Gay? But don't enjoy anal sex? Now what?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 12:52 AM GMT
    I know this may be weird but I'm gay and I just can't get into anal sex.

    I dont like giving it and I hate recieving it. It hurts and just does not feel natural and isn't enjoyable for me.

    Is there anyway to get used to this and enjoy it because I feel like its hindering my ability to meet guys. Every guy I talk to wants sex and when I say I'm primarily into oral it seems to be a deal breaker

    any ideas?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 06, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    I think there are other guys who feel the way you do. You shouldn't feel pressured... Besides, when you meet the right guy you might feel differently.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    You're g0y, not even kidding
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    Yeah if you don't like doing it...then don't do it? find what you like and stick with it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    not all heterosexuals like oral sex; not much of a difference here in my opinion.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Feb 06, 2013 1:52 AM GMT
    Realizing you're gay is not like graduating from trade school, where you're expected to know all the tricks of the trade. Anal sex horrified me when I was your age, then I turned into a power top. Now I'm considering that I might be a bottom. Even with oral sex, guys grow into it. Consider yourself a gay apprentice. Then you won't have to do everything you think gay men do in bed.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:53 AM GMT
    Relax, buddy. You're not alone. My partner and I have been together 17 years and we can count on one hand all the times we've tried it. There are plenty of excellent ways for naked men to have fun even without anal sex! PLENTY!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:55 AM GMT
    Claystation saidYou're g0y, not even kidding


    g0y is moar about Culturals disdain than physical acts.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:57 AM GMT
    Cash said
    Claystation saidYou're g0y, not even kidding


    g0y is moar about Culturals disdain than physical acts.


    Does that mean he's not Jewish? Being a Goy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:57 AM GMT
    beachbu310 saidnot all heterosexuals like oral sex; not much of a difference here in my opinion.


    This in a nutshell. I only know of two women who actually enjoy anal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 1:58 AM GMT
    Being Gay generally means that You feel emotionally and spiritually connected to another Dude who You also feel and overwhelming physical attraction to.

    How You express any of that is highly personal and defies definition or rules.

    Simply find a Gay Dude who is into what You are and don't give a second thought to someone ELSE'S rules or definitions.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:00 AM GMT
    Cash saidBeing Gay generally means that You feel emotionally and spiritually connected to another Dude who You also feel and overwhelming physical attraction to.

    How You express any of that is highly personal and defies definition or rules.

    Simply find a Gay Dude who is into what You are and don't give a second thought to someone ELSE'S rules or definitions.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Well said!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:05 AM GMT
    Cash said
    Claystation saidYou're g0y, not even kidding


    g0y is moar about Culturals disdain than physical acts.
    +1

    I also refrain from anal sex because I don't enjoy giving or receiving it; but it has nothing to do with cultural disdain. It's just not something I was born to enjoy.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:07 AM GMT
    You'd be surprised by the number of men who prefer Frottage.
  • GWriter

    Posts: 1446

    Feb 06, 2013 2:09 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Cash said
    Claystation saidYou're g0y, not even kidding


    g0y is moar about Culturals disdain than physical acts.
    +1

    I also refrain from anal sex because I don't enjoy giving or receiving it; but it has nothing to do with cultural disdain. It's just not something I was born to enjoy.


    Same here. You are not as unusual as you think, OP!
  • GWriter

    Posts: 1446

    Feb 06, 2013 2:10 AM GMT
    Elusium saidYou'd be surprised by the number of men who prefer Frottage.


    Yup! Isn't it so much nicer being face to face! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:15 AM GMT
    There are MANY gay men, including myself, who have absolutely no interest in anal sex whatsoever. It gets really tiring reading some of these threads where guys post pics or brag about or reference anal sex like it's the norm. It is not. Whether it is a complete dislike of or unwillingness to put yourself at risk for diseases, there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding other ways to connect with men. Enough of the top or bottom talk.

    Erotic wrestling is so much better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:15 AM GMT
    You're definitely not alone. I've don't get off on anal sex, though I have done it just to be fair to a guy I'm with, and I don't really consider myself a great top either.

    Like others have said, their are many ways to have fun. If you meet someone you truly love to be with, then physical expression is something you can work out between the two of you.

    I'd rather spend my life with someone I enjoy spending every moment with, than being hung up on how I get my rocks off! I actually really enjoy oral sex -- giving and receiving -- and mixed up with a sensual massage and long passionate kissing and body worship, "making love" can be long and passionate without anal sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:16 AM GMT
    Become a Monk or a Nun?
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:26 AM GMT
    I think what everyone here has said is true. You don't need to be into anal to be happy and content. However, if you are curious about ways to slowly attempt anal, I think the number one thing is to spend time, alone, with yourself, and plenty of lube, and trimmed fingernails, and maybe some small toys. You are the safest and most secure with your own body, and can explore all you want. This could happen over several sessions. Perhaps you have done this already and got nothing out of it, that's definitely OK. Perhaps not.

    And perhaps, in ten years, all of a sudden you will try again and love it. You never know.

    But from my experience, no one hits your own prostate better than you do yourself icon_wink.gif
  • Zinc

    Posts: 197

    Feb 06, 2013 2:28 AM GMT
    I guess the pushing of anal sex in the community parallels the supposed hypersexuality of every gay male . . . it's simply not true that every gay guy out there holds anal as the gold standard of sex. Of course you'd think that since often the first thing you're asked is top or bttm on a lot of sites or apps who shall go namelss. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    BRIX saidRelax, buddy. You're not alone. My partner and I have been together 17 years and we can count on one hand all the times we've tried it. There are plenty of excellent ways for naked men to have fun even without anal sex! PLENTY!

    like that comment...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:31 AM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidI know this may be weird but I'm gay and I just can't get into anal sex.

    I dont like giving it and I hate recieving it. It hurts and just does not feel natural and isn't enjoyable for me.

    Is there anyway to get used to this and enjoy it because I feel like its hindering my ability to meet guys. Every guy I talk to wants sex and when I say I'm primarily into oral it seems to be a deal breaker

    any ideas?



    PREACH! This is exactly how I feel....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 2:34 AM GMT
    Don't listen to these "try it you might like it" posts. They are only others' attempts to get you to conform to what they like. You already know you don't like it or are not interested in it. Don't do something you do not enjoy only to please someone else. Just be upfront right away when talking to someone you have an interest in. You will find others who share the same likes sooner or later.
  • Zinc

    Posts: 197

    Feb 06, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    wrestlervic saidDon't listen to these "try it you might like it" posts. They are only others' attempts to get you to conform to what they like. You already know you don't like it or are not interested in it. Don't do something you do not enjoy only to please someone else. Just be upfront right away when talking to someone you have an interest in. You will find others who share the same likes sooner or later.


    It's just like when someone says how do you know your'e gay? Why not try it with a woman! lol