Are you a "mean girl' or a "cool girl'???

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    Feb 01, 2013 2:49 PM GMT
    After being out for some 8 years now, and being a Psychology major; it seems most gay men fit in 2 categories. "Mean girls" vs "Cool girls". I feel that these terms don't need to be explained lol. I recently noticed this in volumes a week ago, when my friend, Aaron, came to visit. This guy has always been a total package. He has a handsome face, smart/great personality, but he recently gained some weight. He doesn't look like a before contestant on "The Biggest Loser", but still he's "gay fat!" Alright, to give the Cliff's Notes version... When he was in town, he and some of our friends all went out to a gay bar to hang. I swear, some of the same guys who would hit on this guy a year before; these same guys acted like they didn't even know him! Giving their replies of, "Well, I haven't seen you out in so long." Later, to over hear the "click groups" making snide remarks like, "he needs Jenny Craig"..."girl done got fat"..."I'm def going to the gym in the morning, after seeing that" What's sad is, these are all guys past the age of 25!!! I really took this to heart, cause the next day, Aaron told me that his feelings were hurt. It's sad that gay culture is the first to call blame for bullying, but some will do the same. Not trying to bash gay culture, but why are so many guys so shallow. I know this is a question as old as time, but I don't feel I'm alone in feeling this. This also raises the question, are we just being socialized to be shallow. Has breathing in too much Abercrombie cologne, listening to too much Beyonce, and watching every Real Housewives...created a super shallow modern day gay? In conclusion, they're def 2 different types of gays. The relaxed and chill guys, that are always up for making new friends. And the others, who whenever shake your hand, have to take a few seconds to give a reply....You all know these types! And leave the big question...Are you a Mean girl, of are you a Cool girl???icon_question.gif
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Feb 01, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    Hi I studied psychology as an undergrad. Now I'm qualified to make sweeping generalisations
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 01, 2013 2:59 PM GMT
    Really, there are only two types of gay man-girls??? I guess I was wrong when I thought there was diversity.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 01, 2013 3:01 PM GMT
    Neither, I'm not a girl
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    Feb 01, 2013 3:15 PM GMT
    I know it's supposed to be lighthearted. But neither.






    And it's not "click," it's "clique." Pet peeve.
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    Feb 01, 2013 3:24 PM GMT
    showme saidI know it's supposed to be lighthearted. But neither.






    And it's not "click," it's "clique." Pet peeve.

    Yes, not to be taken too seriously. A peeve of mine as well. Damn typos lol
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    Feb 01, 2013 4:17 PM GMT
    Let me quickly unfold my wings and protect you from the immense amount of shade you may just get

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    Guys and girls alike when they are in cliques generally have a hive mind. So its unfortunate that your friend was subjected to that. My best answer is that you continue to support your friend and never mind the the ding a ling comments your group of friends made. It kinda shows that they are not the best people to hang with. Find other groups that are lot more tolerant for 'gay fat'

    fyi I never even heard that term before until now!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 01, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    Back in the late '60s when I was first coming out... and all through my 20s... this "mean girl" shit is how I experienced "gay" (the word was just beginning to get traction) culture. I had enough self-worth issues stemming from growing up with an abusive father. The last thing I needed was catty bs from cliques of guys. Even if they weren't ragging on me (I *was* cute back then but didn't know it) it always upset me to hear it going on.

    The consequence for me was to distance myself from the gay "scene" for many, many years. It wasn't until I was almost 40 (and after the HIV crisis which did have some positive, uniting effects on "gay culture") that I began to socialize more with gay men.

    I don't mind some silliness and fun but some guys take cattiness (bad mouthing guys behind their backs) to such an extreme I can't even tolerate them, much less be friends with them. For me it shows a lack of self-respect externalized and projected outward onto others.

    I don't like people who play games with other people's heads or self-worth. I don't care what one's gender or sexual orientation is. I put up with it here on the forum to a point but if someone irks me enough I just put them on ignore. No one needs that shit in their lives.

    /grump
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    Feb 01, 2013 5:59 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidReally, there are only two types of gay man-girls??? I guess I was wrong when I thought there was diversity.icon_rolleyes.gif


    Yeah, I know. I super appreciate the stereotype that gay men aren't men, but in fact women. I guess there are things book learnin' can't teach ya.
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:05 PM GMT
    where my mean girls at holla
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:18 PM GMT
    Kai808 saidNeither, I'm not a girl


    What Kai said ^

    but if i had a gun to my head and had to choose it would be 'Cool Girl'
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:20 PM GMT
    Can I just be a good girl instead? icon_redface.gif
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:22 PM GMT


    No none of the above, I'm a naughty little boy icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:22 PM GMT
    Lets not put in Girl altogether , we're men!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:27 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidLets not put in Girl altogether , we're men!


    yes. girls r gross
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:28 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidLets not put in Girl altogether , we're men!


    Amen to that!
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:35 PM GMT
    fable saidHi I studied psychology as an undergrad. Now I'm qualified to make sweeping generalisations

    This.
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:36 PM GMT
    This is why I don't like Psychology majors or people who take intro level psychology classes. They're too busy trying to analyze people for their own benefits instead of trying to help them.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 01, 2013 6:39 PM GMT
    MrPerfect7592 saidThis is why I don't like Psychology majors or people who take intro level psychology classes. They're too busy trying to analyze people for their own benefits instead of trying to help them.


    They're usually the ones who need the most help.icon_lol.gif

    #Iguessthatmakesmemean
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:42 PM GMT
    I believe in being "sweet" as funny as that sounds.

    I like to give real compliments to people I don't know because It makes me feel good.

    I've found many of time more masculine guys as well to be more generalizing then some of the more femme "clicky boys"

    Anyways I hate all that shit and just try to avoid the bar scene completely for the last two years and I'm much happier!
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:42 PM GMT
    I have been concerned that compartmentalization was just TOO complicated.

    Thank GAWD someone has reduced a HUGE viable segment of the World Population down to just two.

    What a RELIEF!!!!

    Now I can spend moar time sewing feathers onto My sequin cape for Gay Pride!!!!!

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    Feb 01, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    Cash saidI have been concerned that compartmentalization was just TOO complicated.

    Thank GAWD someone has reduced a HUGE viable segment of the World Population down to just two.

    What a RELIEF!!!!

    Now I can spend moar time sewing feathers onto My sequin cape for Gay Pride!!!!!

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif


    Bad gay, the sequins go on your jockstrap.
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:54 PM GMT
    showme said
    Cash saidI have been concerned that compartmentalization was just TOO complicated.

    Thank GAWD someone has reduced a HUGE viable segment of the World Population down to just two.

    What a RELIEF!!!!

    Now I can spend moar time sewing feathers onto My sequin cape for Gay Pride!!!!!

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif


    Bad gay, the sequins go on your jockstrap.


    Didn't You hear???

    I am ONLY wearing a cape this year!!!!!

    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

    icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

    icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
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    Feb 01, 2013 6:57 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    MrPerfect7592 saidThis is why I don't like Psychology majors or people who take intro level psychology classes. They're too busy trying to analyze people for their own benefits instead of trying to help them.


    They're usually the ones who need the most help.icon_lol.gif

    #Iguessthatmakesmemean


    index.php?size=full&src=http%3A%2F%2Fpho
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    Feb 01, 2013 8:24 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    MrPerfect7592 saidThis is why I don't like Psychology majors or people who take intro level psychology classes. They're too busy trying to analyze people for their own benefits instead of trying to help them.


    They're usually the ones who need the most help.

    All the crazies become psych majors.

    Yeah sweeping generalizations can be fun.