Advice Date

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2008 7:11 PM GMT
    My boyfriend of two years has been acting funny lately. I couldn't put my finger on it so I started snooping. I read his email and it turns out he is cheating with a female. She is in Denmark he is in California.

    What should I do?

    Should I confront him and let him know I read his email or what?

    Thanks in advance.
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    Oct 01, 2008 7:57 PM GMT
    Well, you didn't really define how he is "cheating" and what the expectations are of your relationship. The fact you snooped in his email suggests there are trust issues. That in of itself doesn't have to doom a relationship, but you will eventually have to discuss it with him and figure out what's really best for both of you.

    We don't know either of you well enough to tell you what's the best thing to do. You have to figure it out by doing something and then gauging the response. But effective communication is the best place to start.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Oct 01, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    Is this literal cheating or just online stuff?

    There is a difference
    If they have hooked up then You better confront him

    Not its just online stuff I'd just bring it up nonchalantly

    but if you're in a relationship and your BF's foolin' around ... male or female its Definitely your business
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    Oct 01, 2008 8:31 PM GMT
    johnnydollar18232 saidMy boyfriend of two years has been acting funny lately. I couldn't put my finger on it so I started snooping. I read his email and it turns out he is cheating with a female. She is in Denmark he is in California.

    What should I do?

    Should I confront him and let him know I read his email or what?

    Thanks in advance.


    How do you define "acting funny"? I always sensed when a BF was cheating, because "acting funny" or out of character was a dead give-away. And I was never wrong.

    For me, a guy who said he was gay, and is in fact bi, is already cheating. He's cheating emotionally on you, plus he's simply lied.

    Or if he's just learned that maybe his sexual orientation is different from what he first thought himself, that's fine for him, but maybe not what you signed on for.

    Monitor this a little longer, be prepared to confront him with questions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 01, 2008 10:09 PM GMT
    Amor de lejos es amor de pendejos icon_biggrin.gif.

    This is a saying in spanish,

    Love from the distance is love for the ......... Feel free to add a bad word to it.

    Sorry It does not rhyme in English!

    What I am saying is that, dont sweat it, she's far away. From what I read, it sounds like he's still debating about being gay? Now I would question that!
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    Oct 02, 2008 7:32 PM GMT
    johnnydollar18232 saidMy boyfriend of two years has been acting funny lately. I couldn't put my finger on it so I started snooping. I read his email and it turns out he is cheating with a female. She is in Denmark he is in California.

    What should I do?

    Should I confront him and let him know I read his email or what?

    Thanks in advance.




    ...because you never see each other for you to simply ask what's up?

    I never understand this "snoop" mentality.
    If you have the need to snoop, then that probably answers the eternal question:
    You have no trust and you don't communicate, work towards changing those to issues or pack it up and move on. If you are thinking of snooping then the writing is already on the wall (the realtionship has issues) and it's time to face each other and talk it out and hopefully work it out.

    The only other reason to snoop is lack of maturity.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 7:45 PM GMT
    I think snooping is wrong - just ask the person.
    icon_cool.gif