Marooned on a gayless deserted island

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    Feb 03, 2013 5:01 AM GMT
    So about a year ago, I moved to a tiny town in the West for a new job. I kept telling myself I could stick it for a few years, but it's starting to really weigh on me. I think I might even be turning straight. For the first time in my life, I'm tempted to date girls, just out of sheer boredom. :0)

    Are any of you living in rural or in a really conservative area? How do you handle it? Do you find gay guys to hang with? Any coping strategies?
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    Feb 03, 2013 5:04 AM GMT
    oozyrat saidSo about a year ago, I moved to a tiny town in the West for a new job. I kept telling myself I could stick it for a few years, but it's starting to really weigh on me. I think I might even be turning straight. For the first time in my life, I'm tempted to date girls, just out of sheer boredom. :0)

    Are any of you living in rural or in a really conservative area? How do you handle it? Do you find gay guys to hang with? Any coping strategies?


    This is why airplanes fly to San Francisco, Seattle, Denver, and Vancouver.

    Also, try chicks. You might like them.
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Feb 03, 2013 5:07 AM GMT
    I live in NE Connecticut, aka "the quiet corner"; so I'm sort of on my own out here. My solution; take the trip out to New York.

    It's only a couple of hours away, and I can usually just crash with friends for the weekend or whatever.

  • Jerebear

    Posts: 329

    Feb 03, 2013 5:38 AM GMT
    I've worked in places like that. Its tough to find the other queers in the neighbourhood. Once I found them, we would stick together and I liked that, out of necessity, it was mixed - lesbians and gays, young and old, a variety of people that ordinarily have nothing to do with each other. Ironically, I was around a much more diverse group than I ever was in the most diverse city.

    It wasnt possible to find a good boyfriend, the pickings too slim, so that had to wait, but easy to find sex though, men who like dick are EVERYwhere, especially amoungst the repressed small town religious types.
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    Feb 03, 2013 1:44 PM GMT
    I've been there. And I just shut my libido off, and focus more on the other reasons why I'm living there. You can still have a rich life without sex or gay stuff. It may not be as awesome, but hey.....
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    Feb 03, 2013 2:04 PM GMT
    grindr-pushes-gay-users-to-vote-1-488-13
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    Feb 03, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    I live in Western Louisiana. in the woods. In a small town of about 8k people. talk about shittay....thank God I've already got a partner.

    I used to live in northwest Oklahoma. I would drive an hour and a half to Oklahoma City just to meet guys. This was a combonation of 1) DADT still being around, and you can't really find guys in a small town without word spreading around.... and 2) the gay population was next to nill anyways.

    I've put thousands of miles on my truck over the years of living in small towns. if only it was a claimable business expense!
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    Feb 03, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    Roguewave saidgrindr-pushes-gay-users-to-vote-1-488-13

    Yeah like one guy at 100 KM.
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    Feb 03, 2013 2:16 PM GMT
    Date a woman. Change one type of suffering for another type of suffering. At least you'll have someone to talk with, go out with, eat with, celebrate your birthday and holidays with, encourage you to do your chores.
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    Feb 03, 2013 3:04 PM GMT
    I grew up three hours north of Blackfoot and am frankly shocked to see some one else from that part of the world on here.

    Want to know the secret to withstanding such isolation from men and culture? Sports. Not kidding. All the closeted gays in those towns (myself included) were sports crazy. Rock climbing, snowshoeing, cross country skiing, backpacking... that's what Idaho is good for. Just drive up to Mackay, Stanley, or Challis, and learn to rough it.
  • calibro

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    Feb 03, 2013 3:22 PM GMT
    i'm sure there's a republican club there
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    Feb 03, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    Yogi567 saidI grew up three hours north of Blackfoot and am frankly shocked to see some one else from that part of the world on here.

    Want to know the secret to withstanding such isolation from men and culture? Sports. Not kidding. All the closeted gays in those towns (myself included) were sports crazy. Rock climbing, snowshoeing, cross country skiing, backpacking... that's what Idaho is good for. Just drive up to Mackay, Stanley, or Challis, and learn to rough it.


    This sounds like a smart approach. You just never know who you might "bump into" on a hike!
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    Feb 03, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    GAMRican said

    This sounds like a smart approach. You just never know who you might "bump into" on a hike!

    Yeah better carry some lube and condom.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    PolaroidSwinger saidI live in NE Connecticut, aka "the quiet corner"; so I'm sort of on my own out here. My solution; take the trip out to New York.

    It's only a couple of hours away, and I can usually just crash with friends for the weekend or whatever.



    Boston seems closer to you!
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Feb 03, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    gayusasian82 said
    PolaroidSwinger saidI live in NE Connecticut, aka "the quiet corner"; so I'm sort of on my own out here. My solution; take the trip out to New York.

    It's only a couple of hours away, and I can usually just crash with friends for the weekend or whatever.



    Boston seems closer to you!


    It is, but I'm not big on Boston.
    I've been tons of times, but it's vibe is too conservative. Allston is a lot more fun if I'm in that area.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    My state is pretty conservative; there is always an oasis somewhere in the conservative desert. Salt Lake is one of the gayest cities. I used to drive an hour just to go out on the weekends. It kept me sane until I could actually move to the city.

    Good luck man.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:34 PM GMT
    It is a little different for me , as i work imposes lot of travelling in different zones and at my age i don't recover as fast as before , I put my libido in low mode and everything is bloody fine and dandy icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    Roguewave saidgrindr-pushes-gay-users-to-vote-1-488-13


    You should see my Grindr screen, it's like a SNL skit. The closest 20 people are like, 150 miles away, 230 miles away.
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    Feb 03, 2013 4:41 PM GMT
    oozyrat said
    You should see my Grindr screen, it's like a SNL skit. The closest 20 people are like, 150 miles away, 230 miles away.

    Yeah that's depressing.
  • camfer

    Posts: 891

    Feb 03, 2013 5:11 PM GMT
    In an area of tiny towns and limited cell service, smart phone apps are not going to be the way guys meet. Using a gay website or gay app is too uncomfortable for a lot of guys in the sticks. I think you're limited to meeting guys in real life or craigslist. Few if any will be openly gay or even think of themselves as gay. They're just guys who kinda uh, like guys every once in a while, lol. So you accept that the guys are closeted. You decide if you're only willing to have sex with the single guys or the ones that are cheating on a girlfriend or a wife. Then, you travel a lot. In your case it's driving to Boise, Pocatello, and Salt Lake City.

    Or you fill your life with so much good stuff to do that you're fulfilled and busy and have no time for men.
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    Feb 03, 2013 5:13 PM GMT
    Lived in a semi rural area (though they called it a city, ha!). I moved. Not that where I am now is anywhere near great or even good, but at least it's an actual urban place.
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    Feb 03, 2013 6:54 PM GMT
    Save it up for the occasional weekend in the city.