Can two submissive guys be in a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 7:17 PM GMT
    I like this guy but he is submissive type and so am I. The previous guy I was linked with was independent, distant, and not very romantic. I always needed his attention but he didn't care. I called it off bc I couldn't be with someone like that eventhough our personality was compatible

    Guy I like.. same ex boyfriend as mine as far as personality wise. I do like him but we haven't connected to another level as I would have with someone who is more dominant personality.

    sexual compatiablity- He likes to top and I like being a bottom.. but not sure if sex would be same if I was with someone who is dominant.

    Can two submissive guys be together? I don't know if my attraction with him is only physical...but I think about being with him alot.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 26, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    You won't know until you have sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 7:20 PM GMT
    no
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 9:57 PM GMT


    "Can two submissive guys be together?"

    Yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 10:20 PM GMT
    ryan2013 said
    Can two submissive guys be together? I don't know if my attraction with him is only physical...but I think about being with him alot.

    Many of us wonder if our attraction for a guy is physical, maybe mere lust, with nothing else between us upon which we might build a lasting relationship. But that's independent of your question about 2 submissives being together. The physical attraction conundrum is something that affects us all.

    The question is whether a submissive needs a dom to call the shots in the relationship. Would 2 subs be like a pair of rowboats adrift at sea, with no powerboat to give them direction and tow them to shore?

    But then that depends upon the definition of a dom, and a sub. Does it strictly pertain to sexual matters, or in most other matters in the relationship? Does the guy who calls the shots in the bedroom also call all the other domestic shots, too? Does a sexual sub require a dom for full sexual satisfaction?

    I'm not a sexual dom, but domineering in other ways. It's the way I was born, the way I built my career. And I HATE when that trait intrudes into my domestic relationship. It rips my heart open when a guy tells me I'm taking charge, and walking all over him. Because it's not what I consciously intend, but I do it anyway over time, like a creeping disease.

    In response I've learned to pair myself up with other strong-willed guys, who can stand up to me, who don't let me get away with that crap. Because I will exploit a subordinate personality so quickly it's a crime, and I hate myself for it.

    So then maybe 2 subs together isn't so bad? Perhaps if they developed a way to make joint decisions, run a kind of 2-man democracy, it could work just fine? I dunno, just thinking. But I'm not sure if the sexual component could ever be satisfied, if they need that domination as part of their pleasure. Because if they both need a dom, and neither can provide it, who does?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 26, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    Sure
    th?id=H.4942902609251564&pid=15.1
    th?id=H.4730164315358683&pid=15.1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 11:44 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidSure
    th?id=H.4942902609251564&pid=15.1
    th?id=H.4730164315358683&pid=15.1


    Sub ≠ bottom
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    Hmm... note to self.
    Explore new business model of selling video dom services to sub couples.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 1:23 AM GMT
    I was referring to more of relationship sense than sex. I don't want to get attach to someone if its not going to be for long haul. I guess we will be just friends..
  • reptile18

    Posts: 199

    Jan 28, 2013 6:49 AM GMT
    JOOU said
    AMoonHawk saidSure
    th?id=H.4942902609251564&pid=15.1
    th?id=H.4730164315358683&pid=15.1


    Sub ≠ bottom


    The pics were a metaphor for how they should handle any problems that come up in their relationship. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 28, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    roles are legit, but they are also bullshit.

    many people are more fluid than that.

    i'd venture that any lasting union requires both parties to submit to the idea that they are better as a pair than separate, regardless of any other dynamic they create together

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 28, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    I think you would starve to death deciding where to go for dinner...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 28, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    I really have a hard time imagining "two submissives", just because I'm used to making decisions and I'm a type A personality. Now having said that, just because someone "plays" submissive in the bedroom, especially if he likes being a bottom, it can work.

    If both are just submissive guys... sounds like something is definitely needed, not that it couldn't work...somehow. lol
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 28, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    RedWhiteBlue saidroles are legit, but they are also bullshit.

    many people are more fluid than that.

    i'd venture that any lasting union requires both parties to submit to the idea that they are better as a pair than separate, regardless of any other dynamic they create together



    Yes, that's very true for me. It seems that all my years of dating and relationships that didn't work out were experimental. I didn't know what I wanted until I really committed to one person.
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Jan 29, 2013 2:52 AM GMT
    ryan2013 saidI like this guy but he is submissive type and so am I. The previous guy I was linked with was independent, distant, and not very romantic. I always needed his attention but he didn't care. I called it off bc I couldn't be with someone like that eventhough our personality was compatible

    Guy I like.. same ex boyfriend as mine as far as personality wise. I do like him but we haven't connected to another level as I would have with someone who is more dominant personality.

    sexual compatiablity- He likes to top and I like being a bottom.. but not sure if sex would be same if I was with someone who is dominant.

    Can two submissive guys be together? I don't know if my attraction with him is only physical...but I think about being with him alot.


    This can, in my experience, actually work very well - provided that we're talking really about two submissives, not greedy selfish bottoms. A submissive typically wants to please his partner; that's hardwired into him. And if in order to bring pleasure to his partner he has to take the top in bedroom sometimes, he will happily do so. And if that's how both of them tick, they'll be very happy switching roles to make each other happy. And when it comes to other everyday activities, the same dynamics can work. One will arrange something to do that he knows his partner will enjoy, essentially giving himself the order to do so to make him happy. This can make for a very strong relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    Improbable but not impossible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    Of course. Bert & Ernie.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    No, there can only be one alpha bitch! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    tumblr_lu04ujTO5S1qbl86ko1_500.gif
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jan 29, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    My boyfriend and I might fit that. We occasionally take on the dominant roles as the mood strikes us, but we're both fairly sub. It works fine for us. We don't butt heads much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 3:01 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidOf course. Bert & Ernie.


    LOL.


    But yeah, I do beleive that to "dominant" or "submisive" guys can work out a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 3:02 AM GMT
    Anything is possible. Sure why not
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jan 29, 2013 3:19 AM GMT
    tumblr_lm3kjforp81qii6tmo1_250.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    It might be nice in the beginning, but I feel like it would eventually get boring.icon_neutral.gif You'll never know until you try it though. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 29, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    What movie will you see?

    Where will you eat?

    Where will you live?

    Both most likely passive-aggressive too, so even if one wins at rock, paper, scissors; the other will pout for days--sounds fun.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Jan 29, 2013 4:00 AM GMT
    reptile18 said
    JOOU said
    AMoonHawk saidSure
    th?id=H.4942902609251564&pid=15.1
    th?id=H.4730164315358683&pid=15.1


    Sub ≠ bottom


    The pics were a metaphor for how they should handle any problems that come up in their relationship. icon_razz.gif


    it's a good metaphor "do it together".