DOMINUS saidIf there's a trust issue between you and your bf/partner, that relationship is doomed from the start. That's a very difficult hurdle to get over.
I agree, but I feel a lot of it is based on my insecurities, and constantly feeling that people around me are deceiving or lying to me, and never feeling good about myself in many of ways. I've decided that professional help is the only thing that can help me at this point fix myself, but I truly believe that this means that I need to put good energy into this relationship despite some downfalls.
I was wondering how much the trust issue was of your own making. Being insecure can lead you to exaggerate and overreact to innocent things. A kinda funny story:
My BF at the time came to my front door. He immediately demanded to know what man had come to see me before he got there. HUH? No one, I answered honestly.
Well what are these man's footprints in the fresh snow on the sidewalk, he demanded, not more than an hour old. I told him those were mine, I had just gone out to the garage. Those aren't your shoe tracks, he countered, I know your footprints, and those are different, they're too big. Right, now he thinks he's Sherlock Holmes.
OK, so I went inside and got my boots, since I was in my socks in the house, an Upper Midwestern custom in winter, and put them on. I tromped around outside and showed him those were indeed my tracks. Incredibly, he was still skeptical.
I directed his attention to some small round impressions along both sides of the walk. Recognize what those are I asked? He didn't.
Those are the marks from my cane, going out and coming back in. Do you suppose this secret lover of mine also walks with a cane in his right hand?
He finally conceded that he was wrong about the tracks, but continued to badger me about "rumors" he'd heard about my cheating on him. Well, rumors is what they'd be, because I never cheat. Finally we went out on our date (surprisingly), but seriously considering just dumping this guy.
I stayed with him a month more, until he confessed he'd actually been cheating on ME! And he thought maybe this newer guy had in turn been cheating on him with me, a secret triangle, and that's whose footprints he suspected he saw at my place! Crazy!
Jealousy & insecurity are powerful drugs, that can make you hallucinate all kinds of strange things. Be careful you don't spoil a good thing for no good reason.