COWS & The WORLD, Updated!!

  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Feb 05, 2013 3:21 AM GMT


    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
    You eat both of them.
    The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
    The IMF loans you two cows.
    You eat both of them.
    The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
    You are out getting a haircut.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2013 5:30 AM GMT
    You are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Feb 05, 2013 6:34 AM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2013 11:29 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    Amen.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Feb 06, 2013 3:41 PM GMT
    tru_blu_aussie said
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    Amen.


    All of these milk cow guys here. Amazing. icon_biggrin.gif Too bad your economic outlook is sad. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 4:41 PM GMT
    You wanna know why the outlook is so sad? Because of the creation of money. It has spawned a greed and selfishness so unfathomable, that it has become a 5-headed monster that we may not be able to slay. You keep preaching about how you've got the answer in "traditional capitalism" all the while, the middle class continues to deplete, the top percentile of the rich continue to rape and pillage our families and way of life until there is nothing left but forced servitude. You can take your money, and your free market bullshit and shove it straight up Karl Rove's ass. Right where your head is.


    conservativejock said
    tru_blu_aussie said
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    Amen.


    All of these milk cow guys here. Amazing. icon_biggrin.gif Too bad your economic outlook is sad. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    And while I'm on my fucking soapbox let's talk about how the free market is suppose to inspire creation and advancement through "challenge" and "placement". The free market system is suppose to be one that challenges up and coming young minds to compete with one another to be the brightest of our times.

    BUT - if you can't afford college...then you are obviously just too stupid to be one of those bright minds...right? Oh pish posh...can't afford college? Why don't they just get a loan? Why, so they can continue to add to the crushing collapse that is coming from the scam that is the "student loan"? Who is ultimately banking off those student loans, huh?

    The free market is a farce. It's been systematically abused to deepen the pockets of only a small percentage of people, while that "inspired competition" has all but died.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 5:59 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    Would be a fucked cow or a fucking bull, correct?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    I sprinkle a colorful word in there and your mind wanders to bestiality?

    freedomisntfree said
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    Would be a fucked cow or a fucking bull, correct?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    ConfederateGhost saidYou are so dumb.

    "TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income ."

    Anyone raised on/aware of farms knows that a bull is worth way more than one fucking cow.

    The rest was hilarious though.


    Would be a fucked cow or a fucking bull, correct?
    [/quote]

    [quote][cite]ConfederateGhost said[/cite]I sprinkle a colorful word in there and your mind wanders to bestiality?

    The midwest .... where men are men and sheep are scared?