The Subject of Harmless Neighborhood Gossip...

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 25, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    Fortunately I live in a great neighborhood, a relatively new development.
    Most people are busy with their lives and many raising small children.
    I'm the homeowners association president again this year and meet many new residents. Homes hold their value and many sell quickly.

    Had a new resident move onto my block and had greeted this 50's woman early last fall when she first moved in. Had a chance about 2 weeks ago to really talk to her about our neighborhood and some of the recent issues that have crept up. Interesting, we touched on the Wichita YMCA's and she
    congratulated me on being so fit. "I noticed I had a fit neighbor when I moved in", she said. During the conversation, she again asked if I lived alone (she asked me the same thing the first time we briefly chatted).
    She was very nice, from the Seattle. area and stressed how open minded people make neighborhoods a better place. When I heard that I almost laughed out loud.

    I used the word, "harmless" in the title, I admit, it would be easy for neighbor chatter to go from what I stated as "harmless" to "harmful".

    Have you ever been the subject of neighbor chit chat to any degree?
    Did (do) you view it as harmless or "harmful"?

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    Jan 25, 2013 3:05 PM GMT
    I don't think you were the subject of gossip, since she was talking to you, not about you. I think she was trying to let you know, though not in so many words because she wasn't 100% sure, that she's cool with gay folks. Sounds like a nice neighbor.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 25, 2013 3:16 PM GMT
    Sounds typical for anyone living in suburbia. I'm sure the ladies would talk about you even more of you straight and single.icon_lol.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 25, 2013 3:45 PM GMT
    I'm guessing that she has seen you, shirtless, washing your car & doing yardwork, and has a wide-on for you.


    She has good (if not confused) taste in men icon_exclaim.gif





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    Jan 25, 2013 4:24 PM GMT
    Sounds like a nice lady and an asset to your CID. Seattle is one place where I could probably dress in drag and still stop by the Home Depot on the way to pick up paint equipment. Chaps = Motorcycle? Uh, yeah.
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    Jan 25, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    My tired brain keeps seeing the word harness in the title, and I was going to post,
    'Don't wear a harness when cutting the lawn.' icon_lol.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jan 25, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    The nice lady, in asking if you lived alone and in noting the fitness of your body, was asking for some playtime. Be careful if she starts baking cookies.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 25, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    LJay saidThe nice lady, in asking if you lived alone and in noting the fitness of your body, was asking for some playtime...





    Yes, my thoughts also.




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  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 25, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    chris, if you don't want me talking about your big penis sex dungeon and lilies, don't plant lilies.
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    Jan 25, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    rnch saidI'm guessing that she has seen you, shirtless, washing your car & doing yardwork, and has a wide-on for you.


    She has good (if not confused) taste in men icon_exclaim.gif





    icon_wink.gif


    This! Plus its a harmless chit chat. icon_smile.gif

    You're just adorable Chris!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 25, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    I had a neighbor that moved in next door, nosy as all hell, within the month she knew everything about everyone's business around the entire block and she would try conversing with me telling this and that about all the neighbors. I cut her off immediately and did my best to avoid any conversations with her. I don't want to know every aspect of my neighbors business unless they themselves choose to tell me. And I know I could not trust her to keep anything I might consider confidential to herself. I'm pretty sure, after a time, most did what ever they could to avoid her. Her husband left her, and one day she told me she ran into him and I guess he asked about me how I was doing or something and she told me that she told him that I had men coming in and out of my house all the time, then she laughed and said she was just kidding. No one ever comes to my house except relatives, so for her to even insinuated such a thing really upset me. She finally left the neighborhood .... there were no sad faces.
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    Jan 25, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    You haven't experienced neighborhood gossip until you've lived in a 100+ unit high rise condo where a substantial percentage of the residents are widowed ladies in their 60s and 70s. My partner and I used to joke there that the association should eliminate the guards and just put surveillance cameras that the residents could monitor though closed circuit. It would be the most watched station at the condo! icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 25, 2013 5:57 PM GMT
    Sounds like you live in white bread suburbia. UGH! I was dying a slow death in such an environment. Moved to the city and love the activity, nightlife, social life, and the the fact that peple are too busy enjoying life than to worry about what their neighbors are doing, it their shrubs are too tall, grass is too tall, house isn't painted the approved colours. But to each his own.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jan 25, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    When I lived out in the 'burbs, I frequently took out of town TDY work assignments.

    Once, the outdoor spotlight that illuminated the front of my house (and the neighbor's also) burnt out a bulb.

    By 10 am the next morning my parents had received 3 phone calls about it needing replacement.

    Old people are the BEST security system! They seldom sleep and observe EVERYTHING.


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    Jan 25, 2013 7:00 PM GMT
    a wide on.......


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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2013 7:15 PM GMT
    I live in a small new neighborhood in CA, that for some reason has at least 3 gay houses on each block. One guy on my block dated guys before he married a woman (that looks like a man) 10 years ago. He fooled around with a gay guy on the block. I personally can't stand some of the gay couples around the neighborhood. They seem to just cause more trouble than need be with all the drama...like owning 4 yappy dogs...having verbal fights with neighbors, etc. So there is always gossip going around between all the neighbors but everyone seems to keep to themselves - including their beliefs and prejudices. I've learned to stay out of the gossip since the ones on the block that gossip about other people tend to lose friends quickly. So if anyone is talking about me (or you) it is none of their business. But yes it is fun to be sociable with all your neighbors so they can discover that gay guys are just regular people, bad or good.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jan 25, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    Gossip are breeded through boredom...Both things I don't have time for....
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    Jan 25, 2013 9:06 PM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with it. She was just curious. I am not sure if it matters or not if you live alone. At least she was being friendly. I am glad that I never really bother to think what my neighbor thought about me.
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    Jan 25, 2013 9:21 PM GMT
    Gossip is only harmful if its lies are spread about and the masses believe it. All men want to inevitably make a name for themselves and anyone who values honor doesn't want to be disrespected especially in their neighborhood. As for as me being the subject of chit chat....

    Soon as I learn more Spanish I'll let you know if I'm the subject of the chit chat. icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 25, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    I've had a Gladys Kravitz type in my neighborhoods now and then over the years - living in various places. It does seem that lonely retired women are the culprits in some cases. Also - when you're a good looking, in shape, single guy - tongues are going to wag. Chris - be sure and keep your blinds closed tightly when you've got a guest staying overnight. (You wouldn't want your nosy neighbor to see the things boys do, now would you? Can't risk causing the old girl to have a stroke).
    NOSEY+NEIGHBOR.jpg
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    Jan 25, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    Did she see you mowing the lawn in your black squarecut swimsuit? Probably not - if so, she'd have asked you to mow her lawn.

    I don't know if my neighbors gossip to any extent but I do know that when they don't talk to me they get a wrong idea in their heads which they can easily spread. For example, in the heat of an argument one told me that "that poor old man can't even walk his dogs because of you." This was an instance where the old man, whose name I knew because we're friends, hit his head on the curb because he was dragged by his leashed 90 lb dog who was running after my dogs on my property, because without phoning me first he strayed from the prearranged timeframe we agreed on when I'd keep my dogs in the house. Then I knew I had to engage in gossip myself to effect damage control and learned that some other neighbors shared, at least to my face, my opinion - why would it be my fault when my dogs are on my property and an 86 year old can't manage his too-large dog? Incidentally, after a week off my friend was back to walking his dog, who died shortly thereafter and was replaced by - you guessed it - an even larger, more unmanageable and aggressive one! He'd scoffed at the idea of getting a "small" 50 lb dog.
  • JBinSFO

    Posts: 90

    Jan 25, 2013 10:10 PM GMT
    SO how long did you say you've been living on Wisteria Lane?
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    Jan 25, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    @EagerMuscle: Ouch. I've had (and have) some bad, bad neighbors.

    In town, our back yard borders several other houses. One has two large, untrained, vicious Dalmations. When in the yard, they bark constantly. When our house was under construction, one jumped the chain link fence and cornered one of the construction workers. We called Animal Control. The husband in this house is the same guy who walked by when we first started building, before the foundation was even finished - his only words were, "I can tell this is going to be too big and ugly." Thanks, asshole.

    At the farm, one set of neighbors flies the Confederate flag and got offended when we told them that they couldn't fish our ponds or drive their ATV all over our farm any more. (The 95-year-old woman who lived there previously did not care.) Until we turned the conversation to private property rights, and that changed their tune. The people who own the undeveloped property on the other end were hunting our woods - four hunting stands in our trees, waaay over the property line. Never took them down, after plenty of written notice. We finally removed them ourselves. Luckily, we haven't seen (or heard) them again.

    In our first house in Hawaii, we were having a wall built to replace the tangle of scraps and chicken wire fence that was there. We notified the two sisters who lived there well in advance, apologized for any noise or mess, even took them a little gift. The day comes, the wall goes up - all in a day, pretty fast. That night we get a call "Where are my rocks?" "What rocks? "My father's rocks, they were right by the fence, now they're gone." Panic ensues, turns out the contractors threw away their sentimental rocks that remind them of their father. We apologize profusely. A few weeks later, making chit chat, we ask, "When did your father pass?" "Oh, he's still around, he lives on the Big Island." icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2013 10:30 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Have you ever been the subject of neighbor chit chat to any degree?
    Did (do) you view it as harmless or "harmful"?

    My partner has been on our condo board for 9 years, currently the President. He's always the subject of chit-chat, and sometimes me, too. But not about being gay, since we estimate 70% of the condo residents are gay, the norm.

    (Cue southbeach1500 to make his tiresome catty remarks about my chairing the condo Hurricane Committee)

    The degree of harmlessness of gossip depends on the content, and the agenda of the person(s) spreading the gossip.

    I see 3 things possibly going on in this case, Kansan. One, a neighbor who wants to be in good graces with the Association President. My partner gets a lot of that. Second, a woman who may have some personal interest in you.

    Does she know you're gay? Or even if she does, perhaps she thinks that's negotiable. Some women do, especially the older generation ones.

    Third, simple neighborliness by a woman who is seeking friends. Who's using a little flattery to achieve her goal, that would also apply to the other 2 possibilities, as well.
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    Jan 25, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    mybud saidGossip are breeded through boredom...Both things I don't have time for....


    +1. I just posted about this subject in "what's on your mind?" thread involving my hometown and a new scandal that's being super overplayed because like mybud said- some people have too much time on their hands. Like my dad- he's a super busy guy but he wouldn't have heard about the rumors if not for me finding out through my nosy friends.