What should I do

  • kc524

    Posts: 4

    Jan 26, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    I need some advice about this situation that I'm stuck in. So a brief introduction: I dated this dude in June last year, and we broke up 3 months later and became really close friends.Like see-each-other-everyday that kind of close. Until about a month ago, I received a job offer and moved to NYC. But upon leaving we kind of said we wouldn't see other people and visit each other frequently.

    But now the reality kicks in. icon_confused.gif Cos honestly I don't know where this relationship will be heading to. Plus my brain tells me there are plenty of fish in the sea of New York City. But at the same time, my guts tell me I should wait. Indeed just the thought that we won't be together makes me feel melancholic...alright I'll stop.

    Should I wait for him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2013 9:16 AM GMT
    Perhaps you should ask him & tell him how you feel first!

    but, if you ignore & meet others without his awareness, it might come under 'Cheating' !
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    Jan 26, 2013 2:59 PM GMT


    "So a brief introduction: I dated this dude in June last year, and we broke up 3 months later and became really close friends.Like see-each-other-everyday that kind of close. Until about a month ago, I received a job offer and moved to NYC. But upon leaving we kind of made a pact that we won't see other people, and we will visit each other frequently. "


    You guys broke up and are now just friends. You're both not going to consider a relationship with anyone else because you're both hoping you'll both suddenly feel in love again?

    intrigued,

    -Doug
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 26, 2013 4:20 PM GMT
    kc524 saidI need some advice about this situation that I'm stuck in. So a brief introduction: I dated this dude in June last year, and we broke up 3 months later and became really close friends.Like see-each-other-everyday that kind of close. Until about a month ago, I received a job offer and moved to NYC. But upon leaving we kind of made a pact that we won't see other people, and we will visit each other frequently.

    But now the reality kicks in. icon_confused.gif Cos honestly I don't know where this relationship will be heading to. Plus my brain tells me there are plenty of fish in the sea of New York City. But at the same time, my guts tell me that since I have planned the rest of my life with him, I should wait and stick to it. Indeed just the thought that we won't be together makes me feel melancholic icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif And at night when I think of the time he's in my arms...icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif alright I'll stop.

    Should I wait for him?


    As my late grandmother would have said, "You have to shit or get off the pot."

    Talk to him, tell him how you feel and either end the romantic relationship for good or restart it with a plan to reunite.
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    Jan 26, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    "So a brief introduction: I dated this dude in June last year, and we broke up 3 months later and became really close friends.Like see-each-other-everyday that kind of close. Until about a month ago, I received a job offer and moved to NYC. But upon leaving we kind of made a pact that we won't see other people, and we will visit each other frequently. "


    You guys broke up and are now just friends. You're both not going to consider a relationship with anyone else because you're both hoping you'll both suddenly feel in love again?

    intrigued,

    -Doug


    I know. The suspense is killing me. I wonder how this will all turn out.

    The-irony-of-being-a-lonely-octopus.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2013 2:39 AM GMT
    I wouldn't...but then again I just got burned in a situation similar to that. Just got played for months, now I'm turning the tables on him. If that's how he wants to do it. icon_wink.gif

    You should go to NYC and whatever happens happens, you meet someone there I wouldn't turn them down cause of him. Enjoy life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    NYC will tempt you more than you know.
    If you go and "have to be good" the temptation will be even worse.

    Decide what you want/need BEFORE you go, in all honesty, with your man.

    Then live with the decision.

    And have no fear. Life does give second chances.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jan 27, 2013 3:59 AM GMT
    Unless I'm not getting it you broke up and are now good friends...Why would you make such a pact with a friend? Talk to the guy and let him know about your present thoughts...If he's indeed a true friend he'll understand...If he tries head game bullshit...he wasn't a good friend in the first place....
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Jan 27, 2013 4:07 AM GMT
    The problem is you aren't gay .... you are both lesbians.

    I'm with
    Mybudyou broke up and are now good friend


    No need to keep a promise not to see other men with a man who is not your romantic partner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    Honey, live life! They're so many available hot boys and men in NYC. Take advantage icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 2:02 AM GMT
    a promise? not to be rude but a promise like that in 2013 is a hard one to maintain.

    yall not dating
    bestfriends
    everyday kinda thig
    but you moved to nyc
    theres distance
    people grow apart


    so what happens when one of you meet someone else?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    **sigh

    Will gay men ever understand the concept of DATING?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 29, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    You need to spend more time together to determine how you really feel about him, if you can't do that, be satisfied as a friend until you can invest the time to find out more.
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    Jan 29, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    The fact that you broke up leads me to wonder why you want to plan a life together.

    My advice:
    Talk to him. If you both want to be together, then go for it. By now you should both know how you feel about each other and if it'll work. But stay realistic. If you both know it won't work, then stay friends. If you both think it will work, then give it a try.