. The underlying plot involving two men who were in love at first sight and began a relationship that slowly devolved into madness, each unintentionally (and against their own best efforts) deeply re-wounding the other psychologically. Imagine lots of hot steamy sex including multiple partners, drugs, violence, past-life regressions, death wishes and excruciating emotional pain. Yep, definitely novel material! lol But it would take a master story teller to do it right and I don't know if I'll ever become that.

    I'm starting with simpler stories first. icon_smile.gif


    I would love to read your story it seems very intrestin give a yell when its finished
  • Walt2005

    Posts: 83

    Jan 25, 2013 8:47 PM GMT
    Writing is so rewarding when you can allow yourself to write frankly. When we strip away all of the artifice that the world requires us to wear, when we write from the heart about what is truly at our core, then the writing can be so fulfilling. And the words can move people--just letters on a page or on a computer screen--to act, to feel, to come alive.

    The hard part for me has always been that, if I am writing something that is to be published, I give too much consideration to how I want the reader to take in what I'm writing. Then, the writing sometimes becomes too polished and the candor slips away.

    That's the beauty of writing in a journal. No one ever has to see it. You lay bare your soul, and perhaps come to a fuller understanding of what's driving the impulses that are coloring your waking thoughts, and perhaps shaping your night time dreaming.

    Writing in a journal never has to be revised, unless you want to....





  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 25, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    The most interesting journal I've ever come across was found by a coworker of mine lying on the sidewalk. It was a very thick but small notebook where some pages had other pages glued to them so they folded out to make wider pages. It was red fabric on the outside, soiled, and ragged from years of use.

    What was fascinating was the contents. Written in various colors of ball point pen and pencil there were page after page of descriptions of dog poopings, complete with annotations including date, time, size, color, order, stance of the dog while taking a crap and the author's speculations about the dog's emotional and physical disposition. It was obviously a labor of obsessive compulsive madness that had deep meaning to the author. I can't imagine what he/she felt having lost it.

    To this day I wish that I'd kept it. It was a "found object" work of art worthy of a museum. Unfortunately, however, I don't know what became of it. I assume the lady who found it kept it but I don't know.

    Another interesting side note regarding journaling took place at a conceptual art exhibition I participated in entitled, "Notes on Notes." Beyond the title, the description of what was to be submitted by those artists wishing to participate was left deliberately vague. The idea was to find out what other artists considered "notes," and to display these to the public for everyone's edification.

    My submission consisted of strips of canvas edgings cut from another artist's paintings. I worked as a picture framer and had been stretching and framing canvases that had been push-pined to a wall while being painted. As the paintings were worked on, the artist made scribbles and experimented with different colors and paint consistences along the canvas margins that were subsequently cut off before stretching. I did not ask this artist's permission to submit these strips of canvas for various reasons. For one thing, there was nothing about them that would indicate what artist had made these "notes in the margins" and I felt the anonymity of them added to the curiosity. I displayed these strips of canvas vertically side by side push-pined to the wall at the top.

    I don't remember much of what else was displayed in the exhibit but what I do recall most vividly was an Asian man who came to the show's opening. Some how he and I had gotten into a conversation and he pulled from his hip pocket a thick stack of business cards bound together in the middle with rubber bands. These were business cards he'd picked up at random in various places and he used this stack of cards to keep notes for himself. He'd make a notation on the back of one and then put it at the bottom of the stack. Once the bottom card got to the top, he'd set them aside and begin a new stack. He claimed to have hundreds of such stacks.

    Although this was not a submission to the exhibition, I felt it was the most interesting thing in the show and I told him so. I called the curator over, introduced the two men and showed him the stack of notes. The curator was duly impressed and tried to coax the gallery visitor into submitting the notes for display. He wouldn't have any of that, though, insisting they were not "art". The curator and I disagreed but the gentleman was not to be persuaded.
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    Jan 25, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    Years ago, there was a local newspaper story about a man in Idaho (I think) who for years, compulsively recorded every detail of his day. There was a photo of his den, with dozens of thick binders on shelves that covered a wall. I imagined that they must read "June 4. Sat down to write some notes. Wrote some notes. Wrote some more notes about writing notes."

    My great-granddad had a little notebook that fit in his breast pocket that he used to keep orchard records. Back in the day when trees were huge (and therefore fewer) and before there was required government paperwork. I have looked and looked, but it is not with any of the remaining farm records. All I recall is that there was a graph-paper chart of the orchard layout, in which every tree had a number. Then there was a page of notes for every tree. How many boxes of fruit it produced, what day it was ripe, etc. There must have been diary pages too for operations that covered the whole orchard. There must have been years worth of information in that little book that he kept in his overalls. I would love to find that again.

    I suppose, now, I could do the same thing with an app.
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    Jan 25, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    I have volumes of journals, lol!
    I'm going to start another one soon.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 25, 2013 10:24 PM GMT
    Interesting you should mention that mindgarden. I grew up on a farm and my dad kept journals. To appreciate this it would help to know that my dad (born in 1904) never went to high school. But he kept hard-bound journals of his activities on the farm, usually written just before he retired at night, mostly written in dull pencil slowly with so much pressure he indented several pages beneath. They weren't private journals so I tried reading them but found them disturbingly pragmatic. For example, on the day my older brother (20 years my senior, killed in an automobile accident) was buried he wrote, "We buried Donald today." That was it.

    The man wasn't stupid, albeit uneducated and emotionally disturbed. He was, in fact, an agnostic who mostly ignored my mother's 'Holly Roller' penchant. He didn't know the word "agnostic," of course, or, if he did, he never used it to describe himself. He would read the large old red-leather family Bible kept near his recliner on occasion with his lips moving as he read. After a while, he'd slam the thing down in impatience saying, "How anyone can believe that stuff is beyond me." In a family discussion on religion I once asked him if he believed in God and he said, "No one can know about such things so why bother thinking about it?" My mom, hearing this, insisted that of course he did. She didn't want me getting any "wrong ideas." This was before the Baptist church we attended burned to the ground prior to my baptism.

    I once asked him about his dreams. Mine were vivid and wild. He said, "Oh, not much to tell. Just taking care of the farm." I'm quite certain if there is a "Heaven," he's still farming in it.

  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Jan 25, 2013 10:36 PM GMT
    As a young boy, I was quite a horrible writer. I could not construct a proper sentence---mostly due to the fact that I had very poor sight. In primary school, I use to had people write my notes for me because I could not see the information on the board. I went through those very crucial part of my life not learning the skills that was required of me to be a literate adult.

    When I got to middle school, I had an education assistant who motivated me to become a better reader and writer. She spent ours upon ours reading to me short stories that I should have been read as a kid. This gave me huge incentive to want to learn the skills as well; I became very keen to learn to read and write. She bought me several books and notebooks to take home. From this point on, I have been gradually evolving both as a writer and a reader.

    High school was a very pivotal moment in my life. My grade 9 English teacher was someone who believe we are born with the desire to read and write and what we need is an opportunity to practice those skills. She encourage me to keep journals for myself. This was something that really helped me in overcoming some of the challenges that I went through in high school.

    In about grade 10, I develop interest in poetry. I created an account on a website called allpoetry. This became an avenue for me to express myself .
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jan 26, 2013 1:07 AM GMT
    yeah that was poetry. not a journal entry.
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    Jan 26, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    I don't have a journal but I do have a personal blog. but its been getting very popular lately so it's not very private anymore
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    Jan 26, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    My journals document the last 16 years; it's a nasty habit. I've learned in the last few years there's a tricky balance of avoiding self-absorption and plain documentation.
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    Jan 26, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    I don't have a journal but I have a sketchbook that I hate people seeing. I guess it achieves a similar sort of thing to a written journal.
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    Jan 26, 2013 3:46 AM GMT
    I keep many digital journals. I just love to write. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 26, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    I have a journal I keep under my bed. Mostly I write my name with that cute boy in homeroom's last name and a whole bunch of hearts.
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    Feb 14, 2013 7:42 AM GMT
    I mainly rant in mine how we can make the world a better place and what we can do as people to make our lifes happy as can be and how things in the world are changing and my opinions to what they mean to me.