Are masculine gay men more accepted then feminine gay men?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 3:05 AM GMT
    What do you think? I'm personally a fem dragqueen majority the time I talk to guys I'm like denied cause I'm a fem drag queen and its really like annoying cause this who I am and I want find love and relationship but its just so difficult like I just feel like picking up 40lbs weights and becoming masc just I can actually have guy talk to me. Is this normal for me feel so jaded I bet if I was hot that would change.. but I really like having a slim figure to fit an illusion of women in my way. And please noh8 I want read what people have to say about this I don't want to see random threads of angry men attacking me. Please & thank you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 3:09 AM GMT
    Here, some interesting reading for you:

    [url]http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/?searchtext=fem%20guys[/url]
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Feb 04, 2013 3:24 AM GMT
    I thought this was a sarcastic thread at first but now I'm not sure.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 04, 2013 3:28 AM GMT
    Not if I have anything to say about it. icon_smile.gif

    Just be yourself, and don't apologize for it. Scientists can't explain why we're gay, and you don't owe anyone an explanation either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 3:40 AM GMT


    "If they don't like your peaches, don't let 'em shake your tree. Move on."

    This is a keeper. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidAs a 6'4" (masc) bottom
    you're 6'4"? icon_eek.gif
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Feb 04, 2013 4:16 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidAs a 6'4" (masc) bottom, I can tell you there are very few guys who are looking for a mid-forties version of that.


    *wink wink*
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 04, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    Yourname2000 As a 6'4" (masc) bottom.


    You're masc?icon_eek.gif

    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 4:19 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Yourname2000 As a 6'4" (masc) bottom.
    You're masc?icon_eek.gif
    icon_lol.gif
    I was half expecting Dave to reply to me with "I'm surprised you didn't ask about being masc." icon_lol.gif
  • Jerebear

    Posts: 329

    Feb 04, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    You've got one life, don't waste any time not being what you really are. You'll give less and less fucks about what other people think of it in time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 4:41 AM GMT
    desxxxoh saidAre masculine gay men more accepted then feminine gay men?


    Yes. And I'm a little surprised you even have to ask.
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Feb 04, 2013 4:45 AM GMT
    tbh here is how I view *all* gay men:

    I view gay men has having a very balanced levels of male/female inside their own being. Almost too balanced. Gay men are usually good writers/spiritual guides/priests/shamans/psychologists/social workers/therapists because of this.

    And because we gay guys are so balanced with our own masculinity and femininity, we are attracted to other people who are the same way. We say opposites attract. But if you already balance those 'opposites' inside yourself so well, then you are going to be attracted to other two-spirits etc.

    Yes most of the time gay men hate each other. It's the same thing with straight females and straight males. They loathe each other, but secretly - they want to find one they are compatible with.

    The truth is you are neither masculine or feminine you are somebody who is so balanced with both that you are a *third* gender all together.

    Gay men are very caring and compassionate and also masculine all in the same person. They have empathy like females but also a sex drive of males. They tend to be nicer than straight males, but not as nice as a pure straight female. We are simple hybrids. that's how biology made us and it makes sense.

    You can think yourself as pure femme or pure masc until the cow comes home but it's not true.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    Feb 04, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said There are still plenty of Asians, HIV+, short guys, and tall bottoms happily in long lasting loving relationships. So the system does work.


    One of these "disabilities" is ethnic lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    Just be yourself. Somebody's going to love you eventually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:01 AM GMT
    I agree
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:01 AM GMT
    Just be who you are. There will always be people who will judge you just for being gay (masc or fem). No need to compound the problem by unfairly judging yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:27 AM GMT

    First of all,
    I support everybody just be themselves, as long as there's no harm to others.

    But we live in a society.
    Sometimes if we want to get results, we need to change ourselves firstly.
    There's a saying, no pains, no gains.
    Adaptive evolution. Jump out of your comfortable zone.

    That's why I am on this forum: to learn the gay culture of the Western world.
    If I want to feel more comfortable, I would stay at home watching Chinese movies all day long. Or don't come here in the first place.

    In you case,
    There's nothing wrong to be yourself, be fem or whatever. It's totally okay.
    But if you want more attention, I think you need to adjust your karma.
    Or, you can find other ways to achieve your goal. Be creative and resourceful.

    My English is limited. I don't know if you get it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:28 AM GMT
    desxxxoh saidWhat do you think? I'm personally a fem dragqueen majority the time I talk to guys I'm like denied cause I'm a fem drag queen and its really like annoying cause this who I am and I want find love and relationship but its just so difficult like I just feel like picking up 40lbs weights and becoming masc just I can actually have guy talk to me. Is this normal for me feel so jaded I bet if I was hot that would change.. but I really like having a slim figure to fit an illusion of women in my way. And please noh8 I want read what people have to say about this I don't want to see random threads of angry men attacking me. Please & thank you.


    Folks have their preferences. If you like masculine jocks, this is a good site for that.

    As such, personally, if I wanted to date girls, I would, and could, but, every person has their preferences.

    If you act a certain way, dress a certain way, have blue hair, etc., you should expect a certain level of rejection. It comes with the territory.

    If you wanta' be a flamer, that's your thing, and there's certain folks that think it's part of the gay identity, but, lots of gay men are quite happy to act like typical guys. It helps to break down stereotypes.

    If you wanta' wear a dress, that's your thing, but, any time you deviate beyond a certain level from "norm", you can expect, and, in fact, set yourself up for rejection. You get to decide if you like that rejection, or not.

    The World is not a fair place, and all accepting. We have expectations set upon all us the time: behavior, appearance, etc. Sound judgment protects us in life's journey, and being judgmental is imperative to success.

    Gay acceptance has come a long way because folks have found out their best friend is gay, and he's not a flamer, and so on.

    You are who you are, and, if that's who you are, you should seek out like minded folks, rather than seeking rejection and whining.

    I have skinny gay guys that lash out at me for looking a certain way, but, of course, that's angry projection, and, I take it for what it is.

    Rather than complaining, you need to engineer an intelligent community of like minded people. Folks like what they like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:32 AM GMT
    Fem guys are not girls. I'm tired of the "if I wanted to date girls..." cliche.

    I've been attracted to somewhat fem guys. Never to a girl. So?
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:35 AM GMT
    nevz saidFem guys are not girls. I'm tired of the "if I wanted to date girls..." cliche.

    I've been attracted to somewhat fem guys. Never to a girl. So?


    So? You are a perfect match to OP
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Feb 04, 2013 5:38 AM GMT
    From my own personal assumptions I would say yes because masculine gay men can fit more socially acceptable or the archetype of "normal" so something like a feminine quirk or habit isn't noticed more often with guys who are feminine.

    Factors to be considered are where you live.

    I live in an Indiana suburb and it is not acceptable to be feminine. If you go to Chicago, you can come as you are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:47 AM GMT
    There are self loathing masc guys and self loathing fem guys. Both are turn offs. A confident, self-assured guy is the most easily accepted, whether masc or fem. I work with 5 gay guys and not one of us is the same, but we all are pretty confident in ourselves in many ways. Feminine guys take the brunt of the abuse in our community while some of us more "masc" guys nurse our "others may not accept me" fear (which in the end, is really no different than the fear any gay guy has).

    Whatever you decide to be, be confident in it please. Confident guys are accepted more readily than any other group and draw people of all backgrounds and orientations to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    Just do you, and own it - other than that it doesn't really matter and is mostly internal.

    photo tumblr_mfizdg8T1x1qifrnho1_250_zpsa5897501.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 04, 2013 5:51 AM GMT
    MidwesternKid saidFrom my own personal assumptions I would say yes because masculine gay men can fit more socially acceptable or the archetype of "normal" so something like a feminine quirk or habit isn't noticed more often with guys who are feminine.

    Factors to be considered are where you live.

    I live in an Indiana suburb and it is not acceptable to be feminine. If you go to Chicago, you can come as you are.


    Really, I'm surprised anyone cares tbh.
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Feb 04, 2013 5:57 AM GMT
    tbh its a bit off putting for people sometimes. we have our own prejudices.

    in chicago once i saw these two gay guys talk and they were very stereotypically 'gossip-y queen-y' gays and I was bothered by them. I shouldn't have been sensitive to them, but I found them annoying even though I knew it was wrong.

    I kinda heard them say some really nice things though, and I felt like such a douche. They were really so sweet, they were just FLAMERS and I was bothered by that- cuz I mean yeah, that's just not how men were expected to behave in my small rednecky town at all. Like, it's just a weird getting-used-to thing.

    I was taught that to be a man, ie to be worthy- you were silent, you kept to yourself, you did a lot of hardwork. I was also taught you kinda treated other people like shite emotionally. "It was a woman's job to be that caring for others" etc.

    that's a hard change for people and we can't expect people from small towns to become hip worldly emotionally evolved people over night. As it doesn't work that way. We can't narcissistically blast them with pictures of Black Divas and think everything will be okay. These things will just take time, hatred of your femininity will naturally wear off when other people get used to ya. =) And if it doesn't that person will be the one ostracized, not you. It will just take some time. It gets better. =p