Please help! My boyfriends ex won't stop interfering with us.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 8:49 AM GMT
    My boyfriends ex is constantly trying to weasel his way back into his life. It's always one thing or the other. Constantly texting "I miss you". My boyfriend refuses to acknowledge him, but the ex is constantly trying to come back in. My boyfriend says if we say anything it would just make things worse. I'm ready to go wild and out, but would rather try to remain civil. Please help! Any input would be greatly appreciated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 8:54 AM GMT
    Block that gurl's phone numbah mhmmm
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 2:48 PM GMT
    Just punch him in his pija or cojones and get done with it.
  • ESL_Asian

    Posts: 176

    Jan 31, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    Put his phone no. into the dating websiteicon_wink.gif
  • HtotheOMO

    Posts: 70

    Jan 31, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    make your boyfriend change his number,delete him off of any social networking sites he ma have him on,and if hes as crazy as i hope hes not move to a different apartment and make sure anyone connected to him doesn't know
  • thadjock

    Posts: 2183

    Jan 31, 2013 5:36 PM GMT
    this is the only issue i have with getting older:

    as i age, too many of my peers (and potential dating pool) all seem to have accumulated baggage, and ex's that they're not comlpetly seperated from.

    I'm ok with staying friends with ex's, and it's great to end it without scorched earth, but it's done ....... move on.
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Jan 31, 2013 6:29 PM GMT
    Buy him lunch and sate him down and ask him to come and marry your bficon_smile.gif that's the only way to be civil here. If he wants your man, he would take him right under your nose if you don't do something to put an end to whatever they got going on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 6:33 PM GMT
    call your bf out on it, that's he's not actively blocking this guy.....he's the one allowing it...he's hedging his bets

    you're being played like a bitch and it'll make you crazy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 6:37 PM GMT
    Tell him to stay away once, if he doesn't beat the shit out of him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 6:39 PM GMT
    H_to_the_OMO saidmake your boyfriend change his number,delete him off of any social networking sites he ma have him on,and if hes as crazy as i hope hes not move to a different apartment and make sure anyone connected to him doesn't know


    This. And, consider pursuing a restraining order if the ex begins to make physical appearances. Document everything.

    If that doesn't work, contact Claystation. Maybe Clay can talk some sense into the ex. icon_lol.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jan 31, 2013 6:43 PM GMT
    Leave it to your boyfriend to deal with. It sounds like you don't trust him. If you make an issue of it, he'll assume you're an insecure baby and he'll be right.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    You just said he doesn't reply to his ex's messages... so why bother? If you guys really want him out of the picture, just make sure he isn't on your Facebook, or any other social media. If your bf is over his ex, and doesn't want anything to do with his ex, then he's old enough to know not to reply.

    It's honestly easier than changing everything over 1 person. Really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    I had an ex who wouldn't accept that I had chosen another guy over him. He wouldn't leave me alone, especially during the initial dating period with the new guy, telling me the other guy was not good for me, I should get back with him, etc, etc, doing what he could to sabotage us. One early morning he actually jimmied my front door open while I slept, and I woke up to him cuddling me in bed! That was the last straw.

    I told my new BF about the situation, so he'd be aware if the 3 of us crossed paths anywhere. We both wanted my BF to get to know my gay friends after he moved to live with me, and we became partners, but I told him the ex was one guy I didn't want us to have anything to do with, not even answer his calls, he was poison. He agreed and we both kept our distance from him, with the ex fortunately moving away soon afterwards.

    My partner didn't need to tell me to keep away from my ex, I just knew to do it myself, because of his clingy, if not stalking & subversive behavior. Maybe the OP's BF should know to do the same thing with his ex, too, without being asked. And if he doesn't, then the OP should explain that the present arrangement is totally unacceptable.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 31, 2013 7:15 PM GMT
    Change the number.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 7:16 PM GMT
    Warn him, then after one violation, unfriend/block him from life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 7:24 PM GMT
    LvPinoyboy saidMy boyfriends ex is constantly trying to weasel his way back into his life. It's always one thing or the other. Constantly texting "I miss you". My boyfriend refuses to acknowledge him, but the ex is constantly trying to come back in. My boyfriend says if we say anything it would just make things worse. I'm ready to go wild and out, but would rather try to remain civil. Please help! Any input would be greatly appreciated.


    If you're on Android, download a free app called Mr Number and block both phone and text. I use it on this phone to block telemarketers because I am active nationally or really internationally and I get a ton of it. I didn't know that there are about 50,000 social media experts out there all promising to get me on the first page of google. So I block 'suspected spam' and all 800, 888, etc numbers and it works well. Full blocking gets a pick up and hang up so the caller can't even leave a message.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 7:49 PM GMT
    It's time to put your foot down and break the possibility of contact. So, changing the number might be a good way to start. If the ex BF then tries to contact by a different channel, then it is time to get a restraining order.

    Sorry to hear that you BF and his ex didn't have an amicable parting, and now it's becoming an irritant.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 8:01 PM GMT
    Same with my ex-bf and his Ex. Its not that he was contacting him all the time that bothered me as they wanted to remain friends and were together several years- what bothered me was my ex told me how much he loved me- but wouldn't tell his ex he moved on. I found that inappropriate.

    They call it a breakup because its "broken" you have to cut the shit somewhere and move on in your life as much as we all like to sit around and cry about what we once had, and who we once were- move onward.

    It caused a lot of issues with us.

    Additionally my other ex bf was with a new guy for three years after we broke up- and that guy was constantly referencing me because he was somehow infatuated with our relationship.

    Guys- especially some that you think are the toughest, just arean't. I'm somewhat effeminate, and tend to go for guys who cast protection over me- and often I end up as the stronger one.

    IF you just be honest from the start with everyone involved in a situation then you have no problems!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    ART_DECO saidMaybe the OP's BF should know to do the same thing with his ex, too, without being asked. And if he doesn't, then the OP should explain that the present arrangement is totally unacceptable.

    This^^
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Jan 31, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    Change your numbers, block him and at all cost, although this is the hardest try to remain civil. Do not make the ex to be the victim or the instigator in any problems. Do not let him call the shots, he can only affect you if you allow it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    FlyinBrian said...Guys- especially some that you think are the toughest, just arean't. I'm somewhat effeminate, and tend to go for guys who cast protection over me- and often I end up as the stronger one...


    So true.
    Had an ex acting like a 13 year old, playing head games with my man. He was super cool about it, ignoring it, not even bothering to tell me about it; in fact wouldn't have till this day if the douche hadn't posted some explicit videos. Even then it was he who calmed me down and took care off it. I just wanted to beat the shit out of the guy; my first response to reading this thread as well.

    Yeah, better to ignore the guy, like your man is, eventually he'll move on.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Jan 31, 2013 9:26 PM GMT
    I don't take stuff like this as just bothering, it is time to open up the can
    you don't necessarily have to beat on him but bring down the hammer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 9:34 PM GMT
    Your bf needs to address it! End of story
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 31, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
    Just texting? ..bahh.. Block him! Change the number! Now if on the other hand he keeps showing up where you live. Get a dog that doesn't like him.
    mean-dog.lg.jpg!

  • imbrad

    Posts: 377

    Jan 31, 2013 9:41 PM GMT
    I am VERY close friends with one of my ex's. We have even lived together after the breakup. His boyfriends have always been threatened by me and I have tried to keep my distance when that happens. His current boyfriend is actually very intentionally friending me and it has been great for all three of us.

    I know this is not exactly like your situation but perhaps the needy ex needs YOU to be his friend for him to learn some boundries. Of course if that doesn't work you can just break his kneecaps... Although, knowing some of the gays out there that wont even get the message accross. icon_wink.gif