Is the new norm to date a man that looks just like you!!!

  • stolsie007

    Posts: 1

    Feb 02, 2013 1:47 PM GMT
    I am seeing it more and more, gay men are dating men that look just like them. I mean do they really feel that insecure that they have to date a man that looks like they do just to feel sexy and good about themselves. If it is not for the big dick (mind you I love a man with a big dick) its how much money you have and where you live. What happened to great connections, love and the best sex with your life partner. Let's see what others have to say?
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    Feb 02, 2013 1:53 PM GMT
    my BF and I only look similar when I don't shave. and it's just in the face, really. totally different body types. I didn't particularly think of this when we first met.

    I can understand though, why some people would go after something similar to themselves -- if you like the way you look, wouldn't you want more of that? maybe?
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    Feb 02, 2013 1:57 PM GMT
    Yes, some people (gay and straight) date for insecure reasons. So what? I do see some gay men, especially bear people, who seem to date almost identical versions of themselves and this can be kind of cute or kind of scary, depends on the beard length and size of the protruding stomach.
    For me personally, I went as far as possible to make sure that as we, partner and I, grow old together, we will continue to not look anything like one another. Asian Sumo partner agrees.
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:45 PM GMT
    I'm not sure it's deliberate. You can't control to whom you're attracted. Birds of the same feather . . . . For example, highly educated people tend to be attracted to similar guys; muscle guys tend to be attracted to other muscle guys. You get the picture.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 02, 2013 2:46 PM GMT
    Never met anyone who looks just like me... My bf and I look nothing alike.
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidNever met anyone who looks just like me... My bf and I look nothing alike.


    Pictures speak louder than words!
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    Feb 02, 2013 2:59 PM GMT
    willular saidmy BF and I only look similar when I don't shave. and it's just in the face, really. totally different body types. I didn't particularly think of this when we first met.

    I can understand though, why some people would go after something similar to themselves -- if you like the way you look, wouldn't you want more of that? maybe?


    No! I like the way I look but if I had an identical twin brother, I wouldn't do him. My preference is, and has always been, for someone opposite of what I look like.
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    Feb 02, 2013 3:44 PM GMT


    "I mean do they really feel that insecure that they have to date a man that looks like they do just to feel sexy and good about themselves."

    Nope. That's magnificently incorrect.
  • RollDontWalk

    Posts: 187

    Feb 02, 2013 6:36 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    "I mean do they really feel that insecure that they have to date a man that looks like they do just to feel sexy and good about themselves."

    Nope. That's magnificently incorrect.

    I don't think its about insecurity, but a desire on both sides for a relationship with the most equal distribution of power, one factor of which is perceived attractiveness.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 02, 2013 6:40 PM GMT
    RollDontWalk said
    meninlove said

    "I mean do they really feel that insecure that they have to date a man that looks like they do just to feel sexy and good about themselves."

    Nope. That's magnificently incorrect.

    I don't think its about insecurity, but a desire on both sides for a relationship with the most equal distribution of power, one factor of which is perceived attractiveness.


    Hmm, I never thought of it as a power struggle, lol.

    I've been in relationship for 8 years and I'm just happy he still wants me!icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 02, 2013 6:43 PM GMT
    RollDontWalk said
    meninlove said

    "I mean do they really feel that insecure that they have to date a man that looks like they do just to feel sexy and good about themselves."

    Nope. That's magnificently incorrect.

    I don't think its about insecurity, but a desire on both sides for a relationship with the most equal distribution of power, one factor of which is perceived attractiveness.


    Here's something for you.

    Fred and John both admire a certain look or appearance. They emulate it. One day they meet. Sparks of attraction fly and they start a relationship. That's it. Often we tend to read more into something than is actually there. icon_wink.gif

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    Feb 02, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    My friends always tell me whenever I point out a guy that I think is attractive, they usually resemble me.

    I don't really see it, but I guess I am attracted to general traits that might be similar to my own.

    For example, usually like guys that are around my height, with dark hair, athletic-to-muscular builds so I guess I see where they're coming from.
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    Feb 02, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    No, this has been an old gay stereotype since I was a teenager.
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    Feb 02, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    Meh, I wouldn't date someone who looked like me.
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Feb 02, 2013 6:50 PM GMT
    The only reason I think this is the case is with muscular guys who workout and shape themselves to what they are attracted to. Thats the only time i've seen this anyway

    But then again I am dreamy so another one of me came about hahahahaahahhaa just kidding icon_razz.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 02, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    7Famark saidMy friends always tell me whenever I point out a guy that I think is attractive, they usually resemble me.

    I don't really see it, but I guess I am attracted to general traits that might be similar to my own.

    For example, usually like guys that are around my height, with dark hair, athletic-to-muscular builds so I guess I see where they're coming from.


    That's because you're hot.

    In my experience my tastes have evolved from when I was in 20s to my 30s, but it's also become more of an abstract appreciation for others rather than a practical search for a partner, because I'm already in a relationship.
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    Feb 02, 2013 6:57 PM GMT
    I see that a lot, I do not want to date anyone that looks remotely like me, lol.
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    Feb 02, 2013 7:04 PM GMT
    Hate to disillusion you, but great connections, love and the best sex with your life partner is alive and well.

    Think you may be projecting a little.
    Myopic vision--only spotting hot guy's not unlike most the rest of us, but you take it further when this same hot guy is with another hot guy and not only assume their gay, but also together, because subconsciously that's what you want.

    The muscle jocks I've known, worked out, hung out, traded ripped tanks, but went home to their hot twink or fury daddy.
    other couples we associate with are all interracial and scream "miss match".
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    Feb 02, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    one day i will be able to just clone myself, and well....... then i will just date myself, in a new way...icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 02, 2013 7:10 PM GMT
    Kai808 saidI see that a lot, I do not want to date anyone that looks remotely like me, lol.



    Hey Congrats, Mr MOTD!

    Take a look at your hot list and you'll several men that OTHERS may very well describe as looking similar to yourself. icon_wink.gif

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    Feb 02, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    This topic is interesting in that I've heard men say, and have read posts that say similar things about couples with same first name, similar clothing, similar vehicles, similar careers.

    icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 02, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    maybe its that competition thing again and those pesky cock blocking friends,

    Or the, is he "out of your league", thing...looking the same avoids competition?

    All the league issues so far
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  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 02, 2013 7:13 PM GMT
    I've seen similar looking guys dating for years. Hell, 20 years ago I was seeing a guy that everyone said looked like my twin, but we didn't see it.
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    Feb 02, 2013 7:48 PM GMT
    Ewwwww.... I cannot imagine wanting to date someone that looks like me.... Ewwwww....
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    Feb 02, 2013 7:48 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Kai808 saidI see that a lot, I do not want to date anyone that looks remotely like me, lol.



    Hey Congrats, Mr MOTD!

    Take a look at your hot list and you'll several men that OTHERS may very well describe as looking similar to yourself. icon_wink.gif




    Hmmm I don't know, I'm usually attracted to white, big guys and lighter features. But that's not set in stone, there are guys of all races that I find attractive.