The worst thing a man can be is shy.

  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jan 30, 2013 4:09 PM GMT
    Nothing hurts a man's chances more than being shy. You can be a criminal, unemployed, violent, abusive, rude.... you can be any of these things you and will still get a man. Guarantee it.


    But if you're shy, you really won't get anywhere. Men need to realize this and accept they have two choices: either stay shy and never get dates; or, gain confidence and start going after what you want. Every single one of my friends who complain they can't get a man never try. They expect it to just fall in their lap. When you're looking for a job you don't get employers approaching you. You have to get out there and search for it. If you get rejected, you try again.


    When dating I feel like men HATE shyness in other men. Not all of them will admit this though. But trust me, they do. Maybe it's subconscious, but they definitely are repulsed by it. A man will only stick around for so long and will not try to coax u out of ur shell....So if there's one thing you don't want to be, it's shy.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 30, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    So, that explains why so often when I notice a guy looking at me he immediately turns away!! And here I thought I had something stuck in my teeth.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 4:23 PM GMT
    I have some advice to the OP. although since he is so caught up in his victim hood, he will likely not want to hear it, but stop being shy.
    There you have it. It's not like you were born that way, like being black or a Jew, or you lost your job or your apartment, no you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and decide that again, today, you will be a shy little pussy.
    Yeah. Guess what? Almost everyone is a little shy, insecure, nervous or whatever. Shut up, man up and quit making excuses.
    Otherwise, one day you look in that very same mirror and there is an old man, still shy and someone who did not accomplish hardly any of the things he could have, all because he could not get past his excuse.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    Define what you mean by shy, Import.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jan 30, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI have some advice to the OP. although since he is so caught up in his victim hood, he will likely not want to hear it, but stop being shy.
    There you have it. It's not like you were born that way, like being black or a Jew, or you lost your job or your apartment, no you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and decide that again, today, you will be a shy little pussy.
    Yeah. Guess what? Almost everyone is a little shy, insecure, nervous or whatever. Shut up, man up and quit making excuses.
    Otherwise, one day you look in that very same mirror and there is an old man, still shy and someone who did not accomplish hardly any of the things he could have, all because he could not get past his excuse.


    lol wut?
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jan 30, 2013 5:00 PM GMT
    meninlove said Define what you mean by shy, Import.

    By shy I mean unable to open up. Not able to break down walls. Lack of confidence, perhaps? Tho, lack of confidence and shyness dont always go hand in hand. I feel like they do kind of. Timid. Someone that doesn't go out and get what they want as far as dating or relationships go.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 5:06 PM GMT

    "By shy I mean unable to open up. Not able to break down walls."

    Unable to open up indicates a lot more going on than shyness, and I'll ask that you think about this regarding breaking down walls: why are there walls and who is putting up those walls and what does that say about THEM? icon_wink.gif

    ...if you referring to walls the shy person has up, it's a good idea to consider why they are there (past traumas, emotional or otherwise). icon_wink.gif

  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 30, 2013 6:37 PM GMT
    Personally I hate guys that are always in your face, yammering on and on about shit nobody cares about, feel like they are constantly on a need to know basis, loud, overly confident.. etc. I'd prefer a shy guy over that, any day of the week.

    I need my personal space, and I respect others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 7:54 PM GMT
    shy guys are often charming....i like them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 8:50 PM GMT
    All the guys I've dated have shown more interest when I was being shy then when I was out of my shell. The moment I popped out of my shell, they retreated into theirs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 8:50 PM GMT
    Well everyone has their own personality and with that you have shy guys. Sure it can be a pain, but sometimes shy guys can even be the most trustworthy and are able to connect with people since they *listen* to others. All personalities have their pros and cons and with that everyone has a preference in what they want...and i guess the op hates shy guys then.icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 9:03 PM GMT
    Just to amplify a bit on the OP's message: I agree with it. We have to light a fire under ourselves and go after what we want. We each need to get off our asses - so to speak - and seek out what we want - whether it be relationships or careers, etc. A couch potato or wall flower type guy just sitting safely on his living room couch - - is not going to meet anyone. You have to get out there and join things - circulate - make friends - volunteer - hang with people - go up and introduce yourselves at parties, force yourselves to get over shyness. When I think about past accomplishments in my life - - - none of them would have happened if I'd been afraid to make the call, or go up and introduce myself, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
    Import said
    meninlove said Define what you mean by shy, Import.

    By shy I mean unable to open up. Not able to break down walls. Lack of confidence, perhaps? Tho, lack of confidence and shyness dont always go hand in hand. I feel like they do kind of. Timid. Someone that doesn't go out and get what they want as far as dating or relationships go.



    I think shyness is just fear of social judgement...which would lead someone to not open up.

    You may be lumping in shy folk with introverts and reserved people in general, though. That someone doesn't open up much isn't necessarily because of an inability to do so. Some people just have greater discretion in who they open up to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 9:56 PM GMT
    Some shy people make others uncomfortable because they feel the shy person is judging them. Also it takes longer to get to know them and in the online meat market that is less likely to happen. If a shy person puts more information in their profile on Scruff or whatever, someone who contacts them will have more to work with. In real life, they can get used to asking normal small talk type questions about work, holidays, food etc. to get some conversation going.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    Let's not confuse shyness with inertness. A shy guy can be kinda cute; a guy who doesn't interact with me socially on any level is a paperweight. They are not necessarily the same traits.
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Jan 30, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    IceBuckets said The moment I popped out of my shell, they retreated into theirs.


    i think saw u on the nat geo channel,

    the giant tortise mating episode
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    thadjock said
    IceBuckets said The moment I popped out of my shell, they retreated into theirs.


    i think saw u on the nat geo channel,

    the giant tortise mating episode


    I just watched this thanks to you:

  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Jan 30, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    bus9ja2d said
    thadjock said
    IceBuckets said The moment I popped out of my shell, they retreated into theirs.


    i think saw u on the nat geo channel,

    the giant tortise mating episode


    I just watched this thanks to you:



    and this makes me think of how sexy jerry ferrara got after he lost the entourage weight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    As much as I hate to agree with Import, I do kinda.

    It just aggrivates me when guys beat around the bush. I think some guys actually play up their shyness because they think it's cute. Makes me cringe and in my head I'm thinking "ohhhh i wanna go i wanna get out of here i hate this i don't even want to explain to him what about it i hate i just can't"

    That being said, I think it's cute if a guy is nervous and stumbles on his words on the way to spilling the beans. Shyness feels like it's saying "you do all of the conversational work, you take all of the risks. I'm just going to waste your time while I vascillate."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 30, 2013 11:33 PM GMT
    The worst thing a man can be is straight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    A small amount of shyness can be endearing. But really, only in very limited quantities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    Damn, I'm painfully shy....

    So does that mean, I can eat the cookies and gummy bears I want then! icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    i learned that the hard way, now I'm not shy at all, but right before a date i always tell myself I'm never going out on a date for a long time cause i get nervous lmao.icon_lol.gif and i go on a date prob the week after haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 4:05 AM GMT
    RadRTT saidDamn, I'm painfully shy....

    So does that mean, I can eat the cookies and gummy bears I want then! icon_eek.gif
    Cookies and gummy bears hate shy people. You have to form a parade of scantily clad shy people doing each other publicly to gain the acceptance of cookies and gummy bears.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 4:06 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidCookies and gummy bears hate shy people. You have to form a parade of scantily clad shy people doing each other publicly to gain the acceptance of cookies an gummy bears.
    I don't give a rats ass if gummy bears like me...I bite their heads off and then rip apart their limbs. It give me more pleasure if they scream and hate me while I ruin them icon_evil.gif