Getting Friends

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2013 10:43 PM GMT
    How hard is to make friends? i find it really hard to find real friends, i have no luck in that. only for 3 exceptions in my life. But...they live back in my place. I am new to Orlando Florida, i got my new licence, and, i had been here since August 2012, and i haven find any friends, Grindr doesnt help, and here in RJ i dont find people near. Sometimes i just think the worst and i really dont belong to this world.

    I wish i had a car to go diferent places, well, been in this college program, i just got here to make that, but i will decide to stay and i dont know how can i manage to stay here. Sometimes i just think to go back to PR since is hard here, i will have no house to live with, and working for the mouse is not my dream. tought they wont give me what i want.

    All i had ever think is that i will find a real nice person, like, to be roomates, had fun, go places, meat new people, etc, but, that is falling from my mind now that i see how are people here.

    I dont think i am a bad person, i just like to smile, talk about anything, been cuddly, and i am just alone, with no friends, since the people i will try to be friend with, they ignore me and never speak to me. So, whats the point now trying to make friends. I feel kind of lost and with noone to talk with.
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    Feb 04, 2013 11:24 PM GMT
    If you were like me you would find it not a problem to make friends wherever you go. Just be charming and tell swell stories and talk to people as if every word they say is fabulous. Friends will roll in.
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    Feb 04, 2013 11:41 PM GMT
    I dont think i am a very talkative guy, my english is not great and people never aproach to me to talk nothing. so...
  • springhealer

    Posts: 18

    Feb 05, 2013 2:07 AM GMT
    seems like you are losing hope...
    i understand your situation , parcticaly you have few chalanges:

    1.you are in a new place---its understandable to feel lonely when you move
    to a new place, it takes a while for everybody to make connections, so on
    this aspect you have to have patience , it s just an ajusting phase everyone who moved in a new place was going through

    2.you said you dont talk that much, sometimes is hard to improve this especially if you are a shy person but what you can do is to improve your listening skills because people love to talk about their problems and they feel atracted to the people interested in them

    3.your english is not that good--try to speak everywhere you have an ocasion to do it:store, restaurant, bar etc , dont be afraid if you have an accent, some american people love when someone have an accent, even others find it "sexy" in a way

    also, dont give people the impresion that you are craving their attention or friendship, americans like independent people and are usually drifted away by someone who is clingy

    act yourself as you have value cause i think you are having and you have a lot to offer

    good luck
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    Feb 09, 2013 3:57 AM GMT
    actually, my english isnt bad, i just dont know what to talk and i just talk random things, well, i am a verry good listener, i m used to hear everyones situations. And if i know someone...they want more than a friendship, so...is hard to find friends who WANTS to be friends. thats the main point i was trying to argue...xD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2013 4:15 AM GMT
    Making friends can be really difficult, especially in a new are where you don't know anyone. There aren't any gay bars in your local area?
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Feb 11, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    Always, always be yourself. Be who you are comfortable being. Sometimes if people are mean or don't react well to who you are then they aren't the people you want to become friends with...obviously. Don't change yourself to make others like you. Start with your work place. Find someone who you get along with and meet their friends. Eventually over time you will have a group of friends that you'll enjoy spending time with
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    Feb 11, 2013 9:02 PM GMT
    A true friend is like a diamond in the rough. And we all know how hard it is to find those things. And also how expensive it is for some who wish to buy them. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    Awwww.....handsome guy.....icon_wink.gif

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    Feb 11, 2013 9:07 PM GMT
    Its difficult in a new place and it becomes tougher if there is a language barrier.
    Just try to go out to various group activities like those on meetup. Just listening won't help, try to talk.
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    Feb 13, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    Well, about the persons in work, there is only one person who is puertorrican too, he told me he is Bi, which i dont care...i see him as a friend, i greet him with a chick kiss, and when ever i feel like kising him in the chicks i think he feels i am into him...but no, he is too young and i dont see myself in a future with him, only as a real friend, and i am working on that tough...and also, he is "bi" and i will never be with a confused and indesided person. icon_neutral.gif


    and...i dont have a car for the moment, so i cant go to clubs, and social activities, well...working for disney is kind of...tiring...depends on whats your role, for example...i dont have a routine job, i am always walking, and making stuffs, i get tired at the end of the day, is not like other jobs that u just let people pass...or press a bottom, or tell people where to go...-.-, and, only few people work wher ei work, so, its not a place to meet many people, and, in fact, noone look for me while i am working, i am always been nice to them and always start talking. they never aproach to me to talk. BUT....i dont care now. =)
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Feb 13, 2013 5:49 AM GMT
    sometimes you learn about yourself through the people you meet.. disneyland has a shitload of people there, and i'm sure most of them are very nice, in a good mood since they're in disneyland. start there. use your resources.

    i meet people through jobs i worked at, connected with customers and made friends with a few of them. be confident because people will see that and will want to talk to you despite your accent/language barrier.

    i have an accent and i use it to my advantage, like people would find me interesting and i'll use that as a conversation subject. makes people laugh because they will have a hard time guessing; so sort of an icebreaker, if you will. people like my accent now even though i speak fluently, and i want to be that way. i like being original and unique
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    Feb 13, 2013 6:13 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidIf you were like me you would find it not a problem to make friends wherever you go. Just be charming and tell swell stories and talk to people as if every word they say is fabulous. Friends will roll in.


    Well apparently, he's not like you.

    Christian,
    First of all, let's be clear there's nothing wrong with you. It's a big world and not everyone will or should have the same experience in it. But you'd like to make some positive changes in your life, which is great.

    I think the best advice, for developing both social skills and your language skills, is just to practice all the time. Practice where you have nothing to lose. It can be harder to make conversation with someone that you really want to get to know. So chat up the checker at the grocery store, talk with old ladies on the street, talk with anyone you see. It will most definitely feel awkward, but who cares? They'll forget about it and you anyways.

    You say you don't have a car - that's actually an opportunity because you can talk with people on public transportation. The point isn't necessarily to make friends with these people, but just to practice conversing.

    If you bicycle, find other bicyclists - they tend to be a friendly sort. Hell, if you don't have a bicycle, get one. That will open up much more of your city to you. Then figure out what you are interested in and join a club (not necessarily a gay club). You might connect with someone right away, or you might not. It won't hurt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    CFL_Oakland said
    smartmoney saidIf you were like me you would find it not a problem to make friends wherever you go. Just be charming and tell swell stories and talk to people as if every word they say is fabulous. Friends will roll in.


    Well apparently, he's not like you.

    Christian,
    First of all, let's be clear there's nothing wrong with you. It's a big world and not everyone will or should have the same experience in it. But you'd like to make some positive changes in your life, which is great.

    I think the best advice, for developing both social skills and your language skills, is just to practice all the time. Practice where you have nothing to lose. It can be harder to make conversation with someone that you really want to get to know. So chat up the checker at the grocery store, talk with old ladies on the street, talk with anyone you see. It will most definitely feel awkward, but who cares? They'll forget about it and you anyways.

    You say you don't have a car - that's actually an opportunity because you can talk with people on public transportation. The point isn't necessarily to make friends with these people, but just to practice conversing.

    If you bicycle, find other bicyclists - they tend to be a friendly sort. Hell, if you don't have a bicycle, get one. That will open up much more of your city to you. Then figure out what you are interested in and join a club (not necessarily a gay club). You might connect with someone right away, or you might not. It won't hurt.


    Thanks buddy!, Well, my english is ok, not that bad, just that i find it dificullt to keep a conversation on.
    I am just waiting till may, that my college program ends, so i can find a real job, probably moving to NY or Cali, dont know yet. I need experience in Job so i can get what i want in the future. Well, right now, i am a lil bit quiet, not speaking to random persons in work, and sudently, this tall blue eye good looking guy is huging me allot...he is 6'2 and i am 5'6....i literaly have to look up...and i dont even know if he is interested in me, or he just want to have me as a friend.