Hookup Nervous Breakdown

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 6:02 AM GMT
    So i dun usually whine and complaint and share my private life here in this forum like other bitches,but this incident have been tangled around my chest that i have to spill it out so here we go....

    So yesterday i took a bus to the town A,where my hookup/potential boyfren material guy B lives and works.And I arrived early and he was still working until 4 or 5 pm,so i just window shop nearby and walked a little further away,this is kinda like first date for me, i figure later i can treat him a dinner or movie,sumthing like that.

    After he done his job,he sends me sms that he was chilling in the bar,and i send him messages that i still far from the bar and it takes time to walk back to the bar,so i kinda hope he might offer me a ride since well,he has a car,but no,he didnt,fine.icon_rolleyes.gif

    When i finally get to the front door of the bar,it is kinda like a beer garden,u know,outdoor and roofless,i see him 4 first time,and together with some friends,and i walked away,dun wanna outed him coz we only chat via sms before,so we r not familiar with each other,so i text him when he gonna leave?But he reply like where r u?Come to the bar.And after a long battle in my mind,i give it a try,and when i step at the front door 4 the second time,HOLYCRAP!The crowd around his table became larger and he saw me!And i chicken out,so i run to the bus stop,get on and go home,he do text me message like is that u?come in?blah blah blah,but i am too nervous and um,well kinda angry and sad how this first date turn out,totally unexpectable.

    Ok,my final rant,i dun know why he want me to meet his friends on the 1st place as this could be a one night thing that we might never see each other again,with or without sex,and why he is so dumd?Well that what i think,like u know,i do indicate that i would buy him dinner and have some conversation,and why this happen,god i need to hit the brick,and i properly never contact him in the future anymore.

    So to all the rjers,feel free to post ur pov,troll post,gif and watever u want to this weird scenario.icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 6:10 AM GMT
    I'll troll.


    You aren't doing much to break down Asian stereotypes, you know that right?
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    Jan 31, 2013 6:19 AM GMT
    greatest. thread. title. EVAR.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:13 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    You aren't doing much to break down Asian stereotypes, you know that right?


    THIS^>9000

    OP is a giant pussy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:18 AM GMT
    He sure dodged a bullet. You did this guy a favor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:25 AM GMT
    Cooper87 saidSo i dun usually whine and complaint and share my private life here in this forum like other bitches

    I can't tell if that's an attempt at being sassy or needlessly antagonizing.

    Sounds like you over thought things to a neurotic degree.
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:26 AM GMT
    i read nothing
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:31 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI'll troll.


    You aren't doing much to break down Asian stereotypes, you know that right?


    um this is not a race thread.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:32 AM GMT
    Next time, if you are having date again!
    you decide the place & time!
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:33 AM GMT
    SkittleGangsta saidHe sure dodged a bullet. You did this guy a favor.


    can i have a medal of honor pls?
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    Jan 31, 2013 7:44 AM GMT
    Incendiary said
    jmusmc85 said
    You aren't doing much to break down Asian stereotypes, you know that right?


    THIS^>9000

    OP is a giant pussy


    well this is good to know u r proud and out,i am obviously jealous right now.icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2013 1:45 PM GMT
    It's a very dramatic retreat. Is there any reason why you have to avoid a crowd?

    If I were you, I would love to see his friends. Most gay guys are not so relaxed to let you mingle with their friends. But you seem like a freak even for me now so maybe he will not show you to his friends. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 02, 2013 1:50 PM GMT
    Has he read how you write? Was he still willing to meet you after you used words like "dun"? Wow. He is, like, the luckiest beer drinking dude in all the world.
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    Feb 02, 2013 1:53 PM GMT
    Admittedly, this is the most boring, uneventful hookup story I have ever read. But...... never mind, no "But."

    Oh yes! Don't pick on him b/c he's Asian!!!!!
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:08 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidHahaha, Jesus...you bitches are terrible, lol. Why can't y'all be nice and sweet like me??? icon_lol.gif

    OP: chill overnight and contact him again tomorrow. Let him know you were a little freaked by the crowd because you figured it was just going to be him and you. Who knows what he was thinking...maybe he figured it would be less pressure/awkward tension if it was more of a social event, where you could see him in action with his friends, get to know him, etc. Basically, it just sounded like a lack of planning/communication between you two....which is an invitation to communicate more and better, rather than run away.

    Look at what made you feel insecure in that situation and challenge THAT, not him. You're a big boy now, so you need to recognize that you're in control of your life and emotions as much as everyone else is, including him or any other guy you want to date. Even if it kinda blew the date for you, you could have said hello, stayed for a drink, and then begged off. It's not like you were going to get gang raped in a beer garden, lol.

    You're gonna meet a lot of people...plenty of them will be on a different wavelength than you. You're gonna need to develop the skills to deal with those situations, or you're gonna be running away from things for most of your life. icon_wink.gif


    +1
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:31 PM GMT
    huhwhat saidAdmittedly, this is the most boring, uneventful hookup story I have ever read. But...... never mind, no "But."

    Oh yes! Don't pick on him b/c he's Asian!!!!!



    He is comfortable being gay and social you are homophobic and non social. You need to communicate that up front. However non social people generally are reluctant to communicate so you can't choose social people to hang out with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:39 PM GMT
    He and his friends wanted free dinner. You promised.
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:48 PM GMT
    GTPSean said
    yourname2000 saidHahaha, Jesus...you bitches are terrible, lol. Why can't y'all be nice and sweet like me??? icon_lol.gif

    OP: chill overnight and contact him again tomorrow. Let him know you were a little freaked by the crowd because you figured it was just going to be him and you. Who knows what he was thinking...maybe he figured it would be less pressure/awkward tension if it was more of a social event, where you could see him in action with his friends, get to know him, etc. Basically, it just sounded like a lack of planning/communication between you two....which is an invitation to communicate more and better, rather than run away.

    Look at what made you feel insecure in that situation and challenge THAT, not him. You're a big boy now, so you need to recognize that you're in control of your life and emotions as much as everyone else is, including him or any other guy you want to date. Even if it kinda blew the date for you, you could have said hello, stayed for a drink, and then begged off. It's not like you were going to get gang raped in a beer garden, lol.

    You're gonna meet a lot of people...plenty of them will be on a different wavelength than you. You're gonna need to develop the skills to deal with those situations, or you're gonna be running away from things for most of your life. icon_wink.gif


    +1

    +2

    OP is just too young, and needs more practice.

    Don't take the date shit too seriously.
    He probably just looked for a good time (not necessarily sex).

    If I were you, I would try to mingle.
    Was there loud music? Is the environment dance-able?
    I gonna teach them a lesson, and let them know who has the best ass!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:53 PM GMT
    Take a deep breath, step back to the closet, without closing the door, than try again once you can laugh at yourself.
    Think there was a lot of aversion therapy involved before I actually made it inside a gay bar with out suffering a "nervous break down".
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    Feb 02, 2013 3:06 PM GMT
    When I plan on meeting someone I assume it will be a one on one encounter and would appreciate if the other would tell me he will be with friends as I would tell him if I would, so I can understand the OP's apprehension; although, I wouldn't have necessarily reacted that way, but we are all different. OP I'll cut you some slack.

    Once I had a young guy coming to meet me for a swim at my apt. I told him it would be just him and I because others in the small complex (less than 10 units) hardly ever use the pool. He came over. Cute as all get out but obviously very nervous. He changed into his trunks and left his underwear on! As we were swimming and making small talk and playful touching my straight friends (a male/female couple) from the unit behind me came to the pool! He quickly said that he had to go to the bathroom a would be right back. After awhile I went inside to find him clothed and pacing in the livingroom. He appologized but explained he wasn't expecting there to be others. I also apologized explaining that I really didn't expect anyone else to be there either. I said all was OK. He left leaving behind his wet underwear and a tank top. I rode the entire kingdom trying those clothes on every guy willing to give it a go but to no avail. My Cinderfella disappeared forever. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

    OP: Give the guy a call and explain your reaction. He might be more forgiving than others here on this thread.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 02, 2013 3:09 PM GMT
    You were just nervous.. if he is reasonable, he will give you another chance.
    He probably should have planned the meeting with only the two of you there, but it is what it is.. go with the flow. I would reach out to him again and see if he is open to meeting (alone in a public place...lol)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2013 3:26 PM GMT
    *sighs*

    Cooper, really?

    "So i dun usually whine and complaint and share my private life here in this forum like other bitches."

    Beginning a request with an insult of others?

    I think you missed a good time.

    To others; you are NOT bitches for sharing your personal struggles. When we problem solve together we are STRONGER.

    Please bear this in mind Cooper my Cooper. icon_wink.gif

    warmly,

    -Doug

    Cooper, here is an old quote that I live by,

    "“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
    - G Eliot

  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Feb 02, 2013 3:39 PM GMT
    Let me get this 'straight'... You arrange to meet a man at a public place, then you run away like a sissy because he was surrounded by his friends? He was a 'potential boyfriend', but he was also just a 'hookup' so you didn't want to meet any of his friends?

    I mean.. how old are you? 13? What kind of shy bullshit where you pulling?
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Feb 02, 2013 3:40 PM GMT
    Cooper87 said

    So yesterday i took a bus to the town A,where my hookup/potential boyfren material guy B lives and works.


    And so the guy is ok with you meeting his friends right away, and you're whining? Yeah ... seems like you really had him pegged as boyfriend material and not just a hookup icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 02, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    did u say something?