How can you tell if someone else at the gym is gay or into you? besides the obvious

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2007 7:28 PM GMT
    I am very straight acting- i get confused by certain stares at the gym. There are a couple questionable guys I am unsure of. but they seem straight as well. Any advice of what to say to them or how to tell if there is a chance. I dont want to freak anyone out.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Aug 29, 2007 9:28 PM GMT
    I have the same prob at my Gym. I would suggest that you just go for it and get to know a person where you have a good feeling. Ask him if he wants to do something after the gym and the rest will fall into place when its right.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 30, 2007 2:56 AM GMT
    Yep...you'd be surprised where things may go if you ask a guy to go for a run with you or grab a beer :)
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Aug 30, 2007 3:07 AM GMT
    Yup, pretty much a litmus test either way.
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    Aug 30, 2007 4:57 AM GMT
    They hit or touch you when talking to you!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2007 6:35 AM GMT
    antonio_leve: Its easier to sense these things when you STOP ACTING STRAIGHT. That's confusing and freaking ME out.
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    Aug 30, 2007 11:31 AM GMT
    first off. i am tired of that stereotype or category of str8 acting.t here is no such thing. we can be either more masucline of feminine. i am masculine i dont call myself str8 acting. i think people that say they are str8 acting are trying to fit in somewhere in the str8 world or somehow feel better about themselves.

    Now with that said...

    In the gym thats a tuffy. ;) it can be a sword of double edges. i think the one guy that said to go for it where your feeling is right on the money is good advice. BUT! definatley not right after the first instinct. let it ride out for a while and if you think that adam or steve is checking you out everytime then go for it. intro duce yourself and ask if they wanna do something afterwards.

    i think that the hit or touch thing is very obvious especially if they are touching u not on the arms or shoulders.
    Kashmir
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    Aug 30, 2007 11:40 AM GMT

    Ask them if they would be interested in working out together today...

    Ask them if they want to go running with you for a quick 5k...

    Complement them on their technique or work out gear (maybe a cool pair of running shoes or a nice gym bag?) - maybe ask for advice on a couple exercises...

    If they say yes a couple times, ask them if they want to grab a smoothie or a cup of coffee afterward... exchange business cards.

    I think you will find out one way or the other pretty quickly.

    Rob
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    Aug 30, 2007 12:16 PM GMT

    What your "gaydar" tells you? If you live among straights behaving as one of them you are more than ready to get the signals that "shouldn't be there", so go with your feelings, approach as you'll approach a buddy, you are at gym anyways, ask for help doing your bench presses and part from there, if the other guy is also acting straight or is bisexual you'll know after the first week, he'll let you know.

    I lived in Caracas for a year and a lot of men on sight marked me, I was wondering what was wrong with my radar, months later I realized, most of these guys were bisexual, and to them it was so natural, they really weren't acting straight, they were manly, they were natural flirts with women and men alike, the biggest concentration of bisexuals I'd found ever, and venezuelans are so damn hot I can't blame them for romping among them :-P

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2007 3:43 PM GMT
    Check out the other two threads that discuss this same issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2007 4:46 PM GMT
    LOL, what does a "str8acting" man act like? My brothers, it really is time to turn off and tune in.

    Anyway, just because a guy is gay at your gym and so are you, who's to say there's interest. Just because you have that in common means nothing. Now, if you're getting "The Stare," lol, that's a whole other issue.

    My 2, gents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2007 3:28 AM GMT
    just ask him
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Aug 31, 2007 3:59 AM GMT
    Black Wolf you are totally right
    masculine or feminine, just be yourself
    I'm suspicious of guys that hide their personalities' to conform.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 01, 2007 12:28 PM GMT
    We're heading into the "acting" thing again but it has to be said
    when you label yourself as str8 "acting" does that mean you go home from the gym and go into your house and put on a flouncy robe and a pair of F**k me pumps?

    We are what we are - in and out of the gym
    Let's forget the labels
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2007 9:24 PM GMT
    Thanks for all the responses, I apologize to everyone that I offended for using the term straight acting. I should use the words more masculine. I do not change the way I act whether I am at the Gym or not, I always act the same- like myself. I also never assumed that the other guy(s) would be interested if they were gay. I will admit though that its kinda scary to be forward towards one of them, and have a bad reaction- and then still see them every other day at the gym.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2007 9:29 PM GMT
    fu*k me pumps- hahahah
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2007 2:40 AM GMT
    when he gets out of the pool after staring at you, then does a full on show of drying off while posing, an looking dead at you the whole time....that's a good clue
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Sep 13, 2007 5:11 PM GMT
    Okay, that would be extremly obvious.

    Its hard to decide who in the gym is gay/bi/hetero. I dont worry about that stuff. I maybe young, but I am certain about one thing. Things like friends, dates, sex should never be forced, they have to happen and you`ll feel it when it happens. Just trust your instincts. The best guys i meet till now where always at the right place at the right time.

    About this whole str8 acting thing. I guess that it can mean many things(Pretending to like girls, being interested into various sports, not dressing girly,...). This is most often used by those who do not self-identify with the standardized perception of gay men. Because the term invokes negative stereotypes of gay people. The sexual orientation has nothing to do with the interests. Dont act, just be yourself and anybody who doesnt like it isn`t even worth talkin to.
  • art_smass

    Posts: 960

    Sep 13, 2007 5:16 PM GMT
    When he leaves flowers and candy at the foot of your locker.
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    Sep 18, 2007 11:42 AM GMT
    Straight guys never ever use the phrase "str8."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2007 12:16 PM GMT
    itjock has got it about right, say, 'oooh, nice gym bag and running shoes to match!' i think he'll get the picture.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 18, 2007 1:09 PM GMT
    Art,

    What up with flower and candy?. I dont get it. Are they after a guy or a girl. I only like flower in my garden and personally I hate candy. It making me fat. It a real insult to my manhood if any guys trying to seduce me with flower and candy.

    Maybe they should get me some protein supplement , a bodybuilding magazine or a ticket to a kickboxing match, instead. That will get me interested.
    The best way, just wear some tight fitting clothes , flex some muscle , show some bulge , dont bother with deodorant ....now you got my heart pumping.

    Sorry guys , off topic.
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    Sep 18, 2007 1:51 PM GMT
    I think it's when they steal your towel or some article of clothing from you gym bag. If it's something sweaty from your work stolen while you showered, it means you'll be the next in your family to marry. If it's something fresh you brought with you to change into, especially a necktie, it means your firstborn child will be a girl.
  • OutOfEden

    Posts: 100

    Sep 18, 2007 2:44 PM GMT
    As hot as guys can be at the gym, I really don't enjoy people distracting me from my workout. If you're going to address a guy or try to pick him up you should definitely wait until relatively alone in the lockerroom or outside in the parking lot. If you can't get time alone with him in either place then he isn't interested. He would linger and be approachable if he wanted to be. Definitely don't try and strike up conversation on the weight floor or in the middle of a group of friends since you're not sure how he's going to react.
  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Sep 18, 2007 5:17 PM GMT
    Don't really agree with OutofEden....mainly because I believe the gym although a place to get your workouts done...can be a place for social interaction. I've never had anyone react negatively when asking if they needed a spot...matter of fact, its always been greatly appreciated. Like this...simple innocent interaction can spark further interest if its ment to be. Matter of fact...i met my other half of 9 years exactly this way. He was serious as hell...but grabbed my attention every time i saw him....he never said a word to me. One day i saw him lifting a good amount of weight by himself...and whatta know...I asked if he needed a spot...and he more than appreciated it and suddenly he was a new man! 3 months later after being just workout buddies...he finally came out and told me he felt attracted to me. Here we are 9 years later.

    So I'd say just keep the conversation natural and relevant to the gym setting...and treat them as a potential friend...not a potential bf...if it came together well...and you see more interest in him...then maybe take it up another notch.