Being gay, but having a baby.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    Would it be bad to consider to have a baby with my best friend. We always said we would by the age of 30 if we were not with anyone. icon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jan 26, 2013 9:27 PM GMT
    whats with these arbitrary "deadlines" ppl set for themselves like "well, i guess im 30...and im single....might as well have a baby with some other 30 year old single person"



    womp womp. . . .
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 26, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    That's like not having your cake and not eating it, either.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 26, 2013 9:36 PM GMT
    Import saidwhats with these arbitrary "deadlines" ppl set for themselves like "well, i guess im 30...and im single....might as well have a baby with some other 30 year old single person"



    womp womp. . . .


    Or you could just jump off a bridge on Valentine's Day like everyone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
    So you're basing the most important decision you will ever make based on an arbitrary date? Good plan. icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    I'm thinking more on the lines of the baby having a pops to be able to do sports and activities with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 26, 2013 10:01 PM GMT
    just remember to sell it while the eyes are still blue
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    I guess i'll be one of the few people who will support your decision to have a baby. Who cares if it's a "deadline"

    it's a reasonable deadline in my opinion.. the only thing that will matter is your commitment should you go through with it .icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 4:08 AM GMT
    teyito11 saidI'm thinking more on the lines of the baby having a pops to be able to do sports and activities with.


    I'm going to take a guess that you believe that once you're in your 40's or 50's and decide to have a kid then, you won't be as physically active for your child compared to turning 30. As long as you take care of yourself (watch what you eat, exercise, etc), you'll be physically active well into your 60's. Good luck on your decision to have a child.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 27, 2013 5:10 PM GMT
    I don't understand some gay men's need to "have" a baby. That's clearly not what we are biologically meant to do. If you want to raise a child.. why not adopt?

    Edit: This thought is not just limited to gay men however. Rather, anyone that needs the use of science and medicine to conceive some sort of test tube baby.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:14 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI don't understand some gay men's need to "have" a baby. That's clearly not what we are biologically meant to do. If you want to raise a child.. why not adopt?


    I don't get it either, to be honest. But just as with straight couples seeking fertility treatment, it the genetic imperative.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:14 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidSo you're basing the most important decision you will ever make based on an arbitrary date? Good plan. icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif


    This. Plus the fact that it's an insanely huge financial commitment.
    RedWhiteBlue saidjust remember to sell it while the eyes are still blue
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:16 PM GMT
    If you want to have a baby based on whether or not you're single when you're 30, then you are too stupid to have a baby.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 27, 2013 5:17 PM GMT
    intensity69 said
    TheBizMan saidI don't understand some gay men's need to "have" a baby. That's clearly not what we are biologically meant to do. If you want to raise a child.. why not adopt?


    I don't get it either, to be honest. But just as with straight couples seeking fertility treatment, it the genetic imperative.

    Yep, I just added a little addendum to my statement before. I guess people feel as though they need to leave some sort of legacy and the only way to do it is through the spreading of their genes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:19 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    intensity69 said
    TheBizMan saidI don't understand some gay men's need to "have" a baby. That's clearly not what we are biologically meant to do. If you want to raise a child.. why not adopt?


    I don't get it either, to be honest. But just as with straight couples seeking fertility treatment, it the genetic imperative.

    Yep, I just added a little addendum to my statement before. I guess people feel as though they need to leave some sort of legacy and the only way to do it is through the spreading of their genes.


    or, er, the spreading of their legs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:19 PM GMT
    Well basically you're going to be a father forcefully. You'll have to provide for a kid that you may not be able to attend to more often as if you had one with your future partner. What's this kid going to think? I have parents that were not even in love in the first place, this can cause psychological damage to a kid man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    I think this is the worst reason to have a child (because of a deadline you've set for yourself). You will know when you are ready (if that time actually comes). Think about the financial, emotional, and time commitment having a child requires for the both of you and if you both are wanting to make these commitments. Both must be in this 100%! Like that saying goes "Any man can make a baby...but it takes a real man to stay and raise it".
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 27, 2013 5:26 PM GMT
    "Haayy best frand! Time to haz dat baby of ourzzz!" icon_biggrin.gif

    A child is not a science project. A child is not here for your entertainment.

    Are you ready to give up the next 18+ years (probably many more) of your life for the sole purpose of providing for your kid? Think carefully.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:32 PM GMT
    The decision comes down to this:

    Are you willing to give up everything, have a thankless and nonpaying full time job on top of your other fulltime job, and put yourself second every single time to your child?

    When you say yes, you're ready for kids ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    I hope you have twins icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI don't understand some gay men's need to "have" a baby. That's clearly not what we are biologically meant to do. If you want to raise a child.. why not adopt?

    Edit: This thought is not just limited to gay men however. Rather, anyone that needs the use of science and medicine to conceive some sort of test tube baby.

    Got to agree with you on that... there are so many little children just waiting for someone to love and take care of them in orphan houses. I know the process is heavy and lengthy but it worth the try.

    I am an adopted child, and although I don't look like any of my parents I am as stubborn as my dad and intelligent as my mom. icon_wink.gif I also have a 17 years old daughter... and at 40 I do plan on doing what my parent did for me... give a child a home!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    mplsmike saidIf you want to have a baby based on whether or not you're single when you're 30, then you are too stupid to have a baby.


    +1000
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said"Haayy best frand! Time to haz dat baby of ourzzz!" icon_biggrin.gif

    A child is not a science project. A child is not here for your entertainment.

    Are you ready to give up the next 18+ years (probably many more) of your life for the sole purpose of providing for your kid? Think carefully.


    +1

    And with a "friend"... icon_eek.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:38 PM GMT
    If you have to ask, then you already have some doubt. Don't do it. Children are a huge responsibility that too many people take lightly. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2013 5:39 PM GMT
    I'm glad I have nephews, seeing them every so often fulfills my caring needs. I know how much work goes into raising a kid and I'm not ready for that!