false/ fake love?

  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    so.. couple months ago (6mos) i met this guy.. on this gay roulette thing, and there was an immediate click.
    i like(love)d him, and he feels the same way. the problem is we both live in two different countries. im in usa and hes in brazil.
    he's smart, hot, awesome and all around a very well grounded guy.
    we talked on a daily basis, declaring our fondness for each other, became BF,.. until his family found out about him. i just find it weird for a smart and tech-savvy guy can be caught easily by his family from his laptop(said his mom read his emails (??))

    i told him i can get a free ticket to brazil from my friends but he said he's afraid of hurting me because of his family.he didn't want me to give up my life here. he's like no one i ever met. the time we talked everyday he'd say all these sweet, lovely and genuine stuff and totally swooned me over the moon. he'd always say that long distance shouldn't be a problem just because of our love to each other.
    ever since the incident happened, he was never online, didn't really pick up my call and i'm starting to worry. i'm hurt and sad. kind of confused too.

    what do i do? move on? or what?
    valentines comin around and love SUCKS.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    I never understood how long distance relationships could work....whether it was across state lines or country borders. :/

    don't mean to sound like a downer, but if i were in your shoes, i'd probably try to look somewhere a little closer to home.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:26 AM GMT
    Lehurrdurr saidso.. couple months ago (6mos) i met this guy.. on this gay roulette thing, and there was an immediate click.
    i like(love)d him


    If you're expressing what you think is love to/for someone you haven't met and only know through the internet you're moving way too fast with unrealistic and ungrounded expectations.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:27 AM GMT
    It's over. Whether his family is really the problem, or an excuse, it's over. You've got opportunities right there in NYC - use them.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 03, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    sometimes the desire to be with someone is so strong that we illude ourselves
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    Narciso said
    Lehurrdurr saidso.. couple months ago (6mos) i met this guy.. on this gay roulette thing, and there was an immediate click.
    i like(love)d him


    If you're expressing what you think is love to/for someone you haven't met and only know through the internet you're moving way too fast with unrealistic and ungrounded expectations.


    no no.. i thought it was love but during those 6months period it just grew more and more intense than i expected. and this is kind of hard to accept for more because i'm alot more leery and guarded when it comes to these things. like what could happen you know. but ya, it grew stronger and deep, and both of us totally didn't see it coming.
    even though it was long distance, but we kept each other updated literally every 5 minutes to compensate for the distance issues.

    which is why i'm kind of debating if i should fight for what we had or give it up since it's literally.. nonexistent?
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:39 AM GMT
    Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidsometimes the desire to be with someone is so strong that we illude ourselves


    this may be so.. but i'm not that desperate that i need to illude myself to this point
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:42 AM GMT
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.

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    Feb 03, 2013 4:45 AM GMT
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.



    Cool, that makes it far more legitimate. Now as far as his emails go, he may have left his account logged on when he was at his parents (or living with them) and they looked.

    But WHY is visiting him so problematic for him?
    Why does he think that a visit from you means you are giving up your life in NYC?

    For example, you can't just emigrate to Brazil on a vacation.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:46 AM GMT
    Please do yourself a favor and start looking for love a little closer to home. This guy wasted your time to validate his need for someone to project their desire to be with him. The moment he got that, he'll move along to the next guy..

    That guy is an Internet Incubus.

    tumblr_mhaxfpRECa1ro2whso1_500.gif
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidPlease do yourself a favor and start looking for love a little closer to home. This guy wasted your time to validate his need for someone to project their desire to be with him. The moment he got that, he'll move along to the next guy..

    That guy is an Internet Incubus.

    tumblr_mhaxfpRECa1ro2whso1_500.gif


    whoa.. that pic's so disturbingly scary that it almost changed my opinion..
    almost..icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    tumblr_mexpafJ5851rouyxzo1_500.gif
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.



    Cool, that makes it far more legitimate. Now as far as his emails go, he may have left his account logged on when he was at his parents (or living with them) and they looked.

    But WHY is visiting him so problematic for him?
    Why does he think that a visit from you means you are giving up your life in NYC?

    Fort example, you can't just emigrate to Brazil on a vacation.


    well.. because he's moving into a new apt for college and would live by himself and for some reason we both automatically assumed that i'd moveicon_lol.gifso stupid
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:51 AM GMT
    xrichx saidtumblr_mexpafJ5851rouyxzo1_500.gif


    20h54s3.jpg
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:52 AM GMT
    Don't come to judgement...without knowing the other end of the story!

    I don't know whether long distance relations work or not! who knows!, 'Truth is stranger than fiction' isn't it?

    Try few more days mailing him...(but always be prepared to let down your feelings!)
    Didn't you exchanged numbers?

    anyway, wish you all the best!
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 4:55 AM GMT
    Harry7785 saidDon't come to judgement...without knowing the other end of the story!

    I don't know whether long distance relations work or not! who knows!, 'Truth is stranger than fiction' isn't it?

    Try few more days mailing him...(but always be prepared to let down your feelings!)
    Didn't you exchanged numbers?

    anyway, wish you all the best!


    it's been a week.

    but because i missed him so much.. i channeled my misery into something else *COUGHrandomhookupCOUGH*
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:58 AM GMT
    Harry7785 saidDon't come to judgement...without knowing the other end of the story!

    I don't know whether long distance relations work or not! who knows!, 'Truth is stranger than fiction' isn't it?

    Try few more days mailing him...(but always be prepared to let down your feelings!)
    Didn't you exchanged numbers?

    anyway, wish you all the best!


    Hate to break this to you but this EXACTLY how most people are duped by false claims of love.

    Yes there can be those rare occasions but most often enough, its a catfish of one form or another.
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    Feb 03, 2013 5:00 AM GMT
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.



    Cool, that makes it far more legitimate. Now as far as his emails go, he may have left his account logged on when he was at his parents (or living with them) and they looked.

    But WHY is visiting him so problematic for him?
    Why does he think that a visit from you means you are giving up your life in NYC?

    Fort example, you can't just emigrate to Brazil on a vacation.


    well.. because he's moving into a new apt for college and would live by himself and for some reason we both automatically assumed that i'd moveicon_lol.gifso stupid


    Well, if he's living by himself and has a guest visiting from another country what does his family have to do with it?

    It is a little odd. I think you should decide to just be good friends.

    He doesn't want you to visit, and is not speaking with you now, and you said you were starting to worry. About what?
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 5:02 AM GMT
    Fivealive said
    Harry7785 saidDon't come to judgement...without knowing the other end of the story!

    I don't know whether long distance relations work or not! who knows!, 'Truth is stranger than fiction' isn't it?

    Try few more days mailing him...(but always be prepared to let down your feelings!)
    Didn't you exchanged numbers?

    anyway, wish you all the best!


    Hate to break this to you but this EXACTLY how most people are duped by false claims of love.

    Yes there can be those rare occasions but most often enough, its a catfish of one form or another.


    so in my case it's a false love?

    34650kn.jpg
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 5:04 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.



    Cool, that makes it far more legitimate. Now as far as his emails go, he may have left his account logged on when he was at his parents (or living with them) and they looked.

    But WHY is visiting him so problematic for him?
    Why does he think that a visit from you means you are giving up your life in NYC?

    Fort example, you can't just emigrate to Brazil on a vacation.


    well.. because he's moving into a new apt for college and would live by himself and for some reason we both automatically assumed that i'd moveicon_lol.gifso stupid


    Well, if he's living by himself and has a guest visiting from another country what does his family have to do with it?

    It is a little odd. I think you should decide to just be good friends.

    He doesn't want you to visit, and is not speaking with you now, and you said you were starting to worry. About what?


    well.. last i heard from him was a quick updated of what had happened. he was tortured by his family esp his mom and they berated him and (idk what happened) he ended up in the hospital.

    so.. that's why i kind of worry and took it to the heart
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    Feb 03, 2013 5:07 AM GMT
    Fivealive said
    Harry7785 saidDon't come to judgement...without knowing the other end of the story!

    I don't know whether long distance relations work or not! who knows!, 'Truth is stranger than fiction' isn't it?

    Try few more days mailing him...(but always be prepared to let down your feelings!)
    Didn't you exchanged numbers?

    anyway, wish you all the best!


    Hate to break this to you but this EXACTLY how most people are duped by false claims of love.

    Yes there can be those rare occasions but most often enough, its a catfish of one form or another.


    I'm not optimistic but, he may be lucky enough to have those rare occasions!
    I'm not bringing up his hopes, I just suggested him not to quit without even trying! since he said he loved him!
    When one has high expectations, they shouldn't be let down without even giving a chance to try one more time...
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    Feb 03, 2013 5:09 AM GMT
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.



    Cool, that makes it far more legitimate. Now as far as his emails go, he may have left his account logged on when he was at his parents (or living with them) and they looked.

    But WHY is visiting him so problematic for him?
    Why does he think that a visit from you means you are giving up your life in NYC?

    Fort example, you can't just emigrate to Brazil on a vacation.


    well.. because he's moving into a new apt for college and would live by himself and for some reason we both automatically assumed that i'd moveicon_lol.gifso stupid


    Well, if he's living by himself and has a guest visiting from another country what does his family have to do with it?

    It is a little odd. I think you should decide to just be good friends.

    He doesn't want you to visit, and is not speaking with you now, and you said you were starting to worry. About what?


    well.. last i heard from him was a quick updated of what had happened. he was tortured by his family esp his mom and they berated him and (idk what happened) he ended up in the hospital.

    so.. that's why i kind of worry and took it to the heart


    Good gosh, you know that sounds a little weird, right? His mother tortured him and so he ended up in the hospital? Srsly? Did she use a knife? A rolling pin? This is sounding so odd.
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 03, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said
    Lehurrdurr said
    meninlove said Well, a couple of things.
    You have only communicated via text and no voice phone calls or cam with skype?

    He doesn't want you to visit because he doesn't want you to give up your life up here.
    Why does visiting him in Brazil on a vacation mean giving up your life in NYC?


    we communicated in every way there is. text, phone, skype, facetime, etcs.



    Cool, that makes it far more legitimate. Now as far as his emails go, he may have left his account logged on when he was at his parents (or living with them) and they looked.

    But WHY is visiting him so problematic for him?
    Why does he think that a visit from you means you are giving up your life in NYC?

    Fort example, you can't just emigrate to Brazil on a vacation.








    Good gosh, you know that sounds a little weird, right? His mother tortured him and so he ended up in the hospital? Srsly? Did she use a knife? A rolling pin? This is sounding so odd.


    um.. i'm sure this is not the doing of his mom, more like his dad (or both of them. he didn't want to dish out details because he wanted to protect me and not to worry and just to let me know that he's basically 'ok' by letting me know of that quick update)
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    Feb 03, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    Er, protect you from what, exactly?