do you try and conform to a "type"

  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Jan 29, 2013 10:49 AM GMT
    I was out at the Eagle tonight and happened to run into a guy I've met a few times from back home and we got to talking and the subject of "types" of guys came up.

    I think I've always sort of fallen in between different types. I'm blond and have a boyish face, but I'm 6' and 190 and hairy. So I'm too big for guys that go for twinks and I'm too young and soft looking for guys that like jock or bear types. I wish I could say it is all in my head, but it's something I've run across directly when trying to meet people online. If I post a face pic and then tell guys my stats they say I'm not their type. If I post a body pic first and later send a face pick men have said I'm not what their looking for. I don't mean to sound completely insecure, I'm pretty confident in who I am, how I look and what I have to offer....but I struggle with finding the right scene to go out in or the right websites to cruise and what not.

    What do you guys think, do you make an effort to fit in with a "type"? do you have a type that you go for?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    I can understand what you're saying about fitting in. I can't see myself hanging out with the bear crowd, the club guys or a group where every guy is tall and muscular. I wouldn't feel comfortable since I don't feel I have anything in common with these guys. All I can suggest to you is keep meeting guys and eventually, you'll find your "type".
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    Jan 29, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    i don't think it pays to worry about type. go to bars where you have fun and check out websites that entertain you. at the end of the day, type doesn't much matter. it all boils down to finding that guy who likes you for who you are and you're just as likely to meet him at a coffee shop as you are on a website.

    sure, statistically that's not true but you get my point - just be yourself and do your best.
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    Jan 29, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidi don't think it pays to worry about type. go to bars where you have fun and check out websites that entertain you. at the end of the day, type doesn't much matter. it all boils down to finding that guy who likes you for who you are and you're just as likely to meet him at a coffee shop as you are on a website.

    sure, statistically that's not true but you get my point - just be yourself and do your best.


    Exactly. worry more about finding good people with whom to surround yourself. The whole scene stuff is all BS anyway. It's nice that they exist, but when people get too rigid or take the scene way too seriously, it becomes a major hindrance.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 29, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    I try to learn as much as possible. I also try to be as original as possible.

    I will not EVER repost something I have already seen on my newsfeed like 20 times in a week. Hate to be that guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    I always try to be a classic Black Woman who can belt out show tunes.





    I don't seem to be very good at it...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 6:49 PM GMT
    No, that's how I make myself the type of person I am.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Jan 29, 2013 8:34 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidi don't think it pays to worry about type. go to bars where you have fun and check out websites that entertain you. at the end of the day, type doesn't much matter. it all boils down to finding that guy who likes you for who you are and you're just as likely to meet him at a coffee shop as you are on a website.

    sure, statistically that's not true but you get my point - just be yourself and do your best.



    Maybe it is an LA thing, but every gay bar here really is marketed to a specific crowd and the vast majority of the people who frequent them seem to fit in with it. The other thing that sort of inspired this post last night was that I ran into a guy who I took a class with about a year ago. He is tall and good looking and really nice, I always thought he was straight when we were in class together so I never would have tried to flirt with him or anything like that, I started chatting him up a bit and thought I was being flirty when he informed me that he was into big beefy guys and started pointing out the ones he wanted to take home. I guess that's what got me down about it, here was a guy who I actually knew in a real organic way that doesn't really fit into a "type" himself and then he's a self-professed bear chaser. The other guy I knew also managed to find and tried to hook up with twinkiest twink of the few that happened to be there. So it was kinda of awkward to literally talk to two normal, attractive, down to earth guys and one wanted a very bearish bear and the other a very twinky twink.



    I did just watch a pretty hilarious Happy Endings episode where Max the gay guy was trying to figure out his type....in the end he made up his own type and advertised a theme night for it at the bar and met a cute guy who was curious about what his flyers meant...which is a cute ending for a sitcom but doesn't really work in the real world. It is on hulu now, episode called Ordinary Extraordinary Love, I'd suggest checking it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    I'M HELVETICA
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2013 8:55 PM GMT
    I'm struggling to get more fit and more healthy. I'm trying to fit in with that type. Thus why I came back to RJ, despite the trainwrecks. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 30, 2013 12:19 AM GMT
    I make no effort to fit in with any type. I dont like labels. Men who only go for a certain type I find are very shallow. I may not fit ones type are scene, but do I really care..........NO I dont, I prefer to leave the door open to all types. Ive dated guys before and friends would tell me I dont see what you see in him,,,,,,,he doesnt seem like your type......and i usually say well hes for my eyes not yours........If your a true friend just be happy for me. Ive dated all types of people and when it all comes down to it god created us all the same inside. So read the inside of a book, rather then stareing at the outside the book.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 12:21 AM GMT
    Trust me. You're somebody's type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 12:26 AM GMT


    I'm a hip little old eyeball with one black man.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jan 30, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    I'm my own type.

    You've just got to be yourself dude - if there are elements of style you want to incorporate, go ahead, just don't be a fucking fake - it's a total turnoff.

    Trite advice, I know, but it's the honest truth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    Conformity has never been too important to me. I really don't what type i'd be... I just keep living as myself and see where life goes...
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Jan 30, 2013 1:19 AM GMT
    I am me love it or leave it. I lead don't follow so i may look like I fit a type but my type is Toby one if a of a kind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 1:25 AM GMT
    Never confuse online responses about compatibility/attraction with meaningful feedback. Seriously. There is a reason why we have 5 senses instead of just one but some guys continue to fill in the blanks anyway, for better or or worse. Be yourself, continue to take care of your mind, career, as well as your body and you'll be fine over time.
  • chi_rock

    Posts: 207

    Jan 30, 2013 2:57 AM GMT
    No time or energy for types.
  • crisisgray

    Posts: 85

    Jan 30, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    Clueless type for sure
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 30, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Grumpy old man, here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 4:34 AM GMT
    yes, i do try to conform to "types." i have to pay my rent.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Jan 30, 2013 5:00 AM GMT
    I never tried to conform to a type, and I ended up dating people who were not focused on types.

    May I make a suggestion for your online profiles? Rather than trying the (a) face pic with a follow up body pic upon request or (b) body pic with a follow up face pic upon request, you might want to explore putting yourself up there fully, so people can see you fully before making contact. It will weed out the ones who decide you're not their type. Put up pics of you, and lots more text about you. Your profile even here on RJ could be so much more evocative about who you are. I don't want to be negative, but your current profile here doesn't give enough to motivate people to contact you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 5:06 AM GMT
    I like to say I'm unique and special and don't need to conform to any type, or some platitude like that, but the truth is I go out of my way to look the part of the jock so that people don't think i'm a bottom because of my size. icon_sad.gif
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Jan 30, 2013 5:13 AM GMT
    Roguewave saidI'M HELVETICA


    I'm ELITE (of course), but I know guys who are TimesNewRoman.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2013 5:33 AM GMT
    I must be dingbats then.