Are we doing it wrong?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 2:54 AM GMT
    I used to be really supportive of all of the gay community. All of it. Now I've started to kind of slowly inch away from it. The more I learn and figure out about the gay community, the more disappointed I get. Yes, I support gay marriage and yes I support equality for everyone, but some parts of it are starting to get on my nerves.

    Gay Pride parades, promiscuity, the gay body image, the whole "We're here, we're queer, get used to it", it all drives me crazy. Sometimes I view the gay community and think "So this is why everyone thinks we're insane." You don't see straight people doing this (this extreme anyway).

    And I'm not bad mouthing the gay community, I'm just saying how disappointed I am with it sometimes. I know that there are an overwhelming amount of gays and lesbians that are good people and I know that the overall intentions of the community as a whole are good, but come on. We don't need men walking around in boas and their underwear to show that we want equality.

    In my opinion we need to integrate instead of separate. Gaining support from heterosexuals has been a bitch and has taken a long long time because we continually separate ourselves from them and we make it hard for them to see where we are coming from.

    I am a proud gay man and I have been out of the closet since I was 13 (this past year was my 10 year anniversary of being out of the closet), but I have found myself shying away from certain events and activities because of the unabashed, in your face, fuck everyone attitude the events are centered upon.

    We are all equal, we all bleed red, and we all deserve respect. Show the heterosexual community that we can be respected. Running around making out with people half naked isn't behavior that warrants respect even in the heterosexual community. So what makes the gay community think it will be effective in gaining our rights?

    The flamboyancy certainly served its purpose in creating visibility for the community where there used to be none, but now I that the tide has turned to "We deserve the right to marriage and discrimination protection just like everyone else," I feel like the caricature-like image it maintains through pride parades (literally fellating in the streets at most of the larger parades) and the playing bleeding heart victims card is rather counter productive to convincing people that we're just like everyone else.
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    Jan 31, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    This is a big topic.

    Remember that heterosexuals came out of their closet first, and started parading their obscenity some time before homosexuals did.

    This is an important fact to recall when dealing with homophobic canards about tolerance of homosexuality being a benchmark of moral decline.

    It is refreshing to travel to countries which have and apply sensible anti-obscenity laws, and this might reveal that the pendulum has swung the other way now, and there needs to be a moratorium on what is and is not acceptable.

    I am pleased to see that, in the UK, we are now having some debate about the sexualisation of children by the marketing men, and that the young are now turning away from the sexual liberalism of previous generations.

  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 31, 2013 3:28 AM GMT
    You and your mundane "we need to be like straight people" topics again...icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 31, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    FatFranklin saidI used to be really supportive of all of the gay community. All of it. Now I've started to kind of slowly inch away from it. The more I learn and figure out about the gay community, the more disappointed I get. Yes, I support gay marriage and yes I support equality for everyone, but some parts of it are starting to get on my nerves.

    Gay Pride parades, promiscuity, the gay body image, the whole "We're here, we're queer, get used to it", it all drives me crazy. Sometimes I view the gay community and think "So this is why everyone thinks we're insane." You don't see straight people doing this (this extreme anyway).
    You obviously haven't checked the ratio of tittie bars to gay bars in ANY area of the US. And don't leave out "gentlemen's clubs" which are nothing more than a place for overage guys to hookup with underage chicks...for a price.

    Your ideal of homosexuality has been influenced by the "better-than-thou" straight crowd who's using gay stereotypes to cover up their own socially taboo behaviors.

    Don't give in to their bullshit.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Jan 31, 2013 3:55 AM GMT
    Whoa, this is a tough topic. All I can say is that I personally like gay parades and all of it's craziness. I think it is because of this event heterosexual people are more open to the lifestyle that we live. I have seen families bring their children to these events and I think that it allows the future generation to be more open minded to the gay community.
    I know the gay community has it's negatives but it has it's positives as well.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    I agree with you in the sense that in the future there won't be any need of pride parades - we'll just have random fun, quirky parades without having to label a gay parade. Where our behavior isn't seen as a reason or symptom of us being gay

    However, because this is not the case, the parades are way to be all up in nay sayers face. Don't like gays? Oh okay - heres me and my man tonguing each other while our naked hot, sweaty bods grind up against each other. Got your attention now? Thats the reason for it - everything about gay pride is to draw attention to the issue. We'll eventually get to the point where nobody (by nobody I mean everyone else) cares anymore and it'll just be a fact of life that two dudes like to go to town on each other and want to love each other.

    tumblrmcxb3ljcpr1qcc4bj.gif
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:10 AM GMT
    When someone has something beautiful in them....those who don't have it will always look for the bad qualities in them...& when they find one...they ignore all the beauty & talk only about the things they don't like...

    Our gay community is very small compared to straight & in our community effeminate people are few compared to all gays...People always look for the bad qualities (in their perspective)& when someone talks about gays, they always refer to the effeminate people & that's disappointing...& yes, sometimes it drives me crazy too... icon_neutral.gif

    people should taught that each one has their own individuality, behavior etc.,. they should learn that when someone is repelling to them, it should not affect the other people in that community...(Just like If Hitler is bad person, it doesn't mean whole Germany is bad & similarly if Gandhi is a good person doesn't mean all Indians are good!)


    I'm not against effeminate, gay parades etc.,. I totally welcome it!
    each one has their own likes & dislikes! & what's appealing to someone is repelling to others!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 31, 2013 4:24 AM GMT
    WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SOME FOOL WHO THINKS THAT, IF WE ONLY LOOKED LIKE THEM, TALKED LIKE THEM, AND ACTED LIKE THEM, WE'D BE ACCEPTED BY THEM ?

    BULL SHIT !

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 31, 2013 4:26 AM GMT
    here's the thing, if we stop being fabulous, then there will be no one else to be fabulous.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    FatFranklin saidI used to be really supportive of all of the gay community. All of it. Now I've started to kind of slowly inch away from it. The more I learn and figure out about the gay community, the more disappointed I get. Yes, I support gay marriage and yes I support equality for everyone, but some parts of it are starting to get on my nerves.

    Gay Pride parades, promiscuity, the gay body image, the whole "We're here, we're queer, get used to it", it all drives me crazy. Sometimes I view the gay community and think "So this is why everyone thinks we're insane." You don't see straight people doing this (this extreme anyway).

    And I'm not bad mouthing the gay community, I'm just saying how disappointed I am with it sometimes. I know that there are an overwhelming amount of gays and lesbians that are good people and I know that the overall intentions of the community as a whole are good, but come on. We don't need men walking around in boas and their underwear to show that we want equality.

    In my opinion we need to integrate instead of separate. Gaining support from heterosexuals has been a bitch and has taken a long long time because we continually separate ourselves from them and we make it hard for them to see where we are coming from.

    I am a proud gay man and I have been out of the closet since I was 13 (this past year was my 10 year anniversary of being out of the closet), but I have found myself shying away from certain events and activities because of the unabashed, in your face, fuck everyone attitude the events are centered upon.

    We are all equal, we all bleed red, and we all deserve respect. Show the heterosexual community that we can be respected. Running around making out with people half naked isn't behavior that warrants respect even in the heterosexual community. So what makes the gay community think it will be effective in gaining our rights?

    The flamboyancy certainly served its purpose in creating visibility for the community where there used to be none, but now I that the tide has turned to "We deserve the right to marriage and discrimination protection just like everyone else," I feel like the caricature-like image it maintains through pride parades (literally fellating in the streets at most of the larger parades) and the playing bleeding heart victims card is rather counter productive to convincing people that we're just like everyone else.


    I've felt the same...I have wonderful grandchildren that I would not take to most gay parade events and I'm suppose to view those things as representing me?...
    I don't think so...no wonder many in the straight community look at us like we're nuts...most of that behavior is inappropriate in the public. I wouldn't like seeing anyone straight doing that either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    calibro saidhere's the thing, if we stop being fabulous, then there will be no one else to be fabulous.


    And YOU are Fabulousssssss
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 31, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    calibro saidhere's the thing, if we stop being fabulous, then there will be no one else to be fabulous.

    That's totally true and so gay.

    I'm not the least bit fabulous and never have been which is why I say I'm a homo but not particularly gay.

    PS: There may be communities of gay men but there is no "gay community" in some vague global sense. There is a gay political demographic but to call that a "community" is wishful thinking at best.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 31, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    MikeW said
    calibro saidhere's the thing, if we stop being fabulous, then there will be no one else to be fabulous.

    That's totally true and so gay.

    I'm not the least bit fabulous and never have been which is why I say I'm a homo but not particularly gay.

    PS: There may be communities of gay men but there is no "gay community" in some vague global sense. There is a gay political demographic but to call that a "community" is wishful thinking at best.


    no, you're pretty gay
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jan 31, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    Roguewave said
    calibro saidhere's the thing, if we stop being fabulous, then there will be no one else to be fabulous.


    And YOU are Fabulousssssss


    and don't you forget it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    I agree, you don't need violate public decency to get your point across.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Jan 31, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    FatFranklin saidI used to be really supportive of all of the gay community. All of it. Now I've started to kind of slowly inch away from it.


    See ya!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 31, 2013 4:54 AM GMT
    calibro said
    MikeW said
    calibro saidhere's the thing, if we stop being fabulous, then there will be no one else to be fabulous.

    That's totally true and so gay.

    I'm not the least bit fabulous and never have been which is why I say I'm a homo but not particularly gay.

    PS: There may be communities of gay men but there is no "gay community" in some vague global sense. There is a gay political demographic but to call that a "community" is wishful thinking at best.


    no, you're pretty gay


    icon_eek.gif I'm no more pretty than I am fabulous.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:57 AM GMT
    Fortis said, "Remember that heterosexuals came out of their closet first, and started parading their obscenity some time before homosexuals did.

    This is an important fact to recall when dealing with homophobic canards about tolerance of homosexuality being a benchmark of moral decline."

    Holy mergatroids and spades in jello, this is very true. You put it so mildly about straight people. icon_wink.gif

    Here's a small example:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_love
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    I don't mind all the gay stuff and culture. But I would like to date and settle down like a lot of straight couples do. Without the open relationship or threesome thing. Like normal love. Gay love is so much more complicated.
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    Jan 31, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    I'm really getting tired of these Yeah-I'm-Gay-But-I'm-Not
    -Like-The-Rest-Of-You-Flaming-Faggots threads and the better-than-thou attiude the originators cop.

    Well, if you ain't happy with the community please go back into the closet and like another poster said: See Ya!
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    Jan 31, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    there-it-goes-the-last-fuck-i-give.gif
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Jan 31, 2013 5:29 AM GMT
    Hey Franklin, it really isn't your place to tell others how they should be. That kind of thinking is what the fundamentalists do. It's great that you are how you are, now let others be who they will be. That is true liberation.
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    Jan 31, 2013 5:37 AM GMT
    Well to be honest I just don't care anymore. A few years ago I used to say the same thing about being against gay parades and all the "fabolous" crap but now I just live my life and let others live theirs.

    We have to understand that even if we're gay we do not have the same taste and way of expressing ourselves, so even between the gay community we should be tolerant.

    How can we ask for tolerance if we are not even tolerant with our own community?

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    Jan 31, 2013 5:37 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI'm really getting tired of these Yeah-I'm-Gay-But-I'm-Not
    -Like-The-Rest-Of-You-Flaming-Faggots threads and the better-than-thou attiude the originators cop.

    Well, if you ain't happy with the community please go back into the closet and like another poster said: See Ya!


    I think gifs express this particular sentiment

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 5:39 AM GMT
    camfer saidHey Franklin, it really isn't your place to tell others how they should be. That kind of thinking is what the fundamentalists do. It's great that you are how you are, now let others be who they will be. That is true liberation.


    A FUCKIN' MEN

    End of this pathetic thread. Everyone go home. There's nothing to see here.