Weird, nosy coworker

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    Jan 30, 2013 12:06 AM GMT
    There's this guy I work with (who is a new employee) who sometimes asks for rides after work. I don't mind doing carpool with him because we both go the same way. However, he's always going through my things (glove compartment etc.) and looking through my paperwork. Just the other day he reached over my backseat and went through my bag. He seems like a nice guy but I don't know how to tell him to stop invading my stuff. Then he saw my Ke$ha album and said "Why do you listen to this gay shit?" He doesn't know I'm gay but when he asked if I had a girlfriend I said no.
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    Jan 30, 2013 12:22 AM GMT
    I know a guy like that. There is definitely something wrong with him. But one of his weird things is that he will just abruptly start going through your stuff. Or if you leave a laptop where he can reach it, he'll start going though your email. Endearing little habits like that make him one of those people who I wish didn't know where I live.
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    Jan 30, 2013 12:36 AM GMT
    Sounds like the bully, pushy type that will eventually conclude that you are gay, project hatred, and harrass the hell out of you. I'd say you have somewhere else to go any time he needs a ride. Then keep your distance.
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    Jan 30, 2013 2:12 AM GMT
    In this case, you get what you give. Tell him to stop "that gay shit" and mean it. If he dosent stop ultimatum: either stop or get a different ride. I believe in giving people chances but overbearing assholisness is unacceptable!
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    Jan 30, 2013 2:14 AM GMT
    You better keep that guy in check. He's looking for shit to borrow/steal from you. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 30, 2013 2:38 AM GMT
    I've come across a few people like that, no respect for personal belongings or space. They usually come with a nice palpable ego. Tell him to back off and not go through your stuff. You can approach it politely at first and if he doesn't listen then get firmer. You have a right to your privacy, don't let anyone walk on you.
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    Jan 30, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    Rich and saber have pretty much summed up about my thoughts on the matter.

    I'd be wary of that guy.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 30, 2013 3:06 AM GMT
    They're called boundaries. Everyone needs them. Tell him to fuck the hell off and keep out of your stuff. No more rides for him. Seriously! Not to be tolerated.
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    Jan 30, 2013 5:52 PM GMT
    Kerkland saidThere's this guy I work with (who is a new employee) who sometimes asks for rides after work. I don't mind doing carpool with him because we both go the same way. However, he's always going through my things (glove compartment etc.) and looking through my paperwork. Just the other day he reached over my backseat and went through my bag. He seems like a nice guy but I don't know how to tell him to stop invading my stuff. Then he saw my Ke$ha album and said "Why do you listen to this gay shit?" He doesn't know I'm gay but when he asked if I had a girlfriend I said no.


    you're waaayy too friendly..how come you offering him rides sooo quickly?? without hesitation?? hmmmm
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Jan 30, 2013 6:05 PM GMT
    This guy sounds like a complete jerk, I can't believe he actually does that! (well I do believe you, I am just shocked) I would never do that if someone is giving me a lift, in my parents' cars I look in their glove departments sometimes but only cos we store CDs there
  • Machina

    Posts: 419

    Jan 30, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    Here's what I would do:

    ...imagine for a moment that this douche in question is a paperclip.


    If he doesn't understand a "fuck off" or two, or three, or five, you may have to be a little more pointed with him. Good luck.
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    Jan 30, 2013 6:15 PM GMT
    Take notes from chris tucker "DON'T EVER TOUCH A GAY MAN'S CD!"
    I suggest you end this quickly by telling him you have a problem with people looking through your stuff and if this continues you wont carpool with anyone ever again... Take control of the situation, don't let them take advantage of you..

    It's your damn car! "respect my privacy or get the fuck outta my car"

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jan 30, 2013 6:26 PM GMT
    Next time he asks for a ride, tell him you didn't like that "Gay shit" remark and him going through your stuff. Don't just slink away with some excuse. Let him know what an asshole he's being. He may actually rethink his attitude.
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    Jan 30, 2013 6:27 PM GMT
    Either the guy is uber hot, or you're way to sweet.

    Have the same sort of situation, but I tell him when to back off and yes, he's freaking hot, but adorable too, just overly interested in my life, something to do with his ADHD and really nothing more.
    Doubt this is your case; however.
    Mach him up with someone else...got to be a girl with a car, as sweet as you are.
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    Jan 30, 2013 6:27 PM GMT
    Oh, sucks to be you. I am firmly in the camp of "don't touch another person's computer". Like others have said, don't hide the facts. Be firm and direct. He's most likely been missing that from his life.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 30, 2013 6:28 PM GMT
    Stop giving him rides.
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    Jan 30, 2013 7:48 PM GMT
    I've run into people like this before. These same dudes will think nothing of changing the station on your stereo without a second thought. I've found these types never turned out to be good friends. Despite the many clueless people who delude themselves by giving everybody and situation the benefit of the doubt,..there are in fact sociapathic types amoungst us and this guy sounds like one of them. Someone who enjoys toying with others for sport. Don't think it's so? Read up on it. If you think I'm totally off base here...stop talking to him altogther and watch what happens. If anything...you will learn something about people. I'd really like to hear how this all plays out.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Jan 30, 2013 7:52 PM GMT
    TheAlchemixt saidStop giving him rides.


    I think the more important issue is that he needs to stop listening to Ke$ha.
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    Jan 30, 2013 7:53 PM GMT
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ49c7xdG5eYwab-I95mS9
    When he goes through your stuff (which is really bizarre, by the way), ask him if he's looking for something. Put him on the spot and see what he says. Then tell him to stop poking through your shit. You don't have to yell at him. Just politely but firmly ask him to stop.
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    Jan 30, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    eject600dpi.jpg

    Add this button to your car features.
  • honestsweat

    Posts: 183

    Jan 30, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    "Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission."

    Ann Landers
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jan 30, 2013 8:41 PM GMT
    Guys the real issue at hand though.... is the Ke$ha album.

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    Jan 30, 2013 9:05 PM GMT
    One word-- mousetrap.

    Just make sure to record and then you can share it.
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    Jan 30, 2013 9:07 PM GMT
    TheAlchemixt saidStop giving him rides.

    Thank you! +1
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    Jan 30, 2013 9:17 PM GMT
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